Humor: Sort and weed out files

8 dagen geleden


Text only:

 Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Again voted Best Newsletter
Clean humor and tech tips, updated daily! The Dear Webby Humor Letter is still
the best Humor Newsletter and is available in regular HTML and large font
HTML for vision impaired readers. The Dear Webby Humor newsletter is sent from a
server that has a Listed Sender ID, proper SPF record, and matching forward and reverse DNS. It has an approved privacy policy and full contact information. The Dear Webby Humor Letter is strictly Double Opt-In and is not on any blacklist. No advertising mails are sent from this address or IP number. If you are not receiving your subscription, click here.
Hosting | Software | Contacts | Privacy
Policy
| About
You
have a friend @Webby!
High
traffic web space on reliable UNIX and Linux servers with the fastest connectivity.
Regular HTML version    Click
here for Large
Print
  Subscribe   |   Unsubscribe
|  To write to me: DearWebby@webby.com
 
Good Morning, Do,
Today is Saturday, September 16
Have Fun!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, Sept 16 in
1400 Owain Glyndwr was proclaimed Prince of Wales after
rebelling against English rule. He was the last Welsh-born
Prince of Wales.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!


______________________________________________________
The grass is always greener once you don't have
to mow a lawn anymore.
--- Randy K. Milholland
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband
always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.
"Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did.
"Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning,
and from my bed, I called out, 'Is that you, Jim ?' And that
cured him."
"Cured him?" asked the woman, "but how ?"
The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________
Thanks to Marion for this story:
Three men died and went to heaven. St. Peter met them at
the pearly gates and told the men that they would would
each receive a car to drive. The only draw back was that
they did not get to pick out the car they wanted, it was
determined on how well they behaved on earth.
St. Peter asked the first guy if he had ever cheated on his
wife and he said, "Yes, I'm afraid I did one time."
St. Peter told him that he would get a mid-size car to drive
in heaven since he had cheated on his wife.
St. Peter asked the second guy if he had cheated on his
wife. "Yes, I'm afraid that I did twice during the time we
were married," replied the second man.
St. Peter told him that he would receive a compact car to
drive in heaven.
The third man was asked the same question and he replied,
"No I am happy to report that I was happily married and
never cheated on my wife!"
St. Peter congratulated him and gave him a luxury car to
drive in heaven.
One day the first two men saw the man in the luxury car
crying at a stop light and asked him why he was crying.
After all he had gotten a luxury car.
He replied, "I just saw my wife go by, and she was on
a skate board with the front wheels missing!"
______________________________________________________


_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
Reported by the Bausell Sailor
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by
Victor Walter Apeler, 46
Blake Lee Waller, 42,
Jacksonville,
Florida
Florida men caught hauling away stolen power
pole atop Kia
Perhaps the alleged thieves thought no one would believe
that the massive item on top of their van was stolen.
Needless to say, their plans to steal a 30-foot power pole
didn't go as planned. The Jacksonville Sheriff's Office
(JSO) in Florida arrested two men on Wednesday for trying to
steal the essential item. Apparently, a resident helped spot
the oddity and called the police.
In the photo posted by JSO, it looks as if the men tried
tying the pole to the top of their vehicle - not obvious at
all.
The Florida Times-Union reported that the pole apparently
came from a bridge over the Intracoastal Waterway. In fact,
an officer heading to the scene spotted the hole from which
the large metal item was stolen. One of the men who had
been placed under arrest said the pole was lying in the road
and he was just trying to move it out of the way.
However, he had no answer for police when they asked why he
didn't just roll it to the side.
The suspects have since been identified as 42-year-old Blake
Lee Waller and 46-year-old Victor Walter Apeler. And
further investigation may have revealed their true goal for
the power pole.
The newspaper reported that Apeler had completed 73 pawn
transactions so far in the year - all but one of them
dealing in scrap metal. The pole itself has an estimated
value of $2,500.
Both men now face charges of grand theft.
_________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Daniel
Re: Sort, delete files
Dear Webby,
is there a way to view files/folders and delete
the one's you don't want?
thanks,
daniel
Dear Daniel
Right-click on START
select EXPLORE
Once you are in there, click on
TOOLS
FOLDER OPTIONS
In TASKS, select Windows Classic Folders.
Hit OK
Click on FOLDERS to split the screen with folders on the
left and files on the right.
Now you can select the folders on the left, and whichever
one you got highlighted, has it's files shown on the right.
When you double-click a file on the right, it opens.
Hitting delete on a highlighted file, deletes it.
You can also drag files to any of the folders shown on
the left.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Going to the front desk of New York's exclusive Pierre
Hotel, Mr. Mendelbaum requested some stationery.
The clerk asked, "Are you a guest at the hotel?"
Mr. Mendelbaum snapped indignantly, "No, I am not a guest.
I am paying $300 a day!"
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Banana Peel for Headache
To get rid of a headache, place half of a banana peel across
your forehead/temples and the other half, press against the
back of your neck. Lay back and relax and watch your
headache disappear!
By Sheri S. from Macomb, MI
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________


Redneck windshield washer
____________________________________________________
Minister, after listening to an impromptu campaign speech,
"Before I vote for you for sheriff, I'd like to know if you
partake of intoxicating beverages?"
Candidate for sheriff, "Before I answer, tell me if this is
an inquiry or an invitation."
__________________________________________________
Got myself a chalkboard leg and went on a trip
___________________________________________________
PATIENT REPORTS
The following quotes are reported to have been taken from
actual medical records as dictated by physicians...
* By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped,
and he was feeling better.
* Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for
over a year.
* On the second day the knee was better and on the third
day it had completely disappeared.
* The patient has been depressed ever since she began
seeing me in 1983.
* Patient was released to outpatient department without
dressing.
* I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing,
and then when he stands with the help of his wife, they
should fall to the floor.
* The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will
get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
* Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally
alert but forgetful.
* The patient refused an autopsy.
* The patient has no past history of suicides.
* The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
* Patient has left his white blood cells at another
hospital.
* The patient's past medical history has been remarkably
insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past
three days.
* She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in
separate directions in early December.
* The patient left the hospital feeling much better except
for her original complaints.
* The patient was in his usual state of good health until
his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
* She is numb from her toes down.
* The skin was moist and dry.
* Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
* Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
* Patient was alert and unresponsive.
* When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
Ophelia Dingbatter's
News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes
and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you
subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
From Donna
In my opinion you are one of God's angels. At 77 years of
age, it's lovely to have a friend like you to visit each
morning. Blessings on you.
Donna
___________________________________________
Today, Sept 16, in
1400 Owain Glyndwr was proclaimed Prince of Wales after
rebelling against English rule. He was the last Welsh-born
Prince of Wales.
1620 The Mayflower departed from Plymouth, England. The ship
arrived at Provincetown, MA, on November 21st and then at
Plymouth, MA, on December 26th. There were 102 passengers
onboard.
1630 The village of Shawmut changed its name to Boston.
1782 The Great Seal of the United States was impressed on
document to negotiate a prisoner of war agreement with the
British. It was the first official use of the impression.
1810 The Mexicans began a revolt against Spanish rule.
Miguel Hidalgo y Costilla, a Catholic priest of Spanish
descent, declared Mexico's independence from Spain in the
small town of Dolores.
1893 The "Cherokee Strip" in Oklahoma was swarmed by
hundreds of thousands of settlers.
1908 General Motors was founded by William Crapo "Billy"
Durant. The company was formed by merging the Buick and Olds
car companies.
1940 U.S. President Roosevelt signed into law the Selective
Training and Service Act, which set up the first peacetime
military draft in U.S. history.
1953 "The Robe" premiered at the Roxy Theater in New York.
It was the first movie filmed in the wide screen CinemaScope
process.
1953 The St. Louis Browns of the American League were given
permission to move to Baltimore, MD, where they became the
Baltimore Orioles.
1974 U.S. President Ford announced a conditional amnesty
program for draft-evaders and deserters during the Vietnam
War.
1976 The Episcopal Church formally approved women to be
ordained as priests and bishops.
1982 In west Beirut, the massacre of hundreds of Palestinian
men, women and children began in refugee camps of the
Lebanese Christian militiamen.
1985 The Communist Party in China announced changes in
leadership that were designed to bring younger officials
into power.
1987 The Montreal Protocol was signed by 24 countries in an
effort to save the Earth's ozone layer by reducing emissions
of harmful chemicals by the year 2000.
1990 An eight-minute videotape of an address by U.S.
President George H.W. Bush was shown on Iraqi television.
The message warned that action of Saddam Hussein could
plunge them into a war "against the world."
1994 Exxon Corporation was ordered by federal jury to pay $5
billion in punitive damages to the people harmed by the 1989
Exxon Valdez spill.
1994 Two astronauts from the space shuttle Discovery went on
the first untethered spacewalk in 10 years.
1998 Universal paid $9 million for the rights to the Dr.
Seuss classics "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and "Oh, the
Places You'll Go."
2017 Do smiled.
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!


Go to TOP
Well,
Do
, that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your
favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and
greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend,
but don't
have time to subscribe her or him,
just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you
and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift
subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at
http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
newsletter@newslettercollector.com
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion
Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter
.
Search the web for:
  Recommended Resources  


Find a human
Bypass voice menus

Web Tools

handy program downloads

SPAM CONTROL made Easy!
Click here for a FREE
30 day trial

This is the Mail Washer that I use and have
used
for over 10 years. I have tested many
others, but Mail Washer
is still The Best
spam control

Crap Cleaner
Safely get rid of
tons
of useless crap left over from
old, obsolete
updates, temp files, lost
file fragments, etc.
STILL FREE
http://www.domyessay.net does not pay their invoices
Babelfish Translator
Converter
Urban Legends
Truth or Hoax?
Check before believing chain letters
Great tool for getting rid of
spy-ware and mal-ware.
Still FREE

Virus Hoaxes
Virus / Trojan / Malware Info
Straight from McAfee Threat Center
   FREE HTML
Course
!   
Get the REAL McAfee
at incredible discount!
used and
Highly recommended
by Dear Webby
This Undeleter will easily and securely recover deleted files
from hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives,
Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more.
This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files
from most data loss scenarios.

Is your data worth recovery?

SmartFix The ONLY Registry Fixer, that I recommend!
All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included:
Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry,
Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc.
Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price!
Roboform,
still the best password manager.
Still FREE
 
Highly recommended by DearWebby
FREE, no fuss download!
Domain
Name
registration:
Discuss your needs first, don't just register a name, that might not be good for you! Ask DearWebby first. That will save you a lot of money!

 YOUR
OWN
Postcard Site !
You too can easily have a postcard site
for business or fun.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily
Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Cumuli Ezine Finder:
Etiquette
To Get Read

Ebook with power tips
for effective writing,
by DearWebby


Ads are $50 per month for subscribers only.
$60 per month for anybody else.


Dear Bubba
All is forgiven. I still love you. Please come back!
Ps. Congratulations on your lottery win!
Your Betty-Sue
That could be YOUR ad for $50 per week.
Subscribers only!


Nudist Colony of Alberta
Closed for the season

Space Weather

Solar storms, Auroras
Thesaurus
NASA
Multimedia Gallery


Sky Map
: the interactive planetarium of the Web

Sky Watch
: Calendar of celestial events

Weather Underground

Maps and Satellite

Click a meal
to a homeless vet!

HungerSite

A free click donates a cup of food to a hungry person.
The number of mammograms donated thanks to clicks has dropped quite noticeably
when these two ladies went away. So here they are back, working hard to get
you to click. Donate by clicking on them!

BreastCancer
Site

A free click helps to donate mammograms to
women who can not afford one.
Feed the Animals!
Animal
Rescue

Do, Please Feed Dear Webby!
 Privacy
Policy

Unique visitors since 1/1/11
Have FUN
Dear Webby
CEO of Webby, Inc
DearWebby @ webby.com
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada
Subscribe    |   Give
a Gift Subscription
   |   Unsubscribe
Click here
for Large
Print

Go to TOP

Home


Help


Hosting


Privacy


Software


Contacts


Map


About


Humor

You have a friend
@Webby !
 
Copyright © 1995-2014 Webby, Inc.
on server
# 30 EHC60084
You can un-subscribe from this list by clicking this link:
http://webby.com/magiclist/index.cgi?act=u&l=humor2&email=newsletter@newslettercollector.com

Webby.com

Categorieën: Humor
Leeftijd: 7 t/m 13 jaar 14 t/m 18 jaar 19 t/m 30 jaar 31 t/m 64 jaar 65 jaar en ouder

Deel deze nieuwsbrief op

© 2017