Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, May 13 _____________________________________________________ Today, May 13 in 1917 Near Fatima, Portugal, three peasant children reported seeing a vision of the Virgin Mary. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: 3 Ohio pastors facing life in prison; indicted for trafficking young girls for sex  ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good. --- Thomas Sowell (1930 - ) _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ >From Linda A man was telling his buddy : "You won't believe what happened last night. My daughter walked into the living room and said : Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window, take my TV and my laptop. Please take any of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then sell my car, take my front door key away, and throw me out of the house. Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to any charity you choose." "Holy Smokes," replied the friend, "she actually said that?" "Well, she didn't put it quite like that. She actually said: "Dad , meet my new boyfriend Mohammed. We're going to work together on Elizabeth Warren's Presidential Campaign." ______________________________________________________`   Dad sent me this picture. He had planted this Magnolia when I was born. _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Cordell Jenkins, Anthony Haynes, and Kenneth Butler Toledo, Ohio  3 Ohio pastors facing life in prison; indicted for trafficking young girls for sex  
 Toledo pastor, Anthony Haynes, has been found guilty of sex trafficking a 14 year old girl. After he groomed her for sex, he then passed her off to two other pastors, Cordell Jenkins and Kenneth Butler, for sex. Butler and Jenkins have already pleaded guilty. All three of these men are currently awaiting sentencing.   From: Carol Re: Storage media  Dear Webby You are a hoot! I did your trick to the machine of my Oh So Wise, know-it-all hubby. Eventually I had to help him. What a hoot! I guess I'm still in the dark ages. I save documents to my hard drive because I am not sure about CD's. I know one can save information on a CD but can you write over it, such as to edit a document? Thanks Carol  Dear Carol There ARE re-writabe CD's, but there is a limit to how often you can re-write them. They tend to become useless without warning. A much better solution is to buy a USB hard drive enclosure and stick a hard drive into it. Some of them come already in an enclosure, ready to plug in nd use. Quite often the drive from a retired machine is good enough for that. You can also get brand new drives now at incredible bargains. I have seen 2 TB drives advertised for around $100. Check priceGrabber for a store near you. You probably have a 40 GB drive now. Imagine the storage on a 2 TB drive! Have FUN! DearWebby  
  Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 During court one day, the judge quietly passed the clerk a note reading: "Blind on right side, may be falling. Please call someone." Understandably alarmed, the clerk called for help before whispering to the judge that paramedics were on their way. Puzzled, the judge pointed to a sagging Venetian blind on the right side of the room and explained, "I was thinking maybe someone from maintenance!" 
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 >From Kim As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, 'My mom has some of those, but I don't think she knows how to use them.' ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Saving For Christmas Don't be caught off guard by Christmas expenses. Start saving now and you can limit the stress that Christmas puts on your financial well being. When it comes time to buy presents and throw parties, stay within your budget and give your credit cards a break. thriftyfun.Com   ____________________________________________________   
  
Nine most beautiful animals in the world. 
 ___________________________________________________ >From Ed Out bicycli ng one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. 'In ten years,' I said, 'you'll want to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now.' Carolyn shrugged. 'In ten years you'll be too old to do all those things anyway.' ___________________________________________________ >From Alf My wife left the car unattended for only a minute, but it was long enough for our two-year-old to climb in, throw the car into reverse and crash into a lamppost. He was fine, but the car wasn't, and I had a hard time explaining who was behind the wheel to the insurance co mpany. After a pause, the adjuster asked, 'Do you let him drive often?' ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 My sister had been ill, so I called to see how she was doing. My ten-year-old niece answered the phone 'Hello,' she whispered. 'Hi, honey. How's your mother?' I asked. 'She's sleeping,' she answered, again in a whisper. 'Did she go to the doctor?' I asked. 'Yes. She got some medicine,' my niece said softly. 'Well, don't wake her up. Just tell her I called. What are you doing, by the way?' Again in a soft whisper, she answered, 'Practicing my trumpet.' ___________________________________________________  
 Today May 13 in 1607 An expedition led by Captain Christopher Newport arrived at Jamestown, Virginia. The passengers went ashore the next day and this site became the first permanent settlement English colony in America. 1779 The War of Bavarian Succession ended. 1787 Captain Arthur Phillip left Britain for Australia. He successfully landed eleven ships full of convicts on January 18, 1788, at Botany Bay. The group moved north eight days later and settled at Port Jackson. 1821 The first practical printing press was patented in the U.S. by Samuel Rust. 1846 The U.S. declared that war existed with Mexico. 1861 Britain declared its neutrality in the American Civil War. They sold guns to both sides. 1865 The last land engagement of the American Civil War was fought at the Battle of Palmito Ranch in far south Texas, more than a month after Gen. Lee's surrender at Appomattox, VA. 1873 Ludwig M. Wolf patented the sewing machine lamp holder. 1880 Thomas Edison tested his experimental electric railway in Menlo Park. 1888 Slavery was abolished in Brazil. 1897 Guglielmo Marconi sent the world's first wireless communication over open sea. 1913 Igor Sikorsky flew the first four engine aircraft. 1917 Near Fatima, Portugal, three peasant children reported seeing a vision of the Virgin Mary. 1927 "Black Friday" occurred in Germany. 1949 The first gas turbine to pump natural gas was installed in Wilmar, AR. 1954 U.S. President Eisenhower signed into law the St. Lawrence Seaway Development Act. 1958 French troops took control of Algiers. 1958 U.S. Vice President Nixon's limousine was battered by rocks thrown by anti-U.S. demonstrators in Caracas, Venezuela. 1968 Peace talks between the U.S. and North Vietnam began in Paris. 1975 Hailstones the size of tennis balls hit Wenerville, TN. 1985 A confrontation between Philadelphia authorities and the radical group MOVE ended as police dropped an explosive onto the group's headquarters. Eleven people died in the fire that resulted. 1998 India did a second round of nuclear tests. The first round had been done 2 days earlier. Within hours the U.S. and Japan imposed tough economic sanctions. India claimed that the tests were necessary to maintain India's national security. 1999 In Moscow, the impeachment of Russian President Boris Yeltsin began. 2003 The U.S. government unveiled a newly designed version of the $20 bill. It was the first to be colorized in an effort to stop counterfeiters. 2019 Do smiled. 
 

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