Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, February 22 ___________________________________________________ Today, February 22 in 1630 Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists at their first Thanksgiving dinner. ______________________________________________________ An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field. --- Niels Bohr (1885 - 1962) I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way. --- Franklin P. Adams (1881 - 1960) ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: NFL free agent Greg Robinson jailed in Texas on pot charge __________________________________________ I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way. --- Franklin P. Adams (1881 - 1960) __________________________________________ __________________________________________ >From Dale Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Canada, I was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit. Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother's delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way. Later, I was stopped by another trooper. "What have I done?" I asked. "Nothing," the trooper said, smiling. "I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies. ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by NFL free agent Greg Robinson jailed in Texas on pot charge Greg Robinson 27, El Paso, Texas NFL offensive tackle Greg Robinson remained in a West Texas jail without bond Wednesday after federal agents said they found 157 pounds (71.21 kilograms) of marijuana in a rented vehicle in which he and two other people were riding. Robinson, 27, of Thibodeaux, Louisiana, and Jaquan Tyreke Bray, 26, of La Grange, Georgia, were in the El Paso County Detention Center after federal authorities charged them with conspiracy to possess marijuana with intent to distribute it. Both were held without bond pending an initial appearance before a U.S. magistrate judge. If convicted, both could be sentenced to up to 20 years in federal prison.It was unclear from jail and federal court records if they had attorneys. According to a criminal complaint filed Wednesday by the Drug Enforcement Administration, Robinson, Bray and an unidentified third person were driving from Los Angeles to Louisiana in a rented sport utility vehicle on Interstate 10 through a remote section of West Texas. When they passed a Border Patrol agent with a drug- sniffing dog, the dog detected the scent of marijuana. The agent radioed ahead to the patrol's checkpoint in near Sierra Blanca, Texas, 83 miles (134 kilometers) southeast of El Paso. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: June Re: Text editor Dear Webby I need a text editor, that is more reliable than WordPad and that does not try to impose fonts or formatting. Whatcha got? June Dear June I have been using NoteTab since the mid 90s. You get tabs like browsers have nowadays, and you can copy back and forth between tabs. It produces clean text, that you can use for web pages, but you can use HTML with it, without it showing as web pages. You see the code. It also has a clip board and outlining, though I have never needed that. There is a way to strip HTML codes with one click, and a really fast search/replace. I like it! Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ An Indian, a black man and a Polack share an apartment. The rent is due soon and all three are unemployed, so they all go out to look for a job. That evening, they met to discuss their day. The Indian says to his roommates, "Me pissed me no find no job." The black man then says, "Shit man, I ain't hooked up no job either!" The Polack chimes in, "Hey, I found a good job! The owner said all I had to do was show up on time at 8A.M. and I could go to work!" Knowing that the Indian woke really early and watched the sun rise, the Polack asked the Indian to wake him at 6:30 so he could get to work on time and then went to bed. The black man liked to play practical jokes and talked the Indian into helping him play one on the Polack. While the Polack slept the other two painted his face black. The Indian woke the Polack at 6:30 who then got dressed and went straight to his new job. When he got there, he told the owner he was ready to go to work. The owner said he didn't know what he was talking about. The Polack reminded him of his promise to put him to work if he showed up on time. The owner said that the guy he hired was white. The Polack replied, "I am white". The owner said, "No you're not, you are black, go look in the mirror!" The Polack went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and exclaimed, "That stupid damn Indian woke up the wrong guy!" _____________________________________________ The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In the piece, there's a long passage about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one. After slamming several beers in quick succession, one of them looked at his watch. "Hey! We need to get back!" "No need to panic," said a fellow bassist, "I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled." A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion. "Well, of course," said her companion, "Don't you see? It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded." ____________________________________________ A man in England is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the back seat. And the women just won't leave the poor guy alone. His mother-in-law says, "You're driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay to the left!" After several more orders from both of them the man breaks down and barks at his wife, "Who's driving this car -- you or your mother?" ____________________________________________ | No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 22 in 1630 Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists at their first Thanksgiving dinner. 1784 "Empress of China", a U.S. merchant ship, left New York City for the Far East. 1819 Spain ceded Florida to the United States. 1855 The U.S. Congress voted to appropriate $200,000 for continuance of the work on the Washington Monument. The next morning the resolution was tabled and it would be 21 years before the Congress would vote on funds again. Work was continued by the Know-Nothing Party in charge of the project. 1859 U.S. President Buchanan approved the Act of February 22, 1859, which incorporated the Washington National Monument Society "for the purpose of completing the erection now in progress of a great National Monument to the memory of Washington at the seat of the Federal Government." 1865 In the U.S., Tennessee adopted a new constitution that abolished slavery. 1879 In Utica, NY, Frank W. Woolworth opened his first 5 and 10-cent store. 1885 The Washington Monument was officially dedicated in Washington, DC. It opened to the public in 1889. 1920 The first dog race track to use an imitation rabbit opened in Emeryville, CA. 1923 The first successful chinchilla farm opened in Los Angeles, CA. It was the first farm of its kind in the U.S. 1924 U.S. President Calvin Coolidge delivered the first presidential radio broadcast from the White House. 1973 The U.S. and Communist China agreed to establish liaison offices. 1984 The U.S. Census Bureau statistics showed that the state of Alaska was the fastest growing state of the decade with an increase in population of 19.2 percent. 1994 The U.S. Justice Department charged Aldrich Ames and his wife with selling national secrets to the Soviet Union. Ames was later convicted to life in prison. Ames' wife received a 5-year prison term. 1997 Scottish scientist Ian Wilmut and colleagues announced that an adult sheep had been successfully cloned. Dolly was actually born on July 5, 1996. Dolly was the first mammal to have been successfully cloned from an adult cell. 2002 In the Philippines, An MH-47E Chinook helicopter crashed into the ocean. All 10 men aboard were killed. 2020 Do smiled. |
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