Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, March 23 Thank you, Margaret! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Teacher, who owns $960 K house, jailed for shoplifting ___________________________________________________ Today, March 23 in 1942 During World War II, the U.S. government began evacuating Japanese-Americans from West Coast homes to detention centers. ____________________________________________________ Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf. --- Lewis Mumford (1895 - 1990) Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed. --- Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915) ____________________________________________________ An eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination whereupon the doctor said, "You are in fine shape for your age... but tell me.. do you still have intercourse?" "Just a minute ... I'll have to ask my husband," she said. She went out to the reception room and said: "Morris do we still have intercourse?" Morris answered impatiently..."If I told you once I told you a thousand times... We have Blue Cross!!" ____________________________________________________ Dear Webby, Thanks for always making my day, I sure enjoy the jokes. I just had to pass this one on to you, SUPPOSEDLY this was a true story that happened to my friend. One day a mother was talking to her little girl, who also had a younger brother and sister. The mother thought it was time to discuss the "birds and Bees" with her child. So while they were discussing this, the mother sort of got carried away and really got down to describing how a baby is conceived. The little girl stood there in amazement, and suddenly spoke up, "You mean you really did that three times?" Have a good day! John F. ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ During an Army war game a commanding officer's jeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck. "Sorry sir," said one of the loafers, "but we've been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn't contribute in any way." The C.O. turned to his driver and said, "Go drag a couple of those dead bodies over here and throw them under the wheels to give us some traction." __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Karen Berger, 44, Boca Raton, Florida, USA Teacher, who owns $960 K house, jailed for shoplifting The owner of a $960,000 home in the Lotus development near Lyons and Clint Moore is accused of shoplifting nearly $1000 worth of lighting from Home Depot in West Boca Raton. Karen Berger, 44, who is identified in a Palm Beach County Sheriffs Office report as a teacher, was jailed Thursday after Home Depot opted to prosecute the case. According to police, Karen Berger was seen entering the Home Depot through the main entrance. The subject then proceeded to the stores lighting fixtures department and selected two Swirl LED Chrome Mini valued at $99.97 each, one Keighley 36 LED Crystal Island valued at $219, one Essence Disk LED Integrated Chrome valued at $109. Then, Berger proceeded towards the front of the store where she went to aisle 8 and selected three moving boxes valued at $2.68 each. Then she proceeded out of aisle 8 and towards to self check out. (If you are reading in a news app and the police report does not appear below, use the read on the web button for full, free access). The police report continues: While in the self check out Berger scanned the three moving boxes valued at $8.04 total, and two Swirl LED Chrome Mini Pendant valued at $199.94 for both making a total purchase of $207.98. Berger did not attempt to scan and pay for the other lighting fixtures that were inside her shopping cart, depriving Home Depot of the amount of $756. Caught on camera, according to the report, Berger exited the store via the main exit with the unpaid merchandise where she was intercepted and brought back into the stores loss prevention office by the stores loss prevention investigators. The Home Depot would like to prosecute. Karen Berger is now charged with one count of Retail Grand Theft, according to police. She was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail at 3:10 Thursday afternoon. She was released on $1000 bond ironically, more than the amount of the alleged theft just after 10 p.m. Berger lives in the 8400 block of Apple Falls Lane in a home she paid $961,485 for in January of 2021, according to the Palm Beach County Property Appraiser. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Renee Re: Stealing pictures Dear Webby Quite often, when I try to copy a picture, the copying is blocked. That seems to be mainly by newspapers. I noticed that with the mug shots in the Bonehead Awards you successfully defeat that bloking. How do you do that? Renee Dear Renee In the top row of your keyboard there is a PrintScreen button. Sometimes it is abbreviated to PrtScren. Hit that, it prints not to the printer, like it used to in DOS or UNIX, but into memory. Jump to your graphics program, and hit CTRL V That pastes the saved picture of the page you were looing at. You will have to crop it, cut off the stuff around what you want, then save the cropped picture as a JPG or PNG file. That is all there is to it. After you have done it a couple of times, you will find it just as easy as right-click, copy. Have FUN! DearWebby A young man is an avid listener to the city's police frequency, and he leaves the scanner on all the time. One morning while making his bed, he heard the dispatcher say, "Car 34, there is a twenty-foot boa constrictor in the front yard of 27 Oak Street. The resident wants a policeman to come and remove it, but not to use shotguns or hand grenades, because there is a Kindergaten across the street." There was a long pause, then some static. Slowly, a voice said, "Looks like we have some engine trouble." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A Latin American tour guide was addressing a small group of senior citizens and telling them about the country they were visiting. When he asked if they had any questions, one person inquired, "What is the number one sport in this country?" "Bullfighting," the guide replied. The same person asked "Isn't that revolting?" "No," replied the tour guide. "That's number two!" ____________________________________________ The scene: The "E" train of the subway line in New York City. I was commuting from the Borough of Queens to my job in Manhattan. I'd finished reading the morning paper and was saving it to bring to friends on the job. How do you save a newspaper on the subway? You sit on it. A new commuter came in, saw the newspaper under my rear and asked the second most stupid question I've ever heard (someday I may tell of the first), "Are you reading that paper?" I stood up, turned the page, sat down on the paper and answered, "Yes. ____________________________________________ Bambi sidled up to a guest at the party. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said diffidently, "Doctor, may I ask a question?" "Certainly," he said. "Lately," said Bambi, "I have been having a funny pain right here above the heart..." The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Bambi, but the truth is, I'm a doctor of philosophy." "Oh," said Bambi, "I'm sorry!" She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back. "Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is philosophy?" ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ Today, March 23 in 1026 Koenraad II crowned himself king of Italy. 1490 The first dated edition of Maimonides "Mishna Torah" was published. 1657 France and England formed an alliance against Spain. 1775 American revolutionary Patrick Henry declared, "give me liberty, or give me death!" 1794 Josiah G. Pierson patented a rivet machine. 1806 Explorers Lewis and Clark, reached the Pacific coast, and began their return journey to the east. 1808 Napoleon's brother Joseph took the throne of Spain. 1835 Charles Darwin reached Los Arenales, in the Andes. 1836 The coin press was invented by Franklin Beale. 1839 The first recorded printed use of "OK" [oll korrect] occurred in Boston's Morning Post. 1840 The first successful photo of the Moon was taken. 1848 Hungary proclaimed its independence of Austria. 1857 Elisha Otis installed the first modern passenger elevator in a public building. It was at the corner of Broome Street and Broadway in New York City. 1858 Eleazer A. Gardner patented the cable streetcar. 1861 London's first tramcars began operations. 1880 John Stevens patented the grain crushing mill. The mill increased flour production by 70 percent. 1881 The Boers and Britain signed a peace accord ending the first Boer war. 1881 A gas lamp caused a fire in an opera house in Nice, France. 70 people were killed. 1889 U.S. President Harrison opened Oklahoma for white colonization. The "sooners" were already there. 1901 Dame Nellie Melba, revealed the secret of her now famous toast. 1901 It was learned that Boers were starving in British concentration camps in South Africa. 1901 Shots were fired at Privy Councilor Pobyedonostzev, who was considered to be Russia's most hated man. 1902 In Italy, the minimum legal working age was raised from 9 to 12 for boys and from 11 to 15 for girls. 1903 The Wright brothers obtained an airplane patent. 1903 U.S. troops were sent to Honduras to protect the American consulate during revolutionary activity. 1909 British Lt. Shackleton found the magnetic South Pole. 1912 The Dixie Cup was invented. 1917 Austrian Emperor Charles I made a peace proposal to French President Poincare. 1918 Lithuania proclaimed independence. 1919 Benito Mussolini founded his Fascist political movement in Milan, Italy. 1920 Britain denounced the U.S. because of their delay in joining the League of Nations. 1921 Arthur G. Hamilton set a new parachute record when he safely jumped from 24,400 feet. 1932 In the U.S., the Norris-LaGuardia Act established workers' right to strike. 1933 The German Reichstag adopted the Enabling Act. The act effectively granted Adolf Hitler dictatorial legislative powers. 1934 The U.S. Congress accepted the independence of the Philippines in 1945. 1936 Italy, Austria & Hungary signed the Pact of Rome. 1942 During World War II, the U.S. government began evacuating Japanese-Americans from West Coast homes to detention centers. 1951 U.S. paratroopers descended from flying boxcars in a surprise attack in Korea. 1956 Pakistan became the first Islamic republic. It was still within the British Commonwealth. 1956 Sudan became independent. 1957 The U.S. Army sold the last of its homing pigeons. 1965 America's first two-person space flight took off from Cape Kennedy with astronauts Virgil I. Grissom and John W. Young aboard. The craft was the Gemini 3. 1965 The Moroccan Army shot at demonstrators. About 100 people were killed. 1967 Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. called the Vietnam War the biggest obstacle to the civil rights movement. 1972 The U.S. called a halt to the peace talks on Vietnam being held in Paris. 1972 Evel Knievel broke 93 bones after successfully jumping 35 cars. 1980 The deposed shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, left Panama for Egypt. 1981 U.S. Supreme Court upheld a law making statutory rape a crime for men but not women. 1983 U.S. President Reagan first proposed development of technology to intercept enemy missiles. The proposal became known as the Strategic Defense Initiative and "Star Wars." 1983 Dr. Barney Clark died after 112 days with a permanent artificial heart. 1989 A 1,000-foot diameter asteroid missed Earth by about 430,000 miles. 1989 Two electrochemists, Stanley Pons and Martin Fleischman, announced that they had created nuclear fusion in a test tube at room temperature. 1990 Former Exxon Valdez Captain Joseph Hazelwood was ordered to help clean up Prince William Sound and pay $50,000 in restitution for the 1989 oil spill. 1993 U.N. experts announced that record ozone lows had been registered over a large area of the Western Hemisphere. 1994 Luis Donaldo Colosio, Mexico's leading presidential candidate, was assassinated in Tijuana. Mario Aburto Martinez was arrested at the scene and confessed to the killing. 1994 Wayne Gretzky broke Gordie Howe's National Hockey League (NHL) career record with his 802nd goal. 1996 Taiwan held its first democratic presidential elections. 1998 Germany's largest bank pledged $3.1 million to Jewish foundations as restitution for Nazi looting. 1998 Russian President Boris Yeltsin fired his Cabinet. 1998 The movie "Titanic" won 11 Oscars at the Academy Awards. 1998 The German company Bertelsmann AG agreed to purchase the American publisher Random House for $1.4 billion. The merger created the largest English-language book-publishing company in the world. 1999 NATO Secretary-General Javier Solana gave formal approval for air strikes against Serbian targets. 2001 Russia's orbiting Mir space station plunged into the South Pacific after its 15-years of use. 2021 Do smiled.
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