Good Morning, Do, Today is Thursday, October 20 Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida man robs salesman he knows at gunpoint, sends apology text. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 20, in 1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI. She was as influential on Europe as Queen Victoria was on England. See More of what happened on this day in history. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. --- Joseph Conrad (1857 - 1924) This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A mother traveled 2,000 miles to be with her only son on the day he was to receive his Air Force wings and also get married. "It was wonderful," she said later. "It isn't every day that a mother watches her son receive his wings in the morning and have them clipped in the evening." ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ A few years ago Bob went to visit his brother who was stationed in Germany. He assumed that enough Germans would speak English so that he could at least get around. But he found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket inspector on the train. He punched Bob's ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. Bob just nodded from time to time to show him that he was interested. When he had gone, an American woman soldier in the compartment leaned forward and asked Bob if he spoke German. "No," he confessed. "Then that explains," she said, "why you didn't bat an eyelid when he told you that you were on the wrong train going in the wrong direction." ______________________________________________________ >From FB ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Romelson Faustin, 20, Fort Myers, Floriduh Florida man robs salesman he knows at gunpoint, sends apology text. A Florida man was arrested on Wednesday after deputies said he robbed a car salesman at gunpoint and texted him about 45 minutes later with an apology. Romelson Faustin, 20, entered a Fort Myers-area car dealership on Wednesday with another man and held a gun at one of the salesmen, demanding his money, WINK reports. The salesman, Anthony Spinella, said he was familiar with Faustin as he had been making payments toward a car with the dealership since September. Police: Fla. man breaks grandma's hand over video game Spinella told WINK that after being robbed by Faustin, he received a text from the 20-year-old that said Bro, I was on Mollies, Im sorry. He just said give me the money thats in your pockets, Spinella said. So then he texted me about an hour 45 minutes later. Deputies said the man with Faustin got away with $400 in cash and was not in the car when authorities arrested Faustin later on Wednesday. He now faces felony charges of robbery with a firearm and possession of cocaine. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wilhelm Re: Spam laws Dear Webby, When are those new spam laws going to start working ? Since they became law, the spam in my mail has increased 20% ? I am gong NUTS! Wilhelm Dear Wilhelm You ARE nuts if you believe those laws will help you. They just legalize spam and protect the Senators and other spammers. Just get Mailwasher from the link on the side. Go ahead and get the PRO version. After that, slowly tune it by making filters against stuff that shows up frequently. Then enjoy dumping hundreds of spams every morning. Unread, hidden. You just see in the status line a cheery message like "823 emails hidden from list". Hit PROCESS or F6, and they have all gone to hell, unread. A nice way to start the day! Have FUN! DearWebby A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly towards him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, and in a more satisfying way than anybody has ever done it for you before, for $100 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint... my... house." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Inexpensive Stepping Stones .... By Helmut [9 Posts, 147 Comments] There is a much easier way to do that. Get a bag of ordinary ready-mix concrete and some chicken mesh. Peel the lawn where you want a step, round, heart shaped, like a Sasquatch imprint, whatever, and hammer the dirt below it nice and hard. Pour some ready mix into the hole. Use a planter trowel or mini shovel to mix it with some water, poke the chickenmesh down below the surface, agitate the mess a bit and smooth it. Yes, mix it right in the hole, no need for dirtying a separate mixing container! If you want, you can add marble or brick planter topping, and pat it in. As a kid in the 50's I wrote the date into one with small white pebbles. After an hour use a brush or broom and a bit of water to clean the topping, or to add a bit of texture to the concrete. Shield it from the sun with cardboard or scrap wood for a day or two. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
This one is from the days when Windows came on a stack of floppies instead of pre-installed at the factory in China. A polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong. Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer." Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide. Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?" Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized." Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?" Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down. 'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it?'" Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?" Customer: "After they were initialized, all the disks appeared to be blank. And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them. And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office Did I do something wrong?" | | dog stands on front legs to pee |
____________________________________________________ The young man was contrite as he confessed to his steady girl that he was seeing a therapist. "That's nothing." she replied. "I'm seeing a therapist, two engineers, a plumber and an electrician." ____________________________________________________ One Sunday afternoon, the Pastor's wife dropped into an easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tried!" Her husband looked over at her and said, "I had to conduct two special services last night, three today, and give a total of five sermons. Why are you so tired?" "Dearest," she replied, "I had to listen to all of them!" ____________________________________________________ | | I wouldn't mind a long stay in this hotel surrounded by such beautiful scenery. |
____________________________________________________ | Today on October 20 in 1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI. 1774 The new Continental Congress, the governing body of Americas colonies, passed an order proclaiming that all citizens of the colonies "discountenance and discourage all horse racing and all kinds of gaming, cock fighting, exhibitions of shows, plays and other expensive diversions and entertainment." Buncha Fuddy-Duddies! 1803 The U.S. Senate approved the Louisiana Purchase. 1818 The U.S. and Great Britain established the boundary between the U.S. and Canada to be the 49th parallel. 1827 The Battle of Navarino took place during the Greek War for Independence. 1873 A Hippodrome was opened in New York City by showman Phineus T. (P.T.) Barnum. 1892 The city of Chicago dedicated the World's Columbian Exposition. 1903 A joint commission ruled in favor of the U.S. concerning a dispute over the boundary between Canada and the District of Alaska. 1910 A baseball with a cork center was used in a World Series game for the first time. 1935 Mao Zedong arrived in Hanoi after his Long March that took just over a year. He then set up the Chinese Communist Headquarters. 1942 Pierre Laval told the French labor that they must serve in Germany. 1944 Allied forces invaded the Philippines. 1944 During World War II, the Yugoslav cities of Belgrade and Dubrovnik were liberated. 1947 Hollywood came under scrutiny as the House Un-American Activities Committee opened hearings into alleged Communist influence within the motion picture industry. 1952 The Mau Mau uprising against white settlers began in Kenya. 1968 Jackie Lee Bouvier Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis. 1984 The U.S. State Department reduced the number of Americans assigned to the U.S. embassy in Beirut, Lebanon. 1993 Attorney General Janet Reno warned the TV industry to limit the violence in their programs. 1994 The website WhiteHouse.gov was launched. 1995 Britain, France and the U.S. announced a treaty that banned atomic blasts in the South Pacific. 2003 A 40-year-old man went over Niagara Falls without safety devices and survived. He was charged with illegally performing a stunt. 2009 European astronomers discover 32 exoplanets. 2016 Do smiled. |
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