| Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, July 23 ____________________________________________________ History: today, July 22 in 1904, The ice cream cone was invented by Charles E. Menches during the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis, MO. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Predator who said it was okay to rape sleeping women was convicted for Kings Cross attack ___________________________________________________ Q The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' --- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004) It is said that power corrupts, but actually it's more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power. --- David Brin The average person thinks he isn't. --- Father Larry Lorenzoni The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside. One deacon ducked down and said, "I hope the reverend didn't see us or recognize my pickup." The other replied indifferently, "What difference does it make. God knows we're in here... and he's the only one who counts." The first deacon countered, "But God won't tell my wife." ___________________________________________________ The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if we're at the right funeral." ___________________________________________________ Reverend Smith, a respected church leader, arrived in a large city to deliver a series of speeches. At a banquet the first evening, he noticed some reporters in the audience. Because he wanted to use some of the stories he told that night in his speeches the next day, he asked the reporters to omit them from their articles. One article that came out the next day, written by a cub reporter, concluded with this line: "Reverend Smith also told a number of stories that cannot be printed." ___________________________________________________ Your picture of the young goat reminded me of my picture with a young bighorn sheep on Wildhorse Island in Flathead Lake Montana. must have been about 1960. It must have been very young for me to be able to capture it. We were not prepared for tagging so just let it go. Feel free to use this photo if you wish. Clyde ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ "I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient, who tipped the scales at about three hundred pounds. "I don't want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time." ____________________________________________________ A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the mother. Then one night the child was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right up to the end. "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail." ____________________________________________________ An elderly fellow was taken to the hospital for an examination of his circulatory system. When he got home, his wife asked what had happened. He said, "They worked this gadget into my artery and up into my heart, and then they sucked out thirty years of chocolate cake." ____________________________________________________ Scientists were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang. Apparently, that sound was "Oh Thit!"." ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Resume blooper: "While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility." Try the Salvation Army Thrift Shop. They are always looking for empty shirts. __________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Joy Re: Set File Types Dear Webby Sometimes I can't open picture attachments in email. The message I get is,"This file does not have a program associated with it for performing this action. Create an association in the Folders Options Control Panel. I don't really know what to do after opening the Folder Options folder. Can you help me? Thanks, Joy Dear Joy Right-Click on START select EXPLORE Click on TOOLS FOLDER OPTIONS FILE TYPES Scroll down to the file type that you need a program for, highlight it click on advanced, and select a suitable program for it. For GIF, JPG, PNG, BMP select PaintShop Pro or whatever you use for graphics. Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________ There was a major sale at Victoria's Secret and Thorn wanted to get his wife some really sexy lingerie. The store was packed with women for this big sale and before he knew it, Thorn was pushed and shoved by frantic women all trying to get at the merchandise. Thorn remained calm for as long as he could, then bowed his head and pushed hard and effectively, and plowed through the crowd of women. I can just see him. When I worked with Thorn, he was a model of patience, up to a point. After that it was a lot safer to be out of tool throwing range. "Hey you!", an angry female voice yelled out at him, "Try acting like a gentleman!". "That's what I HAVE BEEN doing," Thorn retorted, "But since that doesn't work in this zoo, I'm gonna try to act like you wimin!" ____________________________________________ A teenaged boy with spiked hair, nose ring, and baggy clothes says to his friend,"I don't really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from making me go visit aunt Helen with them." ________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Amer Mohamed, 31, Kings Cross station, England Predator who said it was okay to rape sleeping women was convicted for Kings Cross attack Amer Mohamed claimed his sex attack was aimed at helping victim sleep A vile predator who attempted to rape a woman while she was sleeping has been convicted. Amer Mohamed, 31, appeared at Inner London Crown Court on Thursday where he defended his actions as doing her a favour. Mohamed approached the victim at around 5am in July 2022 who he had never met before, as she slept in Kings Cross station. She awoke to find Mohamed exposing himself and trying to rape her. The victim challenged him and tried to stop him but Mohammed overpowered her and carried on the attack for half an hour until her friend woke up and intervened. She approached British Transport Police officers later that morning at the station and reported it to them. She was able to identify him and he was arrested at the scene and taken to police custody. When asked about consent in his police interview, Mohamed claimed that if someone was asleep it was okay to have sex with them because they arent dead, the court heard. He was shown CCTV of the incident, which was captured in its entirety, and claimed he was just trying to help [the victim] sleep properly. Detective Constable Rachel Parfitt said after Mohammed was found guilty of attempted rape: Amer Mohammed is a vile predator who deliberately targeted an unconscious woman and subjected her to a truly abhorrent attack in the belief she would be powerless to stop him. It is beyond contemptible that he has not only shown a complete lack of remorse for his actions but actively tried to defend himself, claiming on record that its fine have sex with someone if they are asleep. I will be absolutely clear that it is not and we will work relentlessly to ensure sexual offenders like him are brought before the courts to face the full force of the law. I would also like to take this opportunity to commend the victim for her courage in coming forward and supporting our investigation despite being forced by Mohamed to relive her traumatic ordeal in court. It is her bravery which has ensured he has faced justice today. ___________________________________________________ The fireman had rushed into a burning building and rescued a beautiful young lady who was clad only in the top half of her baby-doll nightgown. He carried her in his arms down three flights of stairs and four blocks all the way to his car behind the fire hall. As they arrived there, she looked at him with great admiration and said, "Oh, you are wonderful. It must have taken great strength and courage to rescue me the way you did." "Yes it did," the fireman admitted. "I had to fight off three other firemen who were trying to get to you before me." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Blue-haired old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next!" They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, the man left his hat on the bench, but didn't miss it until they were back on the freeway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around. The woman fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant, that they would be late getting to their destination, etc. She called her husband every bad name she could think of. When they finally arrived at the restaurant, as the man got out of the car to retrieve his hat, the woman yelled to him, "While you're in there, you might as well get my purse, too." ___________________________________________________ David and an Italian and an Irishman, all first time fathers, are pacing nervously in a maternity ward waiting room when a nurse rushes out of the delivery room holding up a newborn black baby. "Yours?" she asked the Italian man, who immediately curses her out in Italian and says "No! notta my kid!" "Yours?" The nurse asks the Irishman, who answers "It blodie will betta not be!" "OK, then it must be yours", she informs David, who sheepishly looks at the ground and mumbles "It must be, my wife burns everything! __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work, please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today July 2#, in 1715, The first lighthouse in America was authorized for construction at Little Brewster Island, Massachusetts. 1827, First swimming school in the U.S. opened in Boston, MA. 1829, William Burt patented the typographer, which was the first typewriter. 1877, The first municipal railroad passenger service began in Cincinnati, Ohio. 1886, Steve Brodie, a New York saloonkeeper, claimed to have made a daredevil plunge from the Brooklyn Bridge into the East River. 1904, The ice cream cone was invented by Charles E. Menches during the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis, MO. 1914, Austria-Hungary issued an ultimatum to Serbia following the killing of Archduke Francis Ferdinand by a Serb assassin. The dispute led to World War I. 1938, The first federal game preserve was approved by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. The area was 2,000 acres in Utah. 1945, The first passenger train observation car was placed in service by the Chicago, Burlington and Quincy Railroad. 1952, Egyptian military officers led by Gamal Abdel Nasser overthrew King Farouk I. 1954, A law was passed that stated "The Secretary of the Navy is authorized to repair, equip, and restore the United States Ship Constitution, as far as may be practicable, to her original appearance, but not for active service, and thereafter to maintain the United States Ship Constitution at Boston, Massachusetts." 1958, The submarine Nautilus departed from Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, under orders to conduct "Operation Sunshine." The mission was to be the first vessel to cross the north pole by ship. The Nautils achieved the goal on August 3, 1958. 1962, The "Telstar" communications satellite sent the first live TV broadcast to Europe. 1972, Eddie Merckx of Belgium won his fourth consecutive Tour de France bicycling competition. 1972, The U.S. launched Landsat 1 (ERTS-1). It was the first Earth-resources satellite. 1984, Miss America, Vanessa Williams, turned in her crown after it had been discovered that nude photos of her had appeared in "Penthouse" magazine. She was the first to resign the title. 1985, Commodore unveiled the personal computer Amiga 1000. 1986, Britain's Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson at Westminster Abbey in London. They divorced in 1996. 1998, U.S. scientists at the University of Hawaii turned out more than 50 "carbon-copy" mice, with a cloning technique. 2000, Lance Armstrong won his second Tour de France. 2023, Do smiled.
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