Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, December 6 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: 300-pound woman pleads guilty to fatally attacking, crushing boyfriend https://youtu.be/hBq_r1-G_4E ______________________________________________________ Today, December 6 in 1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a state education system. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. --- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931) ______________________________________________________ A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, 'Marian, Marian!' Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, 'You shouldn't call me 'Marian.' I'm your mother, you know.' 'I know,' said the child, 'but the store is full of mothers.' ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction. "Hello," said the little boy "Hi," replied the little girl. "Where are you going?" asked the little boy. "I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home," answered the little girl. "I'm also on my way home from church. Which church do you go to?" asked the little boy. "I go to the Baptist church back down the road," replied the little girl. "What about you?" "I go to the Methodist church back at the top of the hill," replied the little boy. They discover that they are both going the same way so they decided that they'd walk together. They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had partially flooded the road, so there was no way that they could get across to the other side without getting wet. "If I get my new Sunday dress wet, my Mom's going to skin me alive," said the little girl. "My Mom'll tan my hide, too, if I get my new Sunday suit wet," replied the little boy. "I tell you what I think I'll do," said the little girl. "I'm gonna pull off all my clothes and hold them over my head and wade across." "That's a good idea,"replied the little boy. "I'm going to do the same thing with my suit." So they both undressed and waded across to the other side without getting their clothes wet. They were standing there in the sun waiting to drip dry before putting their clothes back on, when the little boy finally remarked "You know, I never realized before just how much difference there really is between a Baptist and a Methodist! ______________________________________________________ Lightbulb changing in Chicago _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Windi Thomas, 44. Erie Pennsylvania 300-pound woman pleads guilty to fatally attacking, crushing boyfriend A woman has pleaded guilty to killing her boyfriend by stabbing him, hitting him with a table leg and crushing him under the weight of her roughly 300 pounds. Windi Thomas, of Erie, faces a sentence of 18 to 36 years after pleading guilty to third-degree murder. She had been scheduled for trial next week, but instead will be sentenced on Dec. 21. The 44-year-old Thomas admitted killing Keeno Butler last March, partially by lying on top of him. Thomas weighs about 300 pounds, while the 44-year-old Butler weighed about 120 pounds. The Erie Times-News reports Thomas told investigators she had been drinking throughout the day and left the apartment to purchase crack cocaine. After she returned home, she was sitting on the couch with a knife and, at one point, cut Butler's hand. Thomas told police that Butler went to the kitchen and returned with a table leg, which she took from him and used to hit him on the head. As the two wrestled on the ground, Thomas said she was able to pin Butler down. Thomas then called 911 and reported she had killed someone. Butler's death was ruled a homicide caused by respiratory insufficiency secondary to blunt force trauma to the neck and thoracic compression, exacerbated by blunt force trauma to the head, according to the affidavit. Butler's sister said her family is still coping with her brother's death and had been hoping for a longer prison sentence for Thomas. I feel like she should have 40 or more, Sandra Butler said. She deserved life. From: Joan Re: Touch Pad Dear Webby, You told me once in the 90's to put a cardboard into the touchpad depression. I did. And carefully moved it to new machines every time a machine had to be replaced. My cardboard is thin enough so that if I really whack it with my thumb, it works like the Enter key. Just light movement of the thumb does not affect it at all. I am perfectly happy with your solution. Thanks Joan Dear Joan Thanks for the feedback! It is rare that people tell me how a solution worked. I do appreciate it! Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A bishop discovered a tribe of Indians in the Amazon who had never recorded a baptism, confirm- ation or marriage. The bishop soon rectified the situation by baptizing and confirming everyone. He also married every couple that walked by and desired such. Later, the tribal chief told the Bishop the tribe had never had so much fun. The bishop asked the chief which part they enjoyed the most. "The marriage service," the chief said, smiling. "We all got new wives!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
While attending a convention, I breakfasted in a cafe, next to two gray-haired men from the same symposium. I overheard one remark, "You know, this is the first time in 40 years we've gone to one of these without our wives." His pal leaned back, contemplating what such freedom might portend. "I know," he said, laying his menu aside. "Let's have biscuits and gravy!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Eat Half Your Entree Restaurant serving sizes are often more than a person can or should eat. Try this: as soon as the server sets down a plate, divide your meal in half. Eat half at the restaurant and take the other half home to eat for lunch the following day. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com Denny's Restaurants tend to get carried away a bit, in some towns. Here is a picture of my dad when I took him into Dennys for a well deserved Banana Split in Barstow one year. We had been driving and running through the desert all day, taking pictures of cacti, but that was too much. Dennys also used to get quite carried away with their Chef Salad. You can eat one normal portion and have enough left over to take home for side salads for four people the next day. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ | | To each his own......I guess. |
___________________________________________________ Judy, the editor of a trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer. So she called Prem, the computer guy, over to her desk. Prem clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, Judy called after him, "So, what was wrong?" And he replied, "It was just an "ID ten T" error." A puzzled expression ran over Judy's face. "An "ID ten T" error? What's that?.. in case I need to fix it again??" He gave her a grin... "Haven't you ever heard of an "ID ten T" error before?" "No," replied Judy. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out." She wrote..... I D 1 0 T ___________________________________________________ During our Marine boot-camp class on combat gear, the drill instructor told us to put on the equipment we had been issued; then he would inspect us. Soon after, a frantic recruit, helmet liner in hand, ran up to the DI. "Sir," he began, "the private's helmet liner does not fit the private's head, sir." The DI, obviously perturbed that the recruit hadn't listened to his instructions on how to adjust the liner, looked into the Marine's face. "Okay, private," he said. "This is what I want you to do. Go into the gear locker, find a new head to fit your helmet liner and use that one!" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A missionary recruit goes to Venezuela for the first time, struggling with the language. He visits one of the local churches and sits in the front row. So as not to make a fool of himself, he decides to pick someone out of the crowd to imitate. He decides to follow the man sitting next to him in the front pew. As they sing, the man claps his hands, so the missionary recruit claps, too. When the man stands up to pray, the missionary recruit stands up, too. When the man sits down, the missionary sits down. Later in the service, the man next to him stands up again, so the missionary stands up, too. Suddenly a hush falls over the entire congregation. A few people gasp. The missionary looks around and sees that no one else is standing. So he sits down. After the service ends, the missionary recruit greets the preacher. "I take it you don't speak Spanish," the preacher says. The missionary replies, "No, I don't. Is it that obvious?" "Well yes," the preacher says. "I announced that the Acosta family had a new-born baby boy, and I asked the proud father to please stand up." ___________________________________________________ | Today December 6 in 1735 In London, French surgeon Claudius Amyand peformed the first successful appendectomy at St. George's Hospital. The patient was an 11-year old boy that had swallowed a pin. 1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a state education system. 1865 The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. The amendment abolished slavery in the U.S. 1876 The city of Anaheim was incorporated for a second time. 1877 Thomas Edison demonstrated the first gramophone, with a recording of himself reciting Mary Had a Little Lamb. 1883 "Ladies' Home Journal" was published for the first time. 1884 The construction of the Washington Monument was completed by Army engineers. The project took 34 years. 1889 Jefferson Davis died in New Orleans. He was the first and only president of the Confederate States of America. 1907 In Monongah, WV, 361 people were killed in America's worst mine disaster. 1917 More than 1,600 people died when two munitions ships collided in the harbor at Halifax, Nova Scotia. 1917 Finland proclaimed independence from Russia. 1921 The Catholic Irish Free State was created as a self- governing dominion of Britain when an Anglo-Irish treaty was signed. 1923 U.S. President Calvin Coolidge became the first president to give a presidential address that was broadcast on radio. 1926 In Italy, Benito Mussolini introduced a tax on bachelors. 1947 Everglades National Park in Florida was dedicated by U.S. President Truman. 1957 AFL-CIO members voted to expel the International Brotherhood of Teamsters. The Teamsters were readmitted in 1987. 1957 America's first attempt at putting a satellite into orbit failed when the satellite blew up on the launch pad at Cape Canaveral, FL. 1973 Gerald R. Ford was sworn in as the vice-president of the United States after vice-president Spiro Agnew resigned. 1982 11 soldiers and 6 civilians were killed when a bomb exploded in a pub in Ballykelly, Northern Ireland. The Irish National Liberation Army was responsible for planting the bomb. 1983 In Jerusalem, a bomb planted on a bus exploded killing six Israelis and wounding 44. 1985 Congressional negotiators reached an agreement on a deficit- cutting proposal that later became the Gramm-Rudman-Hollings law. 1989 The worst mass shooting in Canadian history occurred when a man gunned down 14 women at the University of Montreal's school of engineering. The man then killed himself. 1989 Egon Krenz resigned as leader of East Germany. 1990 Iraq announced that it would release all its 2,000 foreign hostages. 1992 Germany's primary political parties agreed to tighten postwar asylum laws. 1992 In India, thousands of Hindu extremists destroyed a mosque. The following two months of Hindu-Muslim rioting resulted in at least 2,000 people being killed. 1993 Former priest James R. Porter was sentenced to 18 to 20 years in prison. Porter had admitted molesting 28 children in the 1960s. 1994 Orange County, CA, filed for bankruptcy protection due to investment losses of about $2 billion. The county is one of the richest in the U.S. and became the largest municipality to file for bankruptcy. 1997 A Russian Antonov 124 military transport crashed into a residential area in Irkutsk, Russia, shortly after takeoff. 70 people were killed. 1998 In Venezuela, former Lieutenant Colonel Hugo Chavez was elected president. He had staged a bloody coup attempt against the government six years earlier. 1998 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavour connected the first two building blocks of the international space station in the shuttle cargo bay. 2002 Winona Ryder was sentenced to 36 months of probation and 480 hours of community service stemming from her conviction for shoplifting from Saks Fifth Avenue. She was also ordered to pay $10,000 in fines and restitution. 2002 Officials released the detailed plans for a $4.7 million memorial commemorating Princess Diana. The large oval fountain was planned to be constructed in London's Hyde Park. 2018 Do smiled. |
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