Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, December 22 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Man shot and killed girlfriend, cut child with knife in domestic incident in Phoenix ____________________________________________________ Today, December 22, in 1939 Gloria Jacobs became the first girl to hold a world pistol record when she shot 299 out of a possible 300 points. She was 17 years old at the time. ____________________________________________________ History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. --- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821) History is the version of past events that the media has decided to push onto the peons. --- Socratex ____________________________________________________ The Father, passing thru the son's college town late one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a surprise visit to the boy. Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the door. After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second floor window. "Whaddya want?" "Does Jimmy Duncan live here?" asked the father. "Yeah!" replied the voice. "Just dump him on the front porch as usual. We'll hose him down and try to sober him up in the morning." ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Right outside her front door, Joe's mother-in-law had a thermometer that never seemed to tell the correct temperature. One chilly day, we all noticed that the thermometer, which was in direct sunlight, read a balmy 72 degrees. "Mom," Joe's wife suggested without thinking, "you should stick that thing where the sun don't shine." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by William Zovieh Washington Calvin, 20, Phoenix, Arizona, USA Man shot and killed girlfriend, cut child with knife in domestic incident: Phoenix Police Phoenix Police officials say they have arrested a man in connection with the death of a 27-year-old woman in Phoenix. According to a statement released on Dec. 20, police say 20- year-old William Zovieh Washington Calvin was arrested in connection with a domestic incident that ended with the shooting death of 27-year-old Delores Smith. The incident, according to police, happened just before 10:00 a.m. on Dec. 19. Officers were called to a home in the area of 35th Avenue and Roeser Road for a report of an injured child, and when they arrived at the scene, they found the child, who was in the care of Calvin. The child told officers where his mother was, and when officers went to the home, they found Smith dead inside the home with gunshot wounds. According to court documents, Calvin, after he was read his Miranda rights, told officers in an interview that he had sexual contact with the six-year-old, and during the sexual contact, Smith confronted Calvin, and Calvin shot Smith multiple times. Calvin also said he used a large knife to cut the six-year-old's neck, and then take the child to another location where officers were called. Police officials say Williams, who was in a romantic relationship with Smith, was booked into the Maricopa County Jail. Court documents show Williams is accused of first degree murder, sexual conduct with a minor, child abuse, kidnappings, and weapons possession-related offenses. "There are not believed to be any outstanding suspects in this case," read a portion of the statement released by Phoenix Police officials. According to court documents, a $2.5 million secured appearance bond has been set for Calvin. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Dora Re: Virus Blocker Dear Webby What do you use nowadays to block viruses and attack programs? Dora Dear Dora I used to use McAfee since the mid 80s, but when I got Windoze 7 PRO, it did not work with that. So I yelled and screamed and cussed at the Taliban, who were doing tech support for McAfee for about four hours. When I told them That I would send every virus and Trojan at them if they did not come up with a solution, then after a 10 minute pause they told me that they use MalwareBytes. I thanked them and have not contacted McAfee since then. I was probably one of the first ones to buy Malwarebytes, and got a lifetime subscription. It is for only one machine, but is great!Malwarebytes doesn't just protect mail, but alsoanything coming in via browsers. I love it! You get it from https://www.malwarebytes.com/for-home Have FUN! DearWebby A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver's window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over. "No," the man replied. "You failed to stop at the stop sign," the cop explained. "But I did slow down!" the driver argued. The cop pulled out his riot stick and his big flashlight and, reaching in through the open car door, began a spirited drum solo on the driver's head. "Tell me if you want me to stop or just slow down a bit." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ First Farmer: I used to quit plowing for lunch every day at exactly eleven-thirty. Second Farmer: Did you have a wristwatch or a pocket watch? First Farmer: Neither. The whistle at the sawmill blows every day at noon, and I simply quit a half hour before I heard it. ______________________________________________ An Irishman living in England goes for a job on a construction site. The foreman says, "Can you brew tea?" The Irishman says, "Yes,shore kin." "Good. Can you drive a fork lift?" The Irishman looks at him and says, "Why, mon, how big is your teapot?" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks." ___________________________________________________ | Today, December 22, in 1715 James Stuart, the "Old Pretender", landed at Petershead after his exile in France. 1775 A Continental naval fleet was organized in the rebellious American colonies under the command of Ezek Hopkins. 1807 The U.S. Congress passed the Embargo Act, designed to force peace between Britain and France by cutting off all trade with Europe. 1864 During the American Civil War, Union Gen. William T. Sherman sent a message to U.S. President Lincoln from Georgia. The message read, "I beg to present you as a Christmas gift the city of Savannah." 1877 The "American Bicycling Journal" went on sale for the first time. 1894 French army officer Alfred Dreyfus was convicted of treason in a court-martial that triggered worldwide charges of anti-Semitism. Dreyfus was eventually vindicated. 1895 German physicist Wilhelm Roentgen made the first X-ray, of his wife's hand. 1910 U.S. Postal savings stamps were issued for the first time. They were discontinued in 1914. 1939 Gloria Jacobs became the first girl to hold a world pistol record when she shot 299 out of a possible 300 points. She was 17 years old at the time. 1943 Sporting goods manufacturers received permission to use synthetic rubber for the core of baseballs. 1941 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill arrived in Washington for a wartime conference with U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt. 1956 Colo, the first gorilla to be born in captivity, was born at the Columbus, Ohio zoo. 1956 The last British and French forces evacuated Egypt. 1961 James Davis became the first U.S. soldier to die in Vietnam, while U.S. involvement was still limited to the provision of military advisers. 1984 New York City resident Bernhard Goetz shot four black youths on a Manhattan subway. Goetz claimed they were about to rob him. 1989 Romania's hard-line Communist ruler, Nicolae Ceausescu, was overthrown in a popular uprising. 1990 Lech Walesa was sworn in as Poland's first popularly elected president. 1991 The body of Lt. Col. William R. Higgins, an American hostage murdered by his captors, was found along a highway in Lebanon. 1996 A car bomb exploded in Belfast, injuring a known IRA supporter. Police suspected that Protestant loyalists were responsible for the attack. 1998 A unit of RJR Nabsico pled guilty to attempting to smuggle cigarettes into Canada. 2001 Thirty Afghans, including two women, were sworn in as part of the new interim government in Afghanistan. Hamid Karzai was the head of the post-Taliban government. 2021 Do smiled. |
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