Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, February 4 Today's Bonehead Award:  Dumb looking creep busted for identity theft  ______________________________________________________ Today, February 4 in 1824 J.W. Goodrich introduced rubber galoshes to the public. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 What's done cannot be undone. --- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616) It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age. --- William Feather ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ A cop stops a speeding car and tells the woman driver: "When I saw you driving down the road, I thought to myself, "sixty-five at least." The woman replied: I don't think that is quite fair. I think this hat makes me look older. _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks. The two Americans just stare at him. "Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries. The two continue to stare. "Parlare Italiano?" No response. "Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language." "Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good." ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Julian Mitchell, 20, Davidson County, Tennessee  Dumb looking creep busted for identity theft  The 20-year-old Tennessee resident was arrested Thursday night for identity theft after allegedly trying to use another man's bank card at a Nashville bar. A search subsequent to Mitchell's arrest found the victim's wallet inside the defendant's fanny pack. Mitchell is being held in the Davidson County jail in lieu of $25,000 bond. He is scheduled for a February 4 court appearance.  
 From: Sam Re: Not getting my mail out  Dear DearWebby, I am writing this from my daughter's computer. Any mail I send to you or almost everyone, never gets there. Yet a few people do get it. What am I doing wrong? By the way, my own email address is samtc@***.com Sam  Dear Sam I found your samtc address in my blacklist. Most likely all your other contact also have you blacklisted. Have you at one time been a silly nuisance and annoyed people with an a%to-responder? With today's spam protection programs it is common and normal to automatically blacklist nuisance mail like a%to-responders. If I sent the Humor Letter out with that word in the subject line, I would probably get twenty thousand bounces or complaints that it did not arrive. Even worse are automatic confirmation requests sent out automatically. Some of them collect email addresses for spam purposes, the rest of them are often so insecure that spammers routinely raid them and harvest the addresses. Naturally, those will get you blacklisted too. About all you can do is change your address to one that has not been blacklisted, and make sure that you are not using anything that looks like you are being a nuisance again. Have FUN! DearWebby  
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 Delivering his speech at the opening banquet of a national convention, the visiting minister told several anecdotes he expected to repeat at meetings the next day. Because he wanted to use the jokes again, he requested that the reporters omit them from any accounts they might turn in to their newspapers. A cub reporter, in commenting on the speech, ended his piece with the following: "The minister told a number of stories that cannot be printed here." 
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 Two women were paired together as partners in a club tournament and met on the putting green for the first time. After introductions, the first golfer asked the second, "What's your handicap?" "Oh, I'm a scratch golfer," the other replied. "Really!" exclaimed the first woman, suitably impressed that she was paired up with such a strong player. "Yes, I write down all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones! ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Contact Lenses  Before cleaning your contact lenses, close the drain in your bathroom sink or cover it with a washcloth. This will keep the lenses from going down the drain if you drop them.  Thriftyfun.com   ____________________________________________________   
 
 
Lets travel to Bulgaria today. 
 ___________________________________________________ A man goes to the doctor with a swollen foot. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse. "I'll be right back with some water," the doctor tells him. The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses patience. He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hobbles back into the examining room. The doctor comes back with a pan of warm water. "Ok, after the tablet dissolves, you can sit here and soak that foot for at least 20 minutes." ___________________________________________________ Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to my mother to complain. Trying to console me, my dad said that men are not all like this all the time. "Nonsense," I said, inconsolable. "Men are good for only one thing!" "Yes," my mother interjected, "but how often do you have to parallel park?" ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight or if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms." --- Elayne Boosler ___________________________________________________  
 Today February 4 in 1783 Britain declared a formal cessation of hostilities with its former colonies, the United States of America. 1789 Electors unanimously chose George Washington to be the first president of the United States. 1824 J.W. Goodrich introduced rubber galoshes to the public. 1847 In Maryland, the first U.S. Telegraph Company was established. 1861 Delegates from six southern states met in Montgomery, AL, to form the Confederate States of America. 1901 "Captain Jinks of the Horse Marines" opened in New York City. 1904 The Russo-Japanese War began after Japan laid siege to Port Arthur. 1913 Louis Perlman received a patent for his demountable tire- carrying rims. 1932 The first Winter Olympics were held in the United States at Lake Placid, NY. 1935 CBS radio presented "Mrs. Wiggs of the Cabbage Patch" for the first time. 1936 Radium E. became the first radioactive substance to be produced synthetically. 1945 During World War II, U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and Soviet leader Josef Stalin began a conference at Yalta to outline plans for Germany's defeat. 1948 Ceylon gained independence within the British Commonwealth. The country later became known as Sri Lanka. 1953 "The Stooge" premiered at the Paramount Theatre in New York City. 1957 Smith-Corona Manufacturing Inc., of New York, began selling portable electric typewriters. The first machine weighed 19 pounds. 1968 The world's largest hovercraft was launched at Cowes, Isle of Wight. 1973 The Reshef was unveiled as Israel's missile boat. 1974 Patricia (Patty) Hearst was kidnapped in Berkeley, CA, by the Symbionese Liberation Army. 1976 An earthquake in Guatemala and Honduras killed more than 22,000 people. 1985 U.S. President Ronald Reagan's defense budget called for a tripling of the expenditure on the "Star Wars" research program. 1993 Russian scientists unfurled a giant mirror in orbit and flashed a beam of sunlight across Europe during the night. Observers saw it only as a momentary flash. 1997 A civil jury in California found O.J. Simpson liable in the death of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Goldman's parents were awarded $8.5 million in compensatory damages. 1997 Two Israeli troop-carrying helicopters collided on their way to Lebanon, all 73 soldiers and airmen aboard were killed. 1997 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 600th National Hockey League (NHL) goal during his 719th game. Lemieux reached the milestone second fastest in history. Gretzky had reached the plateau during his 718th game. 1998 In northeast Afghanistan, at least 5,000	people were killed in an earthquake that measured 6.1 on the Richter Scale. 1999 Warplanes from Israel attacked south Lebanon just after rockets were fired toward Israel. No casualies were claimed on either side. 1999 Amadou Diallo, an unarmed West African immigrant, was shot and killed in front of his Bronx home by four plainclothes New York City police officers. The officers had been conducting a nighttime search for a rape suspect. 2000 Austrian President Thomas Klestil swore in a coalition government that included Joerg Haider's far-right Freedom Party. European Union sanctions were a result of the action. 2003 Yugoslavia was formally dissolved by lawmakers. The country was replaced with a loose union of its remaining two republics, Serbia and Montenegro. 2004 The social networking website Facebook.com was launched. 2019 Do smiled. 
 

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