Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, August 10 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Donald Duck received the 2,257th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce has decided to permanently remove Donald Trump's star since they are strictly a Mickey Mouse outfit, and unhappy about the people electing Donald Trump instead of Broom Hilda. Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Virginia man arrested for robbery had 2 year old oddler son with him Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, August 10 in 1885 The first electric streetcar, to be used commercially, was operated in Baltimore, MD, by Leo Daft. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
People can have the Model T in any colour-- so long as it's black. --- Henry Ford (1863 - 1947) Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule. --- Stephen King (1947 - ) ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Rubye for this story: Please excuse the rough language in the following story... I would have deleted them, but the story wouldn't be the same. A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well,"said her mother,"so how was the honeymoon?" Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before!I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home..., "PLEASE MAMA!" "Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful WHAT 4-letter words?" "Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!" "Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!" Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama..., he used words like: dust, wash, iron, and cook..." "Oy, what a schmuck! I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ Three small boys were bragging about their fathers. The first boasted that his dad owned a farm. The second said his dad owned a factory. The third boy, a pastors son, replied: "That's nothin'. My dad owns hell." "No way," another boy scoffed. "How can a man own hell?" "Sure he can," the preacher's son said. "My mom told my grandma that them elders of our church gave it to him last night." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lundy Wayne Riley, 29, Newport News, Virginia Virginia man arrested for robbery had 2 year old oddler son with him A man has been charged after attempting a robbery with his two-year-old son with him during the incident, according to police. On August 5 around 3:30 a.m., police were dispatched to the All Auto Repairs shop located at 9412 Warwick Boulevard. At the same time, units were across the street at the 7- Eleven with a man in custody on attempted robbery charges. The owner of the auto shop said he had had a burglary alarm go off at his business and the front door had been smashed. Police said their investigation revealed the man in custody for robbery had attempted to burglarize the auto shop at 3 a.m. Police said he also tried to take the 7-Eleven clerk's car keys and assaulted a second person in an unsuccessful attempt to take his car keys as well. Police identified the man as 29-year-old Lundy Wayne Riley. They said he had his two-year-old son with him during the incidents. The young boy was not injured, police said. Riley was charged with Attempted Robbery, Burglary and Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor. From: Mindy Re: Excite.com Dear Webby, What's with all this spam coming from excite.com? Can't anything be done about it? Mindy Dear Mindy Excite seems to be spammer friendly. I simply trash all mail coming from excite.com, right on the server, unseen by anybody, automatically. If you don't have MailWasher, then tell your ISP to block all mail coming from excite.com. You never get any useful mail from an excite.com address anyway. Have FUN DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it to do over again. "Sure," she replied, "but not the same ones." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A teacher was giving a lesson on the blood circulation. "If I stood on my head, then the blood, as you know, would flow into my head and I would turn red in the face," she explained. "That's right," remarked one of the students. "Then why doesn't the blood flow into my feet when I'm standing upright in an ordinary position?" Do shouted, "That's because your feet are not empty!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Dirty Burner Rings Remove the rings from the stove. Place a paper towel that has been dampened with ammonia on top of each ring and put them in a plastic bag. Tie closed and let it sit outside overnight. The next day, open the bag outside, then wash the rings with a mild dish soap. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | The "Groom of Stool." The toilet duties of Dukes and Duchesses of England. |
___________________________________________________ An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died. But until now, she'd never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued. "You must take the loyalty oath first," responded the passport clerk. "Raise your right hand, please." The old gal raised her right hand. "Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?" was the first question. The little old lady's face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice, "Uhhh . . . all by myself?" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Are you interested in making $$$$ fast? Here's an incredibly simple way to do it, and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose! Try it now! Follow this simple procedure: 1) Hold down the shift key. 2) Hit the 4 key four times really quickly. ---------- Are you going to groan first, or forward it first? ____________________________________________________ | Today, August 10 in 1792 King Louis XVI was taken into custody by mobs during the French Revolution. He was executed the following January after being put on trial for treason. 1809 Ecuador began its fight for independence from Spain. 1846 The Smithsonian Institution was chartered by the U.S. Congress. The "Nation's Attic" was made possible by $500,000 given by scientist Joseph Smithson. 1859 In Boston, MA, the first milk inspectors were appointed. 1869 The motion picture projector was patented by O.B. Brown. 1881 Thomas Edison's exhibit opened the Paris Electrical Exhibition. 1885 The first electric streetcar, to be used commercially, was operated in Baltimore, MD, by Leo Daft. 1914 Austria-Hungary invaded Russia. 1927 Mount Rushmore was formally dedicated. The individual faces of the presidents were dedicated later. 1944 U.S. forces defeated the remaining Japanese resistance on Guam. 1945 The day after the atomic bombing of Nagasaki, Japan announced they would surrender. The only condition was that the status of Emperor Hirohito would remain unchanged. 1947 William Odom completed an around-the-world flight. He set the solo record by completing the flight in 73 hours and 5 minutes. 1948 On ABC, "Candid Camera" made its TV debut. The original title was "Candid Microphone." 1954 Construction began on the St. Lawrence Seaway. 1988 U.S. President Reagan signed a measure that provided $20,000 payments to Japanese-Americans who were interned by the U.S. government during World War II. 1994 U.S. President Clinton claimed presidential immunity when he asked a federal judge to dismiss, at least for the time being, a sexual harassment lawsuit filed by Paula Corbin Jones. 1995 Norma McCorvey, "Jane Roe" of the 1973 U.S. Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion, announced that she had joined the anti-abortion group Operation Rescue. 1999 Near an India-Pakistan border area an Indian fighter jet shot down a Pakistani naval aircraft. Sixteen people were killed. 2003 Ekaterina Dmitriev and Russian cosmonaut Yuri Malenchenko were married. Malenchenko was about 240 miles above the earth in the international space station. It was the first-ever marriage from space. 2004 Donald Duck received the 2,257th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Donald Trump's star was permanetly removed by the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce because he is not a Communist / Socialist. 2018 Do smiled. |
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