Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, February 2 ___________________________________________________ Today, February 2 in 1980 The situation known as "Abscam" began when reports surfaced that the FBI had conducted a sting operation that targeted members of the U.S. Congress. Phony Arab businessmen were used in the operation. ______________________________________________________ Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Three children were removed from a home after allegations of child abuse. Then, investigators found skeletal remains __________________________________________ ================= Since we use your Humor letter in our English class it is not such a boring and difficult class any more. Before the teacher started printing the Humor Letter every day, English was like a mathematical puzzle with new rules every day. Now it is fun. Thank you very much ======Ricardo====== One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "What's a 'man', Lord?" "This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will provide you with companionship and satisfy your desires. Yet, he'll be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly." "Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. "What's the catch, Lord?" "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring. . So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. . So, just remember: it's our secret. Woman to Woman." __________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sendinbg me this picture: Bearnap-L.jpg ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rafael Loera, 56, Maribel Loera, 50, Phoenix, Arizona Three children were removed from a home after allegations of child abuse. Then, investigators found skeletal remains In the wake of the discovery of skeletal remains inside a west Phoenix house, police have arrested a couple whose three children were taken from that home by the Department of Child Safety amid allegations of child abuse. The father was employed as a teacher's aide at a high school. The parents of the children, identified by police as 56- year-old Rafael Loera and 50-year-old Maribel Loera, have been arrested and face a variety of charges. "Investigators learned that Rafael and Maribel Loera were responsible for the fire and abuse of the young victims," Sgt. Maggie Cox of the Phoenix Police Department said Wednesday afternoon. Earlier in the day Cox outlined the situation, explaining that this started when officers responded to the home near 59th Avenue and Camelback Road on Jan. 20 for a welfare check. An 11-year-old girl called police saying she was home alone. Officers found evidence of child abuse, and the child was taken into DCS custody. Cox said one hour later, the Phoenix Fire Department responded for a call of smoke coming from the house. Firefighters entered the home and found human skeletal remains. Detectives were called to the scene to investigate. The Phoenix Fire Department's investigation task force believes the fire was set intentionally. Police say Rafael Loera has been booked into the Fourth Avenue Jail on suspicion of concealing human body parts, endangerment, child abuse and arson. Maribel Loera faces child abuse charges. During Rafael's hearing, blame of abuse was shifted to his wife. "He is alleged to have done nothing to prevent abuse of the victims," stated the prosecutor. "Although he allegedly admitted that he knew it was happening and admitted that he left the victims in the care of the co- suspect knowing the abuse that was happening. He also admitted to hiding a corpse to hide alleged guilt of him and the co-suspect. He admitted to setting fire yesterday to end his own life and to burn his home down." DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Bausell Sailor Re: Steel Straws Dear Webby plastic straws will get you thrown in jail. I've been using the same stainless straws for years - tell your readers to go to Ebay sites and buy some --- Steel Straws here are eight straws and 2 cleaning brushes for $6.00 USD Steel Straws Bausell Sailor Dear Olga If you don't want organic straws at $2 per bale, try those steel straws. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. When I was working in the Piggly Wiggly all those years ago, I noticed the sexy little blonde who dashed into the store to pick up a few items. She marched right to my "Express Lane". I was on the phone doing a price check. In a huff, blondie said, "Excuse me, I'm in a hurry. Could you check me out?" Without missing a beat, I looked her up and down, and said, "Hmmm. Not bad." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ One day, an young lady is walking through a park when she hears a faint "help me, help me". She looks around and follows the quiet voice to a bush near the path. Looking under the bush she spies a little green frog trapped under a log. The girl moves the log and picks up the frog. "Oh, thank you, thank you" says the frog, "Take me home and put me on your pillow and in the morning I'll be a handsome Prince." So the girl takes the frog home and puts him on the pillow and there in the morning is a handsome young guy. Do, do you believe that? Her mother didn't either. ___________________________________________________ The bank robbers arrived just before closing and promptly ordered the few remaining depositors, the tellers, clerks, and guards to disrobe and lie face down on the floor, behind the counter. One woman pulled off her clothes and lay down on the floor facing upwards. "Turn over, Kim," whispered the girl lying beside her. "This is a stick-up, not an office party!" ___________________________________________________ A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for coronary surgery. The operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed. "Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," the nun said while patting his hand. "We do have to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?" "No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely. "Can you pay in cash?" "I'm afraid I can't, Sister." "Do you have any close relatives, then?" "Just my sister in New Mexico," replied, "but she's a spinster nun." "Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith," the nun replied. "They are married to God." "Okay," the man said with a smile, "in that case, send the bill to my brother-in-law." __________________________________________________ | No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 2 in 1536 The Argentine city of Buenos Aires was founded by Pedro de Mendoza of Spain. 1653 New Amsterdam, now known as New York City, was incorporated. 1848 The Mexican War was ended with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo. The treaty turned over portions of land to the U.S., including Texas, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah, Arizona, California and parts of Colorado and Wyoming. The U.S. gave Mexico $15,000,000 and assumed responsibility of all claims against Mexico by American citizens. Texas had already entered the U.S. on December 29, 1845. 1848 The first shipload of Chinese emigrants arrived in San Francisco, CA. 1863 Samuel Langhorne Clemens used a pseudonym for the first time. He is better remembered by the pseudonym which is Mark Twain. 1870 The "Cardiff Giant" was revealed to be nothing more than carved gypsum. The discovery in Cardiff, NY, was alleged to be the petrified remains of a human. 1878 Greece declared war on Turkey. 1880 The S.S. Strathleven arrived in London with the first successful shipment of frozen mutton from Australia. 1887 The beginning of Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, PA. 1892 William Painter patented the bottle cap. 1893 The Edison Studio in West Orange, NJ, made history when they filmed the first motion picture close-up. The studio was owned and operated by Thomas Edison. 1897 The Pennsylvania state capitol in Harrisburg was destroyed by fire. The new statehouse was dedicated nine years later on the same site. 1913 Grand Central Terminal officially opened at 12:01 a.m. Even though construction was not entirely complete more than 150,000 people visited the new terminal on its opening day. 1935 Leonard Keeler conducted the first test of the polygraph machine, in Portage, WI. 1943 During World War II, the remainder of Nazi forces from the Battle of Stalingrad surrendered to the Soviets. Stalingrad has since been renamed Volgograd. 1945 U.S. President Roosevelt and British Prime Minister Winston Churchill left for a summit in Yalta with Soviet leader Josef Stalin. 1946 The first Buck Rogers automatic pistol was made. 1962 The 8th and 9th planets aligned for the first time in 400 years. 1971 Idi Amin assumed power in Uganda after a coup that ousted President Milton Obote. 1980 The situation known as "Abscam" began when reports surfaced that the FBI had conducted a sting operation that targeted members of the U.S. Congress. Phony Arab businessmen were used in the operation. 1989 The final Russian armored column left Kabul, Afghanistan, after nine years of military occupation. 1990 South African President F.W. de Klerk lifted a ban on the African National Congress and promised to free Nelson Mandela. 1998 U.S. President Clinton introduced the first balanced budget in 30 years. 1999 19 people were killed at Luanda international airport when a cargo plane crashed just after takeoff. 1999 Hugo Chvez Fras took office. He had been elected president of Venezuela in December 1998. 2004 It was reported that a white powder had been found in an office of Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. The CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) later confirmed that the powder was the poison ricin. 2019 Do smiled. |
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