| Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, March 23, 2023 ___________________________________________________ History: on this day, March 23, in 1972 - Evel Knievel broke 93 bones after successfully jumping 35 cars. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: 2 Virginia inmates escape through hole in wall, captured at IHOP __________________________________________________ Q You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. --- Olin Miller You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. --- Olin Miller Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex Fear not those who argue but those who dodge. --- Marie Ebner von Eschenbach ________________________________________________ When I was working in the Piggly Wiggly all those years ago, I noticed the sexy little blonde who dashed into the store to pick up a few items. She marched right to my "Express Lane". I was on the phone doing a price check. In a huff, blondie said, "Excuse me, I'm in a hurry. Could you check me out?" Without missing a beat, I looked her up and down, and said, "Hmmm. Not bad." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ One day, an young lady is walking through a park when she hears a faint "help me, help me". She looks around and follows the quiet voice to a bush near the path. Looking under the bush she spies a little green frog trapped under a log. The girl moves the log and picks up the frog. "Oh, thank you, thank you" says the frog, "Take me home and put me on your pillow and in the morning I'll be a handsome Prince." So the girl takes the frog home and puts him on the pillow and there in the morning is a handsome young guy. Do, do you believe that? Her mother didn't either. _________________________________________________ A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for coronary surgery. The operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed. "Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," the nun said while patting his hand. "We do have to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?" "No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely. "Can you pay in cash?" "I'm afraid I can't, Sister." "Do you have any close relatives, then?" "Just my sister in New Mexico," replied, "but she's a spinster nun." "Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith," the nun replied. "They are married to God." "Okay," the man said with a smile, "in that case, send the bill to my brother-in-law." _________________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sending me this picture: Jenni Modar Northern Pygmy Owl March 2023 ________________________________________________ European Heaven is where: All the soldiers are British, All the wine is French, All the cars are German, All the lovers are Italian, The weather is Greek, And everything is organized by the Swiss. European Hell is where: All the soldiers are French, All the wine is German, All the cars are Greek, All the lovers are British, The weather is Swiss, And everything is organized by the Italians. ____________________________________________________ Pet Heaven: God turns to the dog and says "The Book of Life indicates that you have been a very good boy. But tell me, in your own words, what are your ultimate principles? What do you believe in?" The dog says "I believe in loyalty, companionship, and love. I have been a cherished part of my owners family for many years." God smiles. "Truly, you have a pure and loving heart. You shall sit at my right hand." He then turns to the parakeet. "What do you believe in?" "I believe in color, flamboyance, and music," the parakeet says. "For many years I have displayed my beautiful feathers and filled my owner's house with song." "Your beauty is truly magnificent," God says. "And your song shall echo through the universe. You shall sit at my left." God finally turns to the house cat. "And you, majestic little predator, what do you believe in?" The cat lazily surveys God's throne and says, "I believe you are in my seat." ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ A 16-year-old girl buys herself a very skimpy bikini. Modeling it for her mother, she asks: "So, Mom, what do you think?" Her mother replies, "I think that if I had worn that when I was your age, you'd be five years older!" ___________________________________________________ A fellow who was discussing his health with his doctor after his annual physical. "You had a great checkup," said the doc. "Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?" " Well," said the man, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy." "That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?" "Yeah, and they're in favor 17 to 2." __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by USA 2 Virginia inmates escape through hole in wall, captured at IHOP Two inmates managed to escape Monday through a hole in the wall, but are now back in custody. According to the Newport News Sheriffs Office, John Garza, 37, and Arley Nemo, 43, were discovered missing from their cell during an evening routine head count on March 20. After a preliminary investigation, officials discovered the two men exploited a construction design weakness, utilizing tools constructed from a toothbrush and metal object. This facilitated their access to untied reinforcing bars between the walls, which allowed them to get out. Once outside, but still within the containment wall, Garza and Nemo scaled the wall and escaped. Once outside, but still within the containment wall, Garza and Nemo scaled the wall and escaped. ___________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Bausell Sailor Re: Steel Straws Dear Webby plastic straws will get you thrown in jail in Mexifornia. I've been using the same stainless straws for years - tell your readers to go to Ebay sites and buy some --- Steel Straws Here are eight straws and 2 cleaning brushes for $6.00 USD Steel Straws Bausell Sailor Dear Sailor Most farmers sell bailes of strws for $2. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Today, March 23 in 1026 - Koenraad II crowned himself king of Italy. 1066 - The 18th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet took place. 1657 - France and England formed an alliance against Spain. 1775 - American revolutionary Patrick Henry declared, "give me liberty, or give me death!" 1794 - Josiah G. Pierson patented a rivet machine. 1806 - Explorers Lewis and Clark, reached the Pacific coast, and began their return journey to the east. 1808 - Napoleon's brother Joseph took the throne of Spain. 1835 - Charles Darwin reached Los Arenales, in the Andes. 1836 - The coin press was invented by Franklin Beale. 1839 - The first recorded printed use of "OK" [oll korrect] occurred in Boston's Morning Post. 1840 - The first successful photo of the Moon was taken. 1848 - Hungary proclaimed its independence of Austria. 1857 - Elisha Otis installed the first modern passenger elevator in a public building. It was at the corner of Broome Street and Broadway in New York City. 1858 - Eleazer A. Gardner patented the cable streetcar. 1861 - London's first tramcars began operations. 1880 - John Stevens patented the grain crushing mill. The mill increased flour production by 70 percent. 1881 - The Boers and Britain signed a peace accord ending the first Boer war. 1881 - A gas lamp caused a fire in an opera house in Nice, France. 70 people were killed. 1889 - U.S. President Harrison opened Oklahoma for white colonization. 1901 - Dame Nellie Melba, revealed the secret of her now famous toast. 1901 - It was learned that Boers were starving in British concentration camps in South Africa. 1901 - Shots were fired at Privy Councilor Pobyedonostzev, who was considered to be Russia's most hated man. 1902 - In Italy, the minimum legal working age was raised from 9 to 12 for boys and from 11 to 15 for girls. 1903 - The Wright brothers obtained an airplane patent. 1903 - U.S. troops were sent to Honduras to protect the American consulate during revolutionary activity. 1909 - British Lt. Shackleton found the magnetic South Pole. 1910 - In the Canary Islands, women offered candidates for legislative elections. 1912 - The Dixie Cup was invented. 1917 - Austrian Emperor Charles I made a peace proposal to French President Poincare. 1917 - In the Midwest U.S., four tornadoes kill 211 people over a four day period. 1918 - Lithuania proclaimed independence. 1919 - Benito Mussolini founded his Fascist political movement in Milan, Italy. 1920 - Britain denounced the U.S. because of their delay in joining the League of Nations. 1920 - The Perserikatan Communist of India (PKI) political party was formed. 1921 - Arthur G. Hamilton set a new parachute record when he safely jumped from 24,400 feet. 1932 - In the U.S., the Norris-LaGuardia Act established workers' right to strike. 1933 - The German Reichstag adopted the Enabling Act. The act effectively granted Adolf Hitler dictatorial legislative powers. 1934 - The U.S. Congress accepted the independence of the Philippines in 1945. 1936 - Italy, Austria & Hungary signed the Pact of Rome. 1937 - The L.A. Railway Co. started using PCC streetcars. 1940 - "Truth or Consequences" was heard on radio for the first time. 1942 - The Japanese occupy the Andaman Islands. 1942 - During World War II, the U.S. government began evacuating Japanese-Americans from West Coast homes to detention centers. 1951 - U.S. paratroopers descended from flying boxcars in a surprise attack in Korea. 1956 - Pakistan became the first Islamic republic. It was still within the British Commonwealth. 1957 - The U.S. Army sold the last of its homing pigeons. 1965 - America's first two-person space flight took off from Cape Kennedy with astronauts Virgil I. Grissom and John W. Young aboard. The craft was the Gemini 3. 1965 - The Moroccan Army shot at demonstrators. About 100 people were killed. 1967 - Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. called the Vietnam War the biggest obstacle to the civil rights movement. 1972 - The U.S. called a halt to the peace talks on Vietnam being held in Paris. 1972 - Evel Knievel broke 93 bones after successfully jumping 35 cars. 1980 - The deposed shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, left Panama for Egypt. 1981 - U.S. Supreme Court upheld a law making statutory rape a crime for men but not women. 1981 - CBS Television announced plans to reduce "Captain Kangaroo" to a 30-minute show each weekday morning. 1983 - U.S. President Reagan first proposed development of technology to intercept enemy missiles. The proposal became known as the Strategic Defense Initiative and "Star Wars." 1983 - Dr. Barney Clark died after 112 days with a permanent artificial heart. 1989 - A 1,000-foot diameter asteroid missed Earth by about 430,000 miles. 1989 - Two electrochemists, Stanley Pons and Martin Fleischman, announced that they had created nuclear fusion in a test tube at room temperature. 1990 - Former Exxon Valdez Captain Joseph Hazelwood was ordered to help clean up Prince William Sound and pay $50,000 in restitution for the 1989 oil spill. 1993 - U.N. experts announced that record ozone lows had been registered over a large area of the Western Hemisphere. 1994 - Wayne Gretzky broke Gordie Howe's National Hockey League (NHL) career record with his 802nd goal. 1998 - Germany's largest bank pledged $3.1 million to Jewish foundations as restitution for Nazi looting. 1998 - Russian President Boris Yeltsin fired his Cabinet. 1998 - The movie "Titanic" won 11 Oscars at the Academy Awards. 1998 - The German company Bertelsmann AG agreed to purchase the American publisher Random House for $1.4 billion. The merger created the largest English-language book-publishing company in the world. 1999 - NATO Secretary-General Javier Solana gave formal approval for air strikes against Serbian targets. 2001 - Russia's orbiting Mir space station plunged into the South Pacific after its 15-years of use. 2023, Do smiled.
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