Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, July 14 ___________________________________________________ Today, July 14 in  1868 Alvin J. Fellows patented the tape measure.  _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Child abuser kept punching toddler in the face until he died of his injuries  ______________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact. --- George Eliot (1819 - 1880) _____________________________________________________ >From Linda THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY THOMAS COOK VACATIONS FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS: 1. I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts. 2. Its lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during siesta time this should be banned. 3. On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I dont like spicy food. 4. We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price. 5. The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room. 6. We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand was white but it was more yellow. 7. They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax. 8. No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared. 9. Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers. 10. We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish. 11. The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun. 12. It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair. 13. I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller. 14. The brochure stated: No hairdressers at the resort. Were trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service. 15. There were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners. 16. We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning. 17. It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel. 18. I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes. 19. My fiance and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked. _____________________________________________________   Photo Jenn Taggart Waterton, AB ___________________________________________________ >From Irene I have changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables or "Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie." However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes. If you look in my freezer now you'll see a whole new set of labels. You'll find dinners with neat little tags that say: "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," "I Don't Care," "Something Good," or "Food." My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting. ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Michael Robinson, 23, Bronzefield, Chicago, Illinois USA 
 Child abuser kept punching toddler in the face until he died of his injuries 
 A child abuser killed a 23 month-old toddler by repeatedly punching the youngster in the face, police say. Michael Robinson, 23, allegedly battered Antwun Gayden to death at his home in Bronzefield, Chicago, on Tuesday. Antwun was rushed to hospital after being beaten, where he was pronounced dead. An autopsy confirmed his death as a homicide. Robinson has since been charged with the youngsters first-degree murder. He was arrested at the scene and is expected to appear before a court for a bail hearing Friday. Police have yet to explain Robinsons relationship to Antwun, or offer a motive for the toddlers killing, but did say that Robinson may have mental health issues'. Yeah, no kidding!  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Julie Re: Speed of money   Dear Webby, what is the fastest way to send money these days? To my grand kids. Maybe some day I'll even send some to you! Julie  Dear Julie Feel free to use me as a guinea pig! If you send ONE Dollar (or more) to me, you will get an instant and friendly "Thank You" letter from me. Usually PayPal is the fastest and has the least amount of hassles. Nowadays, they are a bit erratic. Second best is bank transfer. IF your bank account is set up for that. In that case, you log in to your bank account, click on SEND MONEY, enter the recipienmt's email address, like for example helmut@webby.com, the amount to transfer, and when to transfer it. The default is NOW, but you can put somebody's birthday into it. Then hit SEND. It will ask you to look at a summary and if you really want to send 3.4 Million bucks to Whatsisname. If the name and amount is correct, hit OK. Then it will send, and show you a summary to print. With PayPal the money usually shows up on the recipient's account within seconds. Bank Transfer usually take an hour or two, Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and said, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?" _____________________________________________ >From Eddie Having been married ten years and still living in an apartment,Having been married ten years and still living in an apartment, the wife would often complain about anything, as she was tired of saving every penny to buy a "dream home". Trying to placate her, the husband found a new apartment, within their budget. However, after the first week, she began complaining again. "Joel," she said, "I don't like this place at all. There are no curtains in the bathroom. The neighbors can see me every time I take a bath." "Don't worry." replied her husband. "If the neighbors do see you, THEY will buy curtains." --------------- Did you miss the big fight? ____________________________________________ Husband: Nancy and Mike make a perfect pair, don't you think? Wife: Yes, I do. He's a pill, and she's a headache. 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today July 14 in 1223 In France, Louis VIII succeeded his father, Philip Augustus. 1430 Joan of Arc, taken prisoner by the Burgundians in May, was handed over to Pierre Cauchon, the bishop of Beauvais. 1456 Hungarians defeated the Ottomans at the Battle of Belgrade. 1536 France and Portugal signed the naval treaty of Lyons, which aligned them against Spain. 1789 French Revolution began when Parisians stormed the Bastille prison and released the seven prisoners inside. 1798 The U.S. Congress passed the Sedition Act. The act made it a federal crime to write, publish, or utter false or malicious statements about the U.S. government. 1868 Alvin J. Fellows patented the tape measure. 1891 The primacy of Thomas Edison's lamp patents was upheld in the court decision Electric Light Company vs. U.S. Electric Lighting Company. 1900 European Allies retook Tientsin, China, from the rebelling Boxers. 1911 Harry N. Atwood landed an airplane on the lawn of the White House to accept an award from U.S. President William Taft. 1914 Robert H. Goddard patented liquid rocket-fuel. 1933 All German political parties except the Nazi Party were outlawed. 1940 A force of German Ju-88 bombers attacked Suez, Egypt, from bases in Crete. 1941 Vichy French Foreign Legionaries signed an armistice in Damascus, which allowed them to join the Free French Foreign Legion. 1945 American battleships and cruisers bombarded the Japanese home islands for the first time. 1946 Dr. Benjamin Spocks "The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care" was first published. 1951 The first sports event to be shown in color, on CBS- TV, was the Molly Pitcher Handicap at Oceanport, NJ. 1951 The George Washington Carver National Monument in Joplin, MO, became the first national park to honor an African American. 1958 The army of Iraq overthrew the monarchy. 1965 The American space probe Mariner 4 flew by Mars, and sent back photographs of the planet. 1998 Los Angeles sued 15 tobacco companies for $2.5 billion over the dangers of secondhand smoke. 2001 Beijing was awarded the 2008 Olympics. It was the first time that the China had been awarded the games. 2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 10 million applications downloaded. 2008 In Japan, construction began on the Tokyo Skytree tower. 2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.5 billion applications downloaded. 2015 NASA's New Horizons spacecraft became the first space mission to explore Pluto. 2020 Do smiled. 
 
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