Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, October 28 ____________________________________________________ Today, October 28 in 1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: NY Brothers went back for meth-making gear, left grandmother to die in fatal Riverside fire _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. --- Doug Larson Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. --- Ambrose Bierce All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow. --- Evan Esar The true test of character is not how much we know how to do, but how we behave when we don't know what to do. --- John Holt _______________________________________________ It's official: Rap music does cause crime. Research shows that in over half the shootings that occur on the street, the gunman is aiming at the boombox. ________________________________________________` Liocichla, India ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jarrett Gause, Justin Gause, Riverside, New York. Brothers went back for meth-making gear, left grandmother in fatal Riverside fire According to Steuben County District Attorney Brooks Baker, Jarrett and Justin Gause are both being charged with second- degree murder in the death of 82-year-old Gladys Ann Willow. Baker tells WENY News Justin was initially arrested on a manslaughter charge, but that was upgraded to second-degree murder. Then, on October 14, Justin's brother Jarrett was indicted, also that same murder charge. Baker tells WENY News the two brothers allegedly went back to the Townsend Avenue home to recover the gear used to make meth, but they left Gladys Ann Willow, who was their grandmother, behind. Firefighters say Willow died of her injuries after being trapped in the burning home. Additionally, Baker says neither of the brothers reported the fire. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Brenda Re: Stationary top row in spreadsheet Dear Webby, You answered this question for me 25 years ago, when I was still in college and my professor did not know how to do it. The funny thing is, I remember that thanks to you I was able to be a smartie and show off, but I can't remember how to make that stationery header row. Please tell me again! Thanks Brenda Dear Brenda I remember you, but not what I told you 25 years ago. What kind of mischief are you up to these days? OK, to get a statioery top row, that does not scroll out of the way, click on the leftmost cell just BELOW the header row, that you want to freeze, Click on VIEW, Freeze Panes, Freeze Top Row. Yeah, I know it is abit klutzy, but it works reliably. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. The tourist was admiring the Native's necklace. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth," he replied. "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us." "Actually", he replied, "here the alligator hunters get paid more than the oyster cutters at the packing plant." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned 1-1/2 hours later with a bloody nose and a black eye. "Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asked. "No," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Removing a Broken Window Apply pieces of masking tape to the window in a crisscross pattern on both sides of the window. Then gently tap around the outer edge of the window with a hammer until the glass breaks out. The tape should help keep the window from shattering but be sure to wear protective gloves. ____________________________________________________ | | Ghost Busters Halloween Light Show |
___________________________________________________ A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it. "Not Gutenberg?" Gasped the collector. "Yes, that was it!""You idiot! You've thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at an auction for half a million dollars!" "Oh, I don't think this book would have been worth anything close to that much," replied the man. "It was scribbled all over in the margins by some guy named Martin Luther." ___________________________________________________ According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars. ___________________________________________________ A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. "Professionally employed?" he asked. "We're a military family," the wife answered. "Children?" "Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly. "Animals?" "Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, October 28 in 1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts. The original name was Court of Massachusetts Bay Colony. It was the first school of higher education in America. 1776 The Battle of White Plains took place during the American Revolutionary War. 1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin. 1886 The Statue of Liberty was dedicated in New York Harbor by U.S. President Cleveland. The statue weighs 225 tons and is 152 feet tall. It was originally known as "Liberty Enlightening the World." It had been made in France and donated to the USA. 1904 The St. Louis Police Department became the first to use fingerprinting. 1919 The U.S. Congress enacted the Volstead Act, also known as the National Prohibition Act. Prohibition was repealed in 1933 with the passing of the 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. 1922 Benito Mussolini took control of the Italian government and introduced fascism to Italy. 1936 The Statue of Liberty was rededicated by U.S. President Roosevelt on its 50th anniversary. 1940 During World War II, Italy invaded Greece. 1958 Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli was elected Pope. He took the name John XXIII. 1962 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev informed the U.S. that he had ordered the dismantling of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 1965 Pope Paul VI issued a decree absolving Jews of collective guilt for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. 1965 The Gateway Arch along the waterfront in St. Louis, MO, was completed. 1976 John D. Erlichman, a former aide to U.S. President Richard Nixon, entered a federal prison camp in Safford, AZ, to begin serving his sentence for Watergate-related convictions. 1985 John A. Walker Jr. and his son, Michael Lance Walker, pled guilty to charges of spying for the Soviet Union. 1986 The centennial of the Statue of Liberty was celebrated in New York. 1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French manufacturer that produces the abortion pill RU486, announced it would resume distribution of the drug after the government of France demanded it do so. 1990 Iraq announced that it was halting gasoline rationing. 1993 Ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, called for a complete blockade of Haiti to force out the military leaders. 1994 U.S. President Clinton visited Kuwait and implied that all the troops there would be home by Christmas. 2019 Do smiled. |
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