Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, June 1 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Mesa mail box bomber arrested ___________________________________________________ Today, June 1 in 1970 Zimbabwe came into existence. It was formerly known as Rhodesia and until then was the largest grain exporter in Africa. Now it needs grain donations from the rest of the world. ____________________________________________________ An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn't take his education too seriously. --- Charles F. Kettering (1876 - 1958) ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Two English ladies were discussing their vacation plans on a London bus near an Irish lady. "We're planning a lovely holiday in Devon this year," said one. "Oh you oughtn't to do that," said the other, "there are Irish there! It would be awful." "Dear me!" said the first lady. "well where are you going?" "Salisbury," she replied. "But Salisbury is simply crawling with Irish!" the first lady objected. At this point the Irish lady could no longer hold her tounge. "Why don't ye go t' hell," she suggested. "There be no Irish there!" ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John Janecek, 40, Mesa, Arizona, USA Mail box bomber arrested Officials with the Mesa Police Department announced on May 29 the arrest of a man in connection with a number of mailbox bombings in the East Valley. According to a statement, 40-year-old John Janecek was arrested on May 28, in connection with five mailbox bombings that took place from March 12 to March 15. Investigators say of the five incidents, four of them took place in Mesa, and one took place in Gilbert. Investigators tracked down Janecek after a car associated with him was seen at the scene of one of the bombings. In addition, Janecek was seen on social media videos making and setting off consumer fireworks. Janecek, according to police, was detained in April 2021 during a search warrant. "John denied blowing up any mailboxes but said he did have "materials" that he thought he should not have, so he had them destroyed. John continued to talk to officers, making incriminating statements about blowing up mailboxes, but would then stop and correct himself," read a portion of the statement. Following his arrest on May 28, police officials say Janecek told officers he apologized to the business owner from the first incident, and paid him $30 as restitution for destroying the mailbox. He later confessed to blowing up at least three mailboxes. Janecek, according to police, was booked into jail and accused of five counts of first degree burglary, five counts of disorderly conduct, and a count of possession of dangerous drugs. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: DearWebby RE: Internet Access Dear Webby I am "connected" via Telus, the biggest ISP this side of China. Or so they claim. They have a problem, or pretend to have a problem, while they try to con me into switching to fiber, instead of copper. The moron, who pretends to be a tech, claims there is a problem with the copper. I told him he is full of shit, because I can get to their shopping cart, just not out onto the net. And I can use Skype. DUH! And I can use FTP. DUh! Duh! Duh! Obviously the problem is not the copper, but Telus in Calgary, either playing stupid games, or just routine incompetence. Dear Do! I might have to give you a few days vacation while I switch to a better ISP. Have FUN! DearWebby "I presume, Mrs Murphy, you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" "Indeed I do, sir, it's a lock of my Dan's hair." "But your husband is still alive." "that he is," said she "but his hair is long gone!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Casey and Riley agreed to settle their dispute by a fight, and it was understood that whoever wanted to quit should say "Enough." Casey got Riley down and was hammering him unmercifully when Riley called out several times, "Enough!" As Casey paid no attention, but kept on administering punishment, a bystander said, "Why don't you let him up? Don't you hear him say that he's had enough?" "I do," says Casey, "but he's such a liar, you can't believe him." ___________________________________________ Two Irish mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years." The other woman said, "Well, my Francis is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time." "My word," the first Irish mother said. "You must be so proud." "I am," the second mother replied. "And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him one heck of a big party." ____________________________________________ St Peter becomes aware of a man standing outside the Gates of Heaven, pacing up and down. "Excuse me, can I help you?" he asks. "No, it's all right. It won't be long." And he distractedly looks at his watch, shrugs and paces on. St. Peter gives it anotherhalf hour and asks again. The man stops and says, "Look, you know I'm dead. I know I'm dead. Will someone please tell my secretary that I will NOT wake up, no matter what she does?" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, in June 1 in 1533 Anne Boleyn, Henry VIIIs new queen, was crowned. 1774 The British government ordered the Port of Boston closed. 1789 The first U.S. congressional act on administering oaths became law. 1861 The first skirmish of the U.S. Civil War took place at the Fairfax Court House, Virginia. 1869 Thomas Edison received a patent for his electric voting machine. It was never used. 1877 U.S. troops were authorized to pursue bandits into Mexico. 1892 The General Electric Company (GE) began operations after the merging of the Edison General Electric and the Thomson- Houston Electric companies. 1896 In Paris, France, the first recorded automobile theft occurred. The Peugeot of Baron de Zuylen de Nyevelt was stolen by his mechanic. 1915 Germany conducted the first zeppelin air raid over England. 1916 The National Defense Act increased the strength of the U.S. National Guard by 450,000 men. 1921 A race riot erupted in Tulsa, OKlahoma. 85 people were killed. 1935 The Ingersoll-Waterbury Company reported that it had produced 2.5 million Mickey Mouse watches during its 2-year association with Disney. 1938 Baseball helmets were worn for the first time. 1939 The Douglas DC-4 made its first passenger flight from Chicago to New York. 1941 The German Army completed the capture of Crete as the Allied evacuation ended. 1942 The U.S. began sending Lend-Lease materials to the Soviet Union. 1943 During World War II, Germans shot down a civilian flight from Lisbon to London. 1944 The French resistance was warned by a coded message from the British that the D-Day invasion was imminent. 1944 Siesta was abolished by the government of Mexico. 1954 In the Peanuts comic strip, Linus' security blanket made its debut. 1958 Charles de Gaulle became the premier of France. 1958 IBM ended its design of machines that contained electronic tubes and used Transistors from then on. 1961 Radio listeners in New York, California, and Illinois were introduced to FM multiplex stereo broadcasting. A year later the FCC made this a standard. 1963 Governor George Wallace vowed to defy an injunction that ordered the integration of the University of Alabama. 1970 Zimbabwe came into existence. It was formerly known as Rhodesia and until then was the largest grain exporter in Africa. Now it needs grain donations from the rest of the world. 1972 In Iraq, The Ba'athist government nationalized the western-owned Iraq Petroleum Company and turned operations over to the Iraq National Oil Company. 1977 The Soviet Union formally charged Jewish human rights activist Anatoly Shcharansky with treason. He was imprisoned until 1986. 1978 The U.S. reported the finding of wiretaps in the American embassy in Moscow. 1979 In the U.S., the government-controlled ceiling on oil prices ends. The control was phased out over 28 months. 1980 Cable News Network (CNN) made its debut as the first all- news station. 1995 At Disneyland Paris, the attraction "Space Mountain: From The Earth to the Moon" opened. 1998 In the U.S., the FDA approved a urine-only test for the AIDS virus. 1998 A $124 million suit was brought against Goodyear Tire & Rubber that alleged discrimination towards black workers. 1999 Merrill Lynch chairman David Komansky announced that the firm would soon allow its customers to buy and sell stocks over the Internet. 2008 The Phoenix Mars Lander became the first NASA spacecraft to scoop Martian soil. 2009 The first event, a George Strait concert, was held at Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, TX. 2009 General Motors filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy. The filing made GM the largest U.S. industrial company to enter bankruptcy protection. 2021 Do smiled. |
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