Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, August 1 6 murders in Baltimore since Friday, 38 for July, 196 for 2019 22% higher than 2018 6 shootings since Friday, 80 for July, 437 for 2019 30% higher than 2018#cityincrisis Baltimore City FOP (@FOP3) July 29, 2019 _____________________________________________________ Today, August 1 in 1774 Oxygen was isolated from air successfully by chemist Carl Wilhelm and scientist Joseph Priestly. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Amazon delivery driver stole dog from Texas family's yard then tried to sell it online _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. --- Cato the Elder (234 BC - 149 BC) _____________________________________________________ Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband." ______________________________________________________` Silver Eared Mesa _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mycah Keyona Wade, 22, Crowley, Texas Amazon delivery driver stole dog from Texas family's yard then tried to sell it online An Amazon delivery driver has been taken into custody after allegedly stealing a dog from a Texas family's front yard and then seeking to to sell the animal online for $70, authorities said. Mycah Keyona Wade, 22, of Crowley, surrendered to deputies in Parker County on July 16 after Amanda and Anthony Phillips reported their 2-year-old dachshund stolen from their front yard in Brock over the July Fourth holiday weekend, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported. Wade and her boyfriend were dropping off packages on July 5 when they spotted the pup. Wade hopped out of a van and grabbed the dog, Parker County Deputy Danie Huffman told the media outlet. A landscaper working nearby pointed to the couple's home when Wade asked who owned the dog, but she and her boyfriend left with the family pet instead of leaving him there, Huffman said. Wade and her boyfriend, who was not charged in the incident, allegedly were caught taking the dog on a neighbor's doorbell security camera after the dog had earlier escaped from the couple's home and run away. Wade was working as a contract driver for Amazon at the time and has confessed to the theft. Both she and her boyfriend have since been fired, the Cleburne Times-Review reported. 'This does not reflect the high standards we have for delivery service partners,' Amazon said in a released statement. 'We're glad the customer has been reunited with their pet, and we have been in touch with them to make it right.' Investigators said they found a Craigslist ad featuring the dog after the theft. 'There was no contact information, but we're pretty sure it was the stolen dog that was for sale on Craigslist for $100,' Parker County sheriff's property crimes investigator Ethan Stark told the Weatherford Democrat. 'The ad immediately changed once I contacted the suspect.' Stark declined to discuss the case when reached Monday, referring additional questions to Sheriff Larry Fowler, who did not immediately return a call seeking comment. Wade eventually dropped the asking price to $70 as she 'desperately' sought to offload the stolen dog. 'Within a couple hours of the ad going up, the price dropped to $70,' Phillips told via the nypost. 'And then they took the post down.' Phillips then got in touch with deputies who coordinated with Amazon, which helped them identify Wade and her boyfriend. The couple were re-united with their stolen dog four days later on July 9. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From Samantha Re: Stationary background Dear Webby, How do I make the background of a page stationary, and have only the text scroll? Thanks Samantha Dear Samantha To do it is easy: body bgproperties="fixed" background="image-name.jpg" However, it is very silly and not helpful. The eye uses cues in the background to line up the line to line jumps. By messing that up, you decrease readability. Especially with long lines of text, it gets rather difficult to read if you use that silly stunt. The only time it COULD make sense, is when you use a wide left margin and a narrow text column, and have a map or a diagram in the background picture so that it appears in the left sidemargin, and stays put. Unless you really need something like that, it's best to avoid silly tricks like that and focus on readability. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A guy was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. The new guy was a wreck, pale, hands shaking, biting his nails and moaning in fear. "Hey, pal, what's the matter?" said the first guy. "OmiGod.... I've been transferred to Los Angeles, California," the second answered. "They've got race riots, drugs. The highest crime rate....." "Hold on," said the first. "I've been in L.A all my life, and its not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school and it's as safe as anywhere in the world." The second guy stopped shaking for a moment and said "Oh, thank God. I was worried to death, but if you live there and say it's ok, I'll take your word for it. .....What do you do for a living?" "Me?" said the first, "...I'm a tail gunner on a bread truck." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a minute?" "Why?" she asks. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife instantly appears out of nowhere." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Saving Money on Laundry Detergent You can save money by only using what you need. For example, if you are washing clothing that is not very soiled, you can usually get by using half as much laundry detergent as the manufacturer recommends. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | Terrifying Natural Phenomena Compilation |
___________________________________________________ The patient awakened after the operation to find herself in a room with all the blinds drawn. "Why are all the blinds closed?" she asked her doctor. "Well," the surgeon responded, "They're fighting a huge fire across the street, and we didn't want you to wake up and think the operation had failed." ___________________________________________________ An old Sailor and an old Marine were sitting at the VFW arguing about who'd had the tougher career. I did 30 years in the Corps, the Marine declared proudly, and fought in three of my country's wars. Fresh out of boot camp I hit the beach at Okinawa, clawed my way up the blood-soaked sand, and eventually took out an entire enemy machine gun nest with a single grenade. As a sergeant, I fought in Korea alongside General MacArthur. We pushed back the enemy inch by bloody inch all the way up to the Chinese border, always under a barrage of artillery and small arms fire. Finally, as a gunny sergeant, I did three consecutive combat tours in Vietnam. We humped through the mud and razor grass for 14 hours a day, plagued by rain and mosquitoes, ducking under sniper fire all day and mortar fire all night. In a firefight, we'd fire until our arms ached and our guns were empty, then we'd charge the enemy with bayonets! Ah, said the Sailor with a dismissive wave of his hand, all just easy shore duty, huh? ___________________________________________________ It was raining quite hard as Marine trainees assembled outdoors for a briefing. On a blackboard, the lieutenant instructor had prepared a detailed drawing of the tactics he wanted practiced. "Don't think we're going to call this off just because of a little rain," he said. Then he turned to the blackboard which had been washed clean. __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Jill was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the Insurance policy with the man at the Insurance Agency. During the discussion, she asked, "Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today and tomorrow he dies? What will I get?" The agent eyed her suspiciously and replied, "Probably 20 to life." ___________________________________________________ | Today, August 1 in 1498 Christopher Columbus landed on "Isla Santa" (Venezuela). 1774 Oxygen was isolated from air successfully by chemist Carl Wilhelm and scientist Joseph Priestly. 1790 The first U.S. census was completed with a total population of 3,929,214 recorded. The areas included were the present states of Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Vermont and Virginia 1834 Slavery was outlawed in the British empire with an emancipation bill. 1873 Andrew S. Hallidie successfully tested a cable car. The design was done for San Francisco, CA. 1893 Shredded wheat was patented by Henry Perky and William Ford. 1894 The first Sino-Japanese War erupted. The dispute was over control of Korea. 1907 The U.S. Army established an aeronautical division that later became the U.S. Air Force. 1914 Germany declared war on Russia after the beginning of World War I. 1936 Adolf Hitler presided over the Olympic games as they opened in Berlin. 1943 In the Solomon Islands, the U.S. Navy patrol torpedo boat PT- 109 sank after being hit by the Japanese destroyer Amagiri. The boat was under the command of Lt. John F. Kennedy. Eleven of the thirteen crew survived. 1944 In Warsaw, Poland, an uprising against Nazi occupation began. The revolt continued until October 2 when Polish forces surrendered. 1946 In the U.S., the Atomic Energy Commission was established. 1956 The Social Security Act was amended to provide benefits to disabled workers aged 50-64 and disabled adult children. 1957 The North American Air Defense Command (NORAD) was created by the United States and Canada. 1973 The movie "American Graffiti" opened. 1975 The Helsinki accords pledged the signatory nations to respect human rights. 1995 Westinghouse Electric Corporation announced a deal to buy CBS for $5.4 billion. 1998 The U.S. books and music chain Borders opens its first European outlet with a 40,000-square-foot store on London's Oxford Street. 2006 Cuban leader Fidel Castro turned over absolute power when he gave his brother Raul authority while he underwent an intestinal surgery. 2019 Do smiled. |
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