Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, July 17 Tomorrow, July 18, I have to go to Calgary to have injections into my eyeballs. Yes, they poke me into the eyeballs with very sharp needles, and squirt Lucentis into the Macular. That means for three days I can see enough to sweep and vacuum, mop floors, do laundry, and even mow the lawns. And cook. However, I won't be able to work on the computer. Nothing will be answered and nothing will be sent out on Friday, July 19, Saturday, July 20, Sunday, July 21. You can email me, but don't expect answers until Monday, July 22. _____________________________________________________ Today, July 17 in 1821 Spain ceded Florida to the U.S. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Sitter left two disabled kids home alone while he went to a strip club _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) _____________________________________________________ >From Chris I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices. "Airfare to Denver is $300," the cheery salesperson replied. "And what about Salt Lake City?" "We have a really great rate to Salt Lake -- $99," she said. "But there is a stopover." "Where?" "In Denver," she said. ______________________________________________________` Waves _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and a Darwin Award has been earned by Kalvin Dywane Guice, 38, St. Petersburg, Floriduh Sitter left two disabled kids home alone while he went to a strip club A man left two children--one of whom suffers from brain damage and is severely autistic--home alone early Friday while he spent four hours at a Florida strip club, police allege. Kalvin Dywane Guice, 38, has been charged with a pair of felony child neglect counts in connection with his late-night excursion to the 4 Play Gentlemen's Club in St. Petersburg, which is about nine miles from the residence where he was supposed to be supervising the children. A criminal complaint does not reveal Guice's relationship with the minors, whose mother was in Georgia attending her mother's funeral. Guice, cops say, was left to care for the children during this time. The court filing also does not indicate how police learned that the children were left alone, or how long Guice was supposed to care for them. According to investigators, Guice, seen above, admitted leaving the children home alone while he was at the strip club (seen below), where he consumed four or five Jack and Cokes. Guice reportedly acknowledged that the children were unable to care for themselves, especially in the event of an emergency. Police said one of the children suffers from brain damage and is severely autistic and physically disabled. When cops checked on him, the victim was located in his room in a urine- filled diaper. The victim, whose age was redacted from the complaint, is non-verbal and needs constant supervision. The other child, a girl, is also unable to care for the victim, nor herself, cops stated. Guice was released yesterday from the Pinellas County jail after posting $5000 bond. A judge has ordered him to have no contact with the two children. Guice, who told police he works for VA Hospital, is an Army vet who has been stationed at Fort Stewart in Georgia. A vehicle maintenance supervisor, Guice was last promoted in late-2016 to sergeant first class. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Max Re: NotePad Dear Webby, Right on re NotePad! I have used it since you first recommended it in the 90s. Sometimes it scares me! I wonder how to do something tricky, then I briefly guess what commands I would put in there if I was the programmer, try that, and DUH! It works! Has been hiding in there all along! I got one question, though. For some of my work, I need to justify the text at about 60 characters wide, similar to your newsletter. I can do it manually, and have for years, but it would be nice if I could do that with one or two clicks for an entire document instead of one line at a time. Thanks Max Dear Max For the Width, try CTRL W Be careful if you have HTML stuff in there, like a PayPal button. It can get messed up if you change the formatting. Usually it is OK, but it is a good idea to check all tricky HTML after width adjustments. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. While standing watch in the Coast Guard station in Juneau, Alaska, I got a call from the Navy in the nearby city of Adak. They had lost contact with one of their planes, and they needed the Coast Guard to send an aircraft to go find it. I asked the man where the Navy aircraft had last been spotted so we would know where to search. "I can't tell you," the Navy man said. "That's classified." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Thanks to Roland for this story: The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he went inside and told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted, she went outside, and in a few minutes, she returned with the lens in her hand. "How did you manage to find it, Mom?" the teenager asked. "We weren't looking for the same thing," she replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Working With Glitter If you are working with glitter or other small material for crafts, be sure to put down a piece of newspaper before you start working. Then when you are done, you can form the newspaper into a funnel and pour the extra back into the glitter container. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | A Bobcat gives birth on his roof every year and he decided to set a camera up this year. |
___________________________________________________ Earl says he used to yearn for a pretty woman..... now the "Y" is silent" ___________________________________________________ There is a new study out about women. thought these results were pretty interesting. 85% of women think their ass is too big. 10% of women think their ass is too little. The other 5% say that they don't care, they love him and would have married him anyway. __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died. But until now, she'd never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued. "You must take the loyalty oath first," responded the passport clerk. "Raise your right hand, please." The old gal raised her right hand. "Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?" was the first question. The little old lady's face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice, "Uhhh... all by myself?" =========== Why does that not apply to the enemies of the USA, who are in congress and constantly featured by the commie press? ___________________________________________________ | Today, July 17 in 1212 The Moslems were crushed in the Spanish crusade. 1453 France defeated England at Castillon, France, which ended the 100 Years' War. 1785 France limited the importation of goods from Britain. 1815 Napoleon Bonaparte surrendered to the British at Rochefort, France. 1821 Spain ceded Florida to the U.S. 1866 Authorization was given to build a tunnel beneath the Chicago River. The three-year project cost $512,709. 1898 U.S. troops under General William R. Shafter took Santiago de Cuba during the Spanish-American War. 1917 The British royal family adopted the Windsor name. 1941 Brigadier General Soervell directed Architect G. Edwin Bergstrom to have basic plans and architectural perspectives for an office building that could house 40,000 War Department employees on his desk by the following Monday morning. The building became known as the Pentagon. 1945 U.S. President Truman, Soviet leader Josef Stalin and British Prime Minister Winston S. Churchill began meeting at Potsdam in the final Allied summit of World War II. During the meeting Stalin made the comment that "Hitler had escaped." 1946 Chinese communists opened a drive against the Nationalist army on the Yangtze River. 1960 Francis Gary Powers pled guilty to spying charges in a Moscow court after his U-2 spy plane was shot down over the Soviet Union. 1966 Ho Chi Minh ordered a partial mobilization of North Vietnam forces to defend against American air strikes. 1975 An Apollo spaceship docked with a Soyuz spacecraft in orbit. It was the first link up between the U.S. and Soviet Union. 1979 Nicaraguan President Anastasio Somoza resigned and fled to Miami in exile. 1986 The largest bankruptcy filing in U.S. history took place when LTV Corporation asked for court protection from more than 20,000 creditors. LTV Corp. had debts in excess of $4 billion. 1987 Lieutenant Colonel Oliver North and rear Admiral John Poindexter begin testifying to Congress at the "Iran-Contra" hearings. 1997 After 117 years, the Woolworth Corp. closed its last 400 stores. 1998 Biologists reported that they had deciphered the genome (genetic map) of the syphilis bacterium. 2008 In China, construction of the Shanghai World Financial Center was completed. 2019 Do smiled. |
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