Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, July 14 _____________________________________________________ Today, July 14 in 1946 Dr. Benjamin Spock's "The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care" was first published. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Serial pedophile gets 615 years jail for sexually abusing five girls ! ! ! ! _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music. --- Marcus Bridgstocke Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. --- Socratex _____________________________________________________ >Thanks to Linda for this one: One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Auburn." And they say blondes are dumb!!! ______________________________________________________` From Jeanne _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Raven Smith, 35, Houston County, Alabama Serial pedophile gets 615 years jail for sexually abusing five girls Raven Smith, 35, was sentenced on Wednesday after he pleaded guilty to numerous counts of rape, sodomy, and sexual abuse in Houston County, Alabama. In court, Smith apologized to the families of his victims, but they showed no mercy toward Smith when they took the stand demand he get the maximum sentence. Judge Todd Derrick ended up giving Jones the sentence after hearing an emotional plea from one of the girls' mothers. The mother, who remained unnamed, told WTVY: 'I can't believe what I said meant that much to a judge to punish this man the way I wanted him to be (punished).' Smith was sentenced shortly after the judge heard an emotional plea from a victim's mother. She also said she believes there are more young victims that have yet to come forward. According to authorities, all of Smith's victim's were under 16- years-old and his crimes began as far back as 2011. Because of the way the judge structured his ultra-long sentence, it is unlikely that Smith will ever get the chance at parole. Smith's lawyer said they plan to appeal the sentence. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Deryck Re: Spreadsheets Dear Webby, I have been told that I need to get a spreadsheet and get good at using it. Which one do you recommend? Deryck Dear Deryck That depends entirely what you want to do with it. If you need to enter data from hotels and cyber cafes while away from your office or home computer, use the Google on-line spreadsheets http://spreadsheets.google.com/ It seems a bit awkward, if you are used to fast desktop spreadsheets, but with a bit of practise, you can cook up quite snazzy presentations with it. And they are on-line, ready for you when you get to the next computer. There are more on-line spreadsheets listed at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_online_spreadsheets , but it is doubtful that all of those will be as permanet as Google's spreadsheets. If you are always at the same computer, for basic accounting the Open Office CALC is fine, and free. Excel works as well, but is not free. Also try Libre Office Online Calc. Some people use it for trans- continental collaboration. Naturally, collaboration spreadsheets are much slower than off-line spreadsheets, because you depend on the speed of your partner in Turkmenistan, and whether she is actually working on the spreadsheet or has gone for lunch. If you are doing scientific work or enterprise accounting, then get Quattro Pro. It is part of the Corel Office suite. Unfortunately Corel is trying to kill off their office suite with totally ridiculus pricing. However, you can get older versions on eBay for $15 - $50. Look for Word Perfect Office Suite. There are no changes worth mentioning between an 8 year old Quattro Pro and the newest one, and once you got it, it's yours forever. Absolutely no problem transferring it to a new computer, if you have the CD. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. The little boy was caught swearing by his teacher. "Tyson," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear it?" "My daddy said it," he responded. "Well, that doesn't matter," she explained, "I don't want to hear that language in here again." After a moment, she thought she whispered aloud, "At least he doesn't know what it means." "I do, too," Tyson corrected. "It means the car won't start." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Sometimes... when you cry, no one sees your tears. Sometimes... when you are in pain, no one sees your hurt. Sometimes... when you are worried, no one sees your stress. Sometimes... when you are happy, no one sees your smile. But fart just ONE TIME...! ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Other Than Candy Treats A trip to the Dollar Store or office supply store can be good for treats that are not candy. Consider giving combs, pencils, erasers, colored pens or pencils, pony tail holders, coloring books instead of candy. Giving the money out ins coins instead of spending it on candy can also be done. thriftyfun.Com If you have a "Bulk Barn" in driving distance, then you can get dried fruit and / or nuts at unbelievably low prices. Kids, who like to experiment with cooking or camping will really love the dried soup mixes. A level teaspoon of Minestrone soup in a tin can of water heated up on a hot plate, engine manifold or the sun will make them Lifetime chef of the neighborhood. For a safe sun cooker hang a blackened regular veggie can with flower wire or string in the sun, and double up with an alu foil parabolic mirroe 6 inches behind it. Of course hot water from an electric tea kettle works just fine too. Just fill old spice or herb containers for small rain proof camping or yard cooking containers. Bulk Barn has over a dozen different powdered soups, every one as good or better than what you get at the best restaurants. To give you an idea of what they have, browse to http://www.bulkbarn.ca/en/Products Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ | | 29 of the Most Beautiful and Colorful Places on Earth |
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Bill for this story: A voice on the office loudspeaker announced: "We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will work pro- perly in case of emergency." My confidence in this safety precaution faded when the voice added: "If you are unable to hear this announcement, please contact us." ___________________________________________________ >From Mary After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it was out of gas. A passer-by told me there was a service station a half-mile away, so I took a gas can from the trunk and trudged the distance in the sweltering sun. The attendant filled my two-gallon can, and I lugged it back and poured the gas into the tank. But when I tried to unlock the car door, it wouldn't open. Just then, I noticed an identical old car parked a short distance away. That was my car; I had filled a stranger's gas tank. Wearily I walked back to the station. "You know," the atten- dant suggested helpfully, "instead of walking back and forth to fill the tank from the can, you could put a couple of gallons in the tank and then drive the car here." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Do's mother was having difficulty gulping down the birthday cake Do had made for her as a surprise. When she was finished, Do happily exclaimed, "I'm so glad you like it, Mommy. There should have been 32 candles on the cake, but they were all gone when I took it out of the oven." ___________________________________________________ | Today, July 14 in 1223 In France, Louis VIII succeeded his father, Philip Augustus. 1430 Joan of Arc, taken prisoner by the Burgundians in May, was handed over to Pierre Cauchon, the bishop of Beauvais. 1456 Hungarians defeated the Ottomans at the Battle of Belgrade. 1536 France and Portugal signed the naval treaty of Lyons, which aligned them against Spain. 1789 French Revolution began with Parisians stormed the Bastille prison and released the seven prisoners inside. 1798 The U.S. Congress passed the Sedition Act. The act made it a federal crime to write, publish, or utter false or malicious statements about the U.S. government. 1868 Alvin J. Fellows patented the tape measure. 1891 The primacy of Thomas Edison's lamp patents was upheld in the court decision Electric Light Company vs. U.S. Electric Lighting Company. 1900 European Allies retook Tientsin, China, from the rebelling Boxers. 1911 Harry N. Atwood landed an airplane on the lawn of the White House to accept an award from U.S. President William Taft. 1914 Robert H. Goddard patented liquid rocket-fuel. 1933 All German political parties except the Nazi Party were outlawed. 1940 A force of German Ju-88 bombers attacked Suez, Egypt, from bases in Crete. 1941 Vichy French Foreign Legionaries signed an armistice in Damascus, which allowed them to join the Free French Foreign Legion. 1945 American battleships and cruisers bombarded the Japanese home islands for the first time. 1946 Dr. Benjamin Spock's "The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care" was first published. 1951 The first sports event to be shown in color, on CBS-TV, was the Molly Pitcher Handicap at Oceanport, NJ. 1951 The George Washington Carver National Monument in Joplin, MO, became the first national park to honor an African American. 1958 The army of Iraq overthrew the monarchy. 1965 The American space probe Mariner 4 flew by Mars, and sent back photographs of the planet. 1998 Los Angeles sued 15 tobacco companies for $2.5 billion over the dangers of secondhand smoke. 2001 Beijing was awarded the 2008 Olympics. It was the first time that the China had been awarded the games. 2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 10 million applications downloaded. 2008 In Japan, construction began on the Tokyo Skytree tower. 2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.5 billion applications downloaded. 2015 NASA's New Horizons spacecraft became the first space mission to explore Pluto. 2019 Do smiled. |
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