Good Morning, Do, Today is Tuesday, November 21 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Burglar nabbed after leaving resume, cellphone behind Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, November 21 in 1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened. It is 2000 Miles long and was built in one year. The Environmental Impact Study took less than an hour. "Winding In and Winding Out I don't know whether the lout Who built this rout Was going to hell Or coming out!" I saw that in a campground outhouse on the Alaska Highway in 1970, long before the highway was straightened out. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | ______________________________________________________ Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak. --- Jay Leno (1950 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One guy said he was going to bug him. He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. 'Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a sissy.' 'Oh really, hmm, didn't know that.' Puzzled, the English man walked back to his buddies. 'I told him St. Patrick was a sissy and he didn't care!' 'You just don't know how to set him off, watch and learn.' The second English man walked over and tapped the Irish man on the shoulder. 'I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite!' 'Oh, wow, I didn't know that, thank you.' Shocked beyond belief, the English man went back to his buddies. 'Your right, he is unshakable!' The third English man said: 'No, no, no, I will really bug him, you just watch.' The English man walked over to the Irish man, tapped him on the shoulder and said... 'I hear your St. Patrick was an English man!' 'Yeah, that's what your buddies were trying to tell me.' _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The presiding judge had just completed rendering the court's verdict and was about to pass sentence when he asked the defendant if he had anything to say. "No, judge, there is nothing I care to say," answered the prisoner. "But if you'll let me clear away the tables and chairs in this here courtroom, so's I can properly beat the heck outa that no-good lawyer of mine, you can give me a year or two extra." _____________________________________ Half Dome _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ An Amish man answered a knock on his door one morning. An electric company worker handed him a piece of paper stating that the electric company would like to run a power line through his cow pasture. The Amish man said, "No, no you can not." "Legally, that paper says we can." replied the gruff worker. As he turned and left returning to his co-workers in the field, the Amish man went to his barn and turned his 1200 pound bulls bull loose into the pasture. As the bulls rumbled toward the workers in the field, the Amish farmer hollered, "Show them thy silly paper!" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Erin Sullivan, 39, Arizona Burglar nabbed after leaving resume, cellphone behind A convicted felon was arrested in connection with a series of home burglaries in metro Phoenix after he left his resume inside one house and his cellphone in another, according to Maricopa County Superior Court documents. Erin Sullivan, 39, is accused of stealing items worth more than $225,000 from multiple homes within the past month, court documents say. Sullivan entered a Scottsdale house near Hayden Road and 80th Place through an unlocked back door Oct. 24, police say in court records. The documents state the victim later noticed nearly $15,000 of jewelry as well as a handgun was missing. The victim also found a black binder that did not belong to anyone in the home. The Scottsdale police officers who responded to the incident opened the binder and found Sullivan's resume, records state. This led to a background check, in which officers found Sullivan to be an 11-time convicted felon, who was on probation and had been released from prison in June 2016, the court documents say. Sullivan's probation officer said the man was working as a salesman going door to door, court records say. On Nov. 3, detectives linked Sullivan to home burglaries in other areas, including Phoenix and Surprise. The Surprise Police Department confirmed camera equipment and a gaming system were stolen from a home in Surprise. Detectives found another burglary in Phoenix connected to Sullivan, in which the homeowner reported more than $200,000 in bags, jewelry, watches and luggage stolen, documents stated. Sullivan had left his cellphone in that home. When questioned, Sullivan denied any involvement in the burglaries despite some of the stolen items being found in his home, according to records. Officials found luxury watches hidden in cereal boxes in Sullivan's kitchen. The documents state that additional items from different residential burglaries were found. Some items, such as the gaming system and camera equipment, were recovered, according to officials. Sullivan is being charged with theft and multiple counts of burglary, records state. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Addresses in Eudora Dear Webby, For some strange reason, my 7 year old notebook, has started acting almost normally. It is now ok to travel with. I really appreciate all your help. One quick question; where do I find addresses in my eudora folder so I can copy them to my notebook? All the best. Bill Dear Bill Glad to hear that! With Eudora, I just copy over the entire Eudora folder. As far as I remember, addresses are in the 2 nndbase files. However, if you drag the entire Eudora folder onto a key-fob RAM stick, and from there onto the notebook, including the Install file, install it and it will be fine. I have done that since the early 90's, though with floppy disks in those days. Have FUN! DearWebby Greg bought Keli, his wife, a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, his friend Bill asked how she was doing with it. "Oh," said Greg, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet." "How come?" Bill asked. "Because," he answered, "with a clarinet, she can't sing." If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | For a holiday, an Irishman decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide. Three hours later, a Saint Bernard ploughed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin. "Hooray!" shouted the guide. "Here comes man's best friend!" "Aye," said the Irishman. "An' look at the size of the dog that's bringin' it!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pistachio Shell Flowers and Candle Holder By attosa [454 Posts, 2,493 Comments] Ever since I was a little kid, I've eaten a "lot" of pistachios. Even back then, I would save the shells in order to make crafts out of them because I thought they were so pretty to throw away. Yes, my thriftiness started at a young age. This is how I make flowers and candle holders out of my pistachio shells. Painting them is completely optional. I think they look lovely in their plain state. :) Total Time: 1 hour Supplies: several pistachio shells (about 1.5 cups worth or more) CD or cardboard rounds hot glue gun with glue candle acrylic paint and brush (optional) Pistachio Shell Flowers and Candle Holder plain candle holder and a red and plain small flowerEver since I was a little kid, I've eaten a "lot" of pistachios. Even back then, I would save the shells in order to make crafts out of them because I thought they were so pretty to throw away. Yes, my thriftiness started at a young age. This is how I make flowers and candle holders out of my pistachio shells. Painting them is completely optional. I think they look lovely in their plain state. :) Total Time: 1 hour Supplies: several pistachio shells (about 1.5 cups worth or more) CD or cardboard rounds hot glue gun with glue candle acrylic paint and brush (optional) Pistachio Shell Flowers and Candle Holder supplies Steps: To make a candle holder flower, place your candle in the middle of your CD to find out how much space you'll need around the first ring of pistachio shells. Dab some hot glue down on the CD. Begin adding pistachio shells side by side, standing straight up, all around the candle. When you've made your first ring around the candle, start a new one just outside of it, but with the shells leaning back a bit. As you keep making new rings, lay them down a bit more each time, as if the flower is in bloom. When the CD or cardboard round is fully covered, you are done. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com If you are doing that with kids, you can use glue made from flour and water. Nobody will get burned and start screaming. For the finish I recommend a light spraying of Candy-Apple red or green. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he'd asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down because he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest. "Oh I don't care." said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner." __________________________________________________ | You can't help but laugh at this comedy routine called "The Fat Man." | The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts. I intended to stock up. At the store, however, I was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so I complained to the butcher lady. "Don't worry," she said, "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping." Several aisles later, I heard the lady butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the gentleman who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store." ___________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. | ____________________________________________________ Today, November 21, in 1620 The Mayflower reached Provincetown, MA. The ship discharged the Pilgrims at Plymouth, MA, on December 26, 1620. 1694 French author and philosopher Jean Francois Voltaire was born. At age 65 he spent only three days writing "Candide." 1783 The first successful flight was made in a hot air balloon. The pilots, Francois Pilatre de Rosier and Francois Laurent, Marquis d'Arlandes, flew for 25 minutes and 50 miles over Paris. 1871 M.F. Galethe patented the cigar lighter. 1877 Thomas A. Edison announced the invention of his phonograph. 1929 Spanish surrealist Salvador Dali had his first art exhibit. 1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened. It is 2000 Miles long and was built in one year. The Environmental Impact Study took less than an hour. 1953 British Natural History Museum authorities announced that "Piltdown Man" was a hoax. 1962 U.S. President Kennedy terminated the quarantine measures against Cuba. 1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon's attorney, J. Fred Buzhardt, announced the presence of an 18-minute gap in one of the White House tape recordings related to the Watergate case. 1979 The U.S. Embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan, was attacked by a mob that set the building afire and killed two Americans. 1980 An estimated 83 million viewers tuned in to find out "who shot J.R." on the CBS prime-time soap opera Dallas. Kristin was the character that fired the gun. (Texas) 1980 87 people died in a fire at the MGM Grand Hotel-Casino in Las Vegas, NV. 1982 The National Football League (NFL) resumed its season following a 57-day player's strike. 1985 Former U.S. Navy intelligence analyst Jonathan Jay Pollard was arrested after being accused of spying for Israel. He was later sentenced to life in prison. 1986 U.S. Attorney General Meese was asked to conduct an inquiry of the Iran arms sales. 1987 An eight-day siege began at a detention center in Oakdale, LA, as Cuban detainees seized the facility and took hostages. 1989 The proceedings of Britain's House of Commons were televised live for the first time. 1992 U.S. Senator Bob Packwood issued an apology but refused to discuss allegations that he'd made unwelcome sexual advances toward 10 women in past years. 1993 The U.S. House of Representatives voted against making the District of Columbia the 51st state. 1994 NATO warplanes bombed an air base in Serb-held Croatia that was being used by Serb planes to raid the Bosnian "safe area" of Bihac. 1995 France detonated its fourth underground nuclear blast at a test site in the South Pacific. 1995 The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above the 5,000-mark (5,023.55) for the first time. 1999 China announced that it had test-launched an unmanned space capsule that was designed for manned spaceflight. 2000 The Florida Supreme Court granted Al Gore's request to keep the presidential recounts going. 2001 Microsoft Corp. proposed giving $1 billion in computers, software, training and cash to more than 12,500 of the poorest schools in the U.S. The offer was intended as part of a deal to settle most of the company's private antitrust lawsuits. 2002 NATO invited Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, Bulgaria, Romania, Slovakia and Slovenia to become members. 2017 Do smiled. |
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