Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, October 14 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Boyfriend Battered After Sex Rejection _____________________________________________________ Today, October 14 in 1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis began. It was on this day that U.S. intelligence personnel analyzing data discovered Soviet medium- range missile sites in Cuba. On October 22 U.S. President John F. Kennedy announced that he had ordered the naval "quarantine" of Cuba. _____________________________________________________ The whole world is a series of miracles, but were so used to them we call them ordinary things. --- Hans Christian Anderson 1805-1875 _____________________________________________________ Bernie had never been on a deep-sea fishing boat before, and he was now thinking it was the stupidest thing he'd ever done in his life. Who would ever have believed that seasickness could be this awful? With every pitch and roll, Bernie wondered how he was going to survive the remaining two hours of the trip. One of the deckhands came up to him and said, "Don't worry, young fella. Nobody ever died of seasickness." "Oh noooo!!" Bernie wailed... "You've just taken away my last hope for relief!" _____________________________________________________   Roseate Spoonbill Steven Blandin ___________________________________________________ YOU KNOW YOU'RE TRAILER TRASH WHEN The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night. Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people". You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. Someone in your family died right after saying: "Hey watch this." You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. Your junior prom had a daycare. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines." You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. One of your kids was born on a pool table. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it. You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is drunk. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs. Your whole family went to the "dental express" at one time to get all their teeth pulled. ___________________________________________________  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Katanya Jordan, 46, Largo, Florida USA 
 Boyfriend Battered After Sex Rejection 
 A Florida Woman is behind bars for allegedly attacking her 69-year- old boyfriend after he refused to perform an oral sex act on her, police report. According to cops, Katanya Jordan, 46, was arrested following a 3 AM disturbance yesterday inside the Largo residence she shares with the victim, Jordans longtime boyfriend. The man told police that he had been arguing with Jordan in reference to her, the defendant, smoking crack. Jordan, the man charged, was high and began yelling at him to perform oral sex. The victim, however, declined Jordans request, prompting her to allegedly begin hitting and scratching him. The man, cops noted, sustained several small lacerations which appeared to have been caused by fingernails. A witness corroborated the victims account of the confrontation, according to an arrest affidavit. Pictured above, Jordan fled the residence before cops arrived, but she was apprehended with the aid of K-9 tracking units. Jordan claimed that she had defended herself after being choked by her boyfriend. Jordan was charged with felony domestic battery, as well as grand theft for allegedly stealing the victims cellphone. She is being held in the county jail on $12,500 bond. Court records show that Jordans rap sheet includes convictions for aggravated assault; welfare fraud; cocaine possession; battery; theft; grand theft; obstruction; trespassing; marijuana possession; violating an order of protection; and possession of drug paraphernalia. Additionally, in separate incidents, Jordan has been arrested for striking her pregnant daughter, hitting her brother-in-law in the head with a thrown iron, and smacking her boyfriend (the same man identified as the victim in the current case) with a glass vase. In those three matters, prosecutors declined to pursue charges against Jordan.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Fran RE: Skype for networking   Dear Webby, You sorta mentioned that Skype would work for intercontinental networking. WOW! How does that work? Fran  Dear Fran Remember when Microsoft bought Skype for twice the amount that Trump's border wall costs? Networking between W10 machines works like Skype, with the label scratched off, and limited to your office. You push files to a virtual machine, and the other side can pull them down from there. The only remaining difference is that with Skype it is quite OK if some of the machines use W7 or Vista or XP. For W10 Skype has been klutzyfied a bit, but it still works. You can text chat, talk, video chat, and drag files of any kind onto it. It is not as smooth and slick as an XP or Vista or W7 home network, but way better than what W10 has for it's clumsy network substitute. With Skype, of course, the other machines can be on different continents, no need to be in the same office. Zoom works too, with better video and file sharing. However, because it does so many things, and does them well, it does require a bit of instructions reading. I will definitely spend 10 - 15 minutes a day getting familiar with Zoom. If you have Zoom, my handle is, of course dearwebby@webby.com Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 Face it, you will have to go outside eventually. Sure, Amazon.com will deliver right to your door and now even Taco Bell does deliveries, but, mark my words: some day you're going to HAVE to push away from the computer and go... OUTSIDE. Scary, I know, but to assist you with the basics, here's a guide: 1. Wear pants or a skirt Countless attempts to better oneself have been cut tragically short by leaving the house without proper attire. 2. Use Your Real Name - Sorry, but nobody will be impressed if you go by the name "2HOT4U", "Monarch" or SATAN666." Names like "Steve" or Greg" or "Peggy" are just fine. 3.The Telephone is Your Friend Hear that ringing sound? Pick up the phone. Now speak into it. 4. If Your Car Crashes, You Cannot Simply Reboot It. 5. Do Not Be Surprised That Nobody Looks Like Gillian Anderson. 6. Do Not Flame People - Comparing everyone you disagree with to unclean primates will not win you friends. In fact, you may get into a physical fight. If so, the next tip may be of help. 7. That Red Stuff is Called Blood - Not to be confused with ketchup, blood is what keeps you alive. If you are leaking, the real world offers human tech support in the form of doctors and hospitals. ____________________________________________ Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard Time, Bob inquired at the Indianapolis airport about a plane to Chicago. "The next flight leaves at 1:00 p.m.," a ticket agent said, "and arrives in Chicago at 1:01 p.m." "Would you repeat that, please?" Bob asked. The agent did so and then inquired, "Do you want a reservation?" "No," said Bob, "But I think I'll hang around and watch that thing take off." ---------- WestJet flights from here, Calgary, Alberta, to Vancouver, BC, usually arrive half an hour before they take off. ____________________________________________ >From Donny I was at my bank to make a deposit when the clerk behind the counter turned to the computer for information. As she touched a button, a small part suddenly flew off the machine. All sorts of odd symbols started flashing across the screen. I heard her gasp, and then she turned to me in wide-eyed wonder and exclaimed, "It's swearing at me!" ____________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today October 14 in 1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of England. 1879 Thomas Edison signed an agreement with Jose D. Husbands for the sale of Edison telephones in Chile. 1887 Thomas Edison and George E. Gouraud reached an agreement for the international marketing rights for the phonograph. 1888 In England, Louis Le Prince filmed the experimental film "Roundhay Garden Scene." It is the oldest surviving motion picture. 1912 Theodore Roosevelt was shot while campaigning in Milwaukee, WI. Roosevelt's wound in the chest was not serious and he continued with his planned speech. William Schrenk was captured at the scene of the shooting. 1933 Nazi Germany announced that it was withdrawing from the League of Nations. 1936 The first SSB (Social Security Board) office opened in Austin, TX. From this point, the Board's local office took over the assigning of Social Security Numbers. 1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel committed suicide rather than face execution after being accused of conspiring against Adolf Hitler and the execution that would follow. 1944 During World War II, the Second British Parachute Brigade liberated the city of Athens. 1947 Over Rogers Dry Lake in Southern California, pilot Chuck Yeager flew the Bell X-1 rocket plane and became the first Americaan to break the sound barrier. 1954 C.B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments", starring Charlton Heston, began filming in Egypt. The epic had a cast of 25,000 people. 1960 U.S. presidential candidate John F. Kennedy first suggested the idea of a Peace Corps. 1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis began. It was on this day that U.S. intelligence personnel analyzing data discovered Soviet medium- range missile sites in Cuba. On October 22 U.S. President John F. Kennedy announced that he had ordered the naval "quarantine" of Cuba. 1964 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his non-violent resistance to racial prejudice in America. He was the youngest person to receive the award. 1968 The first live telecast to come from a manned U.S. spacecraft was transmitted from Apollo 7. 1970 Anwar el-Sadat became president of Egypt following the death of President Nasser. 1972 In Iraq, oil was struck for the first time just north of Kirkuk. 1986 Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev charged that the U.S. wanted to "bleed the Soviet Union economically" with the arms race in space. 1987 Jessica McClure, 18 months old, fell down an abandoned well in Midland, TX. The rescue took 58 hours. 2002 Britain stripped power from the Catholic and Protestant politicians of Northern Ireland. Britain resumed sole responsibility for running Northern Ireland. 2020 Do smiled. 
 

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