Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, April 17 Thank you, Francis!! 10 cm (4 inches) of snow again this morning. Most of it was gone by evening. Have FUN! DerWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Robert Desmond Johnson arrested for giving his 17 year old daughter pot brownies and having her sell them at a Floriduh High School. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, April 17 in 1629 Horses were first imported into the colonies by the American Massachusetts Bay Colony. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat. --- Katharine Whitehorn "The squeaky wheel doesn't always get greased; sometimes it gets replaced." ---John Peers ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ What Is Easter? Three cheerleaders died in an accident trying to jump the Grand Canyon. They are at the pearly gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question. The question posed by St. Peter is - "What is Easter"? The first cheerleader replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when we all get together, eat turkey and are thankful." "Wrong!, you are not welcome here, I'm afraid. You must go to the other place!" replies St.Peter. Then he turns to the second cheerleader, and asks her the same question - "What is Easter?" The second cheerleader replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus." St. Peter looks at the second cheerleader, bangs his head on the pearly gates in disgust and tells her she's wrong and will have to join her friend in the other place; she is not welcome in Heaven. He then peers over his glasses at the third cheerleader and asks, "Do YOU know what Easter is?" The third cheerleader smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously. "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder." St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. Then the third cheerleader continues ... "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of hockey!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An American tourist in Tel Aviv was about to enter the impressive Mann Auditorium to take in a concert by the Israel Philharmonic. He was admiring the unique architecture, the sweeping lines of the entrance, and the modern decor throughout the building. Finally he turned to his escort and asked if the building was named for Thomas Mann, the world-famous author. "No," his friend said, "it's was originally named for Fredric Mann, from Philadelphia." "Really? I never heard of him. What did he write?" "A check." "And is that the reason why they are now renaming this great Israeli institution to Bronfman Auditorium, after a Canadian?" "Yes." ______________________________________________________ It snowed again here ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, height="26" border="0"> Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Robert Desmond Johnson, 38, Plam Bay, Floriduh Robert Desmond Johnson arrested for giving his 17 year old daughter pot brownies and having her sell them at a Floriduh High School. A father and daughter went to jail after selling pot brownies that sent two teenagers to the hospital last week, according to the Palm Bay Police Department. Robert Desmond Johnson, 38, of Palm Bay, and his 17-year-old old daughter were each charged Friday with delivery of a controlled substance within 1,000 feet of a school. Johnson was also charged with delivery of a controlled substance to a minor, possession of cannabis with intent to sell and possession of drug paraphernalia. Police also charged a second teen with sale and delivery of marijuana and two teens with possession of marijuana. Thursday, a student became unconscious at Heritage High School and was taken to Palm Bay Community Hospital by ambulance, police said. That same day, some parents took their teen to the hospital for similar symptoms, the affidavit said. Police determined both boys had eaten brownies baked with marijuana. Johnson made the brownies and gave them to his daughter to sell to her friend who attends Heritage, police said. Officers arrived at Johnson's home Friday with a search warrant. They recovered more than 400 grams of marijuana in plastic bags and jars. Johnson told police he grows the marijuana in his garage, the affidavit states. Johnson posted $62,500 bail Sunday at the Brevard County Detention Center in Sharpes. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Louis Re: Telemarketer stop Dear Webby I have a better way to be rid of telemarketers than making them wait as you suggested in today's Tech Support Pit. As soon as you are assured that it is an unwanted call Just press ############## several times in succession. I don't know how or why it works but I NO LONGER get calls. I've been a fan of yours for over 10 years now and hope to be for another 10 years. Louis Beland Thanks Louis! When Barb was still working here, she used a little yellow ducky squeaky toy upside down on her desk. When she got a telemarketer, she whacked the little yellow ducky's squeaker with her phone. That seemed to work quite well too. Have FUN! DearWebby Last Sunday, the Gospel was the one about the ten bridesmaids. The five good bridesmaids remembered to take plenty of oil for their lamps; five bad bridesmaids did not. The priest at our church is always very fiery and his sermons always end on a high note. Last Sunday the priest ended with... "Where would you rather be? In the light with the five good bridesmaids or in the dark with the five bad bridesmaids?" It seems I got that one wrong! | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Cat Repellents By pennyc218 [1 Comment] Put some of the peels of the citrus around your trees . | | dog sings while playing piano |
____________________________________________________ "Jeffrey," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear it?" "My daddy said it," he responded. "Well, it doesn't matter," explained the teacher, "you don't even know what it means." "I do, so!" Jeffrey corrected. "It means the car won't start." ___________________________________________________ | | These cakes are too pretty to eat! |
A man and a woman are driving down the highway when another car passes them. The woman notices that the occupants of the other car are young and obviously in love. The girl is sitting very close to her boyfriend as they cruise down the highway. This causes the woman to think back when she and her husband were young and in love, and wondering where the show of affection had disappeared to over the years. Finally she says to her husband, "Remember when we used to be like that young couple? Where did the love go, honey?" Her question was met with a few moments of pensive thought, while he looked at his gnarled hands on the steering wheel. Then he replied, "I don't know, but I haven't moved." Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, on April 17 1492 Christopher Columbus signed a contract with Spain to find a passage to Asia and the Indies. 1521 Martin Luther was excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church. 1524 New York Harbor was discovered by Giovanni Verrazano. 1629 Horses were first imported into the colonies by the American Massachusetts Bay Colony. 1704 John Campbell published what would eventually become the first successful American newspaper. It was known as the Boston "News-Letter." 1808 Bayonne Decree by Napoleon I of France ordered the seizure of U.S. ships. 1810 Pineapple cheese was patented by Lewis M. Norton. 1824 Russia abandoned all North American claims south of 54' 40'. 1860 New Yorkers learned of a new law that required fire escapes to be provided for tenement houses. 1864 U.S. Civil War General Grant banned the trading of prisoners. 1865 Mary Surratt was arrested as a conspirator in the Lincoln assassination. 1895 China and Japan signed the Treaty of Shimonoseki. It was the end of the first Sino-Japanese War. In the treaty China ceded Taiwan to Japan. 1917 A bill in Congress to establish Daylight Saving Time was defeated. It was passed a couple of months later. 1941 Igor Sikorsky accomplished the first successful helicopter lift-off from water near Stratford, CT. 1941 The office of Price Administration was established in the U.S. to handle rationing. 1946 The last French troops left Syria. 1961 About 1,400 U.S.-supported Cuban exiles invaded Cuba at the Bay of Pigs in an attempt to overthrow Fidel Castro. Promised US naval and airborne help did not materialize and the invasion was unsuccessful. Survivors were sentenced to 30 years in jail. 1964 Jerrie Mock became first woman to fly an airplane solo around the world. 1964 The Ford Motor Company unveiled its new Mustang model. 1967 The U.S. Supreme Court barred Muhammad Ali's request to be blocked from induction into the U.S. Army. 1969 In Los Angeles, Sirhan Sirhan was convicted of assassinating U.S. Senator Robert F. Kennedy. 1969 Czechoslovak Communist Party chairman Alexander Dubcek was deposed. 1970 Apollo 13 returned to Earth safely after an on-board accident with an oxygen tank. 1975 Khmer Rouge forces capture the capital of Cambodia, Phnom Penh. It was the end of the five-year war. 1983 In Warsaw, police routed 1,000 Solidarity supporters. 1983 In New York, a transit strike that began on March 7 ended. 19840 In London, demonstrators outside the Libyan Embassy were fired upon from someone inside. Eleven people were injured and an English Police woman was killed. 1985 In Lebanon, the cabinet resigned as Shiites took W. Beirut. 1987 In Sri Lanka, Tamil guerrillas killed 122 people in a road ambush. 1989 In Poland, courts gave Solidarity legal status. 1993 A federal jury in Los Angeles convicted two former police officers of violating the civil rights of beaten motorist Rodney King. Two other officers were acquitted. 1996 Erik and Lyle Menendez were sentenced to life in prison without parole for killing their parents. 1999 In India, the government of Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee collapsed after losing a vote of confidence. 2002 At the National Maritime Museum in London, the exhibit "Skin Deep A History of Tattooing" opened. 2017 Do smiled. |
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