Good Morning, Do, Today is Saturday, November 18 -20. No gullible Warming around here. That cycle seems to have ended. During my walk it felt like the inevitable "Ice age is coming" cycle has started. Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Ohio man threatened to kill wife, commit 'mass shooting' that would 'go down in history' Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, November 18 in 1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time zones. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ He was one of those men who think that the world can be saved by writing a pamphlet. --- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881) Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. --- H. L. Mencken ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The science teacher was discussing insects in her biology class for the kids. She said, "Moths always fly with their legs apart. Can anybody tell me why?" Some of the students looked at each other in a state of total confusion. Then, Johnny raised his hand. When called upon, he said, "Miss, have you ever seen the SIZE of moth balls?" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ From Boris I asked my wife if she had seen this morning's paper. She said, "Yes, I wrapped the garbage in it--just the classified section, though." I said, "But...but...I haven't seen it yet!" She replies, "Oh, you didn't miss much. Just some egg shells, coffee grounds and a few orange peels." _____________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for this classic: When the office printer's type began to grow faint, the office manager called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he said, the manager might try reading the printer's manual and doing the job himself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, the office manager asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?" "Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Wei Li, 38, Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio Ohio man threatened to kill wife, commit 'mass shooting' that would 'go down in history' A Cuyahoga Falls man has been charged after allegedly threatening to kill his estranged wife and shoot up the Las Vegas hotel and casino where she worked. Wei Li, 38, faces a charge of interstate threatening communications and destruction of evidence. According to the Cleveland Division of FBI, Li texted his estranged wife Nov. 6 multiple times making the threats. He also referenced a mass shooting at a church with at least 1,000 people in attendance. He indicated in the text messaging that the killing he planned to commit would go down in history and that he would blame his wife for all the deaths. According to court documents, he said the shooting at the casino would be a dry run. He also allegedly texted her photos of knives, rifles, a list of Las Vegas casinos and a picture of himself holding a rifle. On Nov. 9, he allegedly texted his wife telling her that if he didn't get his green card, he would kill her. The woman notified authorities that she was afraid for her safety. On Nov. 10, detectives and FBI agents were questioning Li and asked him to unlock his phone. He complied, but then deleted a string of text messages. He was then arrested. He will have his initial appearance in court Thursday. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Transfer files from TiVo to hard drive Dear Webby, Tivo to hard drive. Any ideas, or can it be done? Hope all is well with you and yours, Chris Dear Chris TIVO boxes have an internal hard drive and a port to connect to a computer home network. Depending on the model, the network connection is either USB1, USB2 or Ethernet. If you have a port free on your computer home network, it plugs right in. Have FUN! DearWebby Thanks to Hilla for this story: Sister Mary, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car. As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street. One of the them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm turning Catholic. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. "Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?'' she asked the instructor. "P-u-t-t would be correct,'' he replied. "Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Nonstick Meatloaf Here's a tasty way to keep meatloaf from sticking to the pan. Line your pan with a couple strips of bacon before putting the meatloaf in the pan. It's not cheap, but it sure tastes good. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?" One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury." But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm." Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast." Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..." Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills." Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda..."The Apostles were in one Accord." __________________________________________________ | | Unbelievable Lion Sculpture Made from Hammered Steel |
Thanks to Ross for this warning: I hate it when people forward bogus warnings...but this one is real, and it's important. So please send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list. If someone comes to your front door saying they are conducting a survey on deer ticks and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! IT IS A SCAM; they only want to see you naked. I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so silly now. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
DearWebby, you have occasionally mentioned Skype a few times every year for as long as I have known you. I finally installed it on the insistence of my grand daughter. Found out that my laptop has a camera and a microphone already built in! After an hour of yacking and laughing I got scared about the bill, and found out that video chat is free on Skype. Kicking myself now for not listening to you! We had so much fun! Alice ____________________________________________________ | Today, November 18, in 1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in England. 1865 Samuel L. Clemens published "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County" under the pen name "Mark Twain" in the New York "Saturday Press." 1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time zones. 1903 The U.S. and Panama signed a treaty that granted the U.S. rights to build the Panama Canal. 1916 Douglas Haig, commander of the British Expeditionary Force in World War I, called off the Battle of the Somme in France. The offensive began on July 1, 1916. 1928 The first successful sound-synchronized animated cartoon premiered in New York. It was Walt Disney's "Steamboat Willie," starring Mickey Mouse. 1936 Germany and Italy recognized the Spanish government of Francisco Franco. The USA did the same. 1942 "The Skin of Our Teeth," by Thornton Wilder opened on Broadway. 1951 Chuck Connors (Los Angeles Angels) became the first player to oppose the major league draft. Connors later became the star of the television show "The Rifleman." 1959 William Wyler's "Ben-Hur" premiered at Loew's Theater in New York City's Times Square. 1966 U.S. Roman Catholic bishops did away with the rule against eating meat on Fridays. 1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles "Pete" Conrad Jr. and Alan L. Bean landed on the lunar surface during the second manned mission to the moon. 1976 The parliament of Spain approved a bill that established a democracy after 37 years of dictatorship. 1983 Argentina announced its ability to produce enriched uranium for use in nuclear weapons. 1985 Joe Theismann (Washington Redskins) broke his leg after being hit by Lawrence Taylor (New York Giants). The injury ended Theismann's 12 year National Football League (NFL) career. 1987 The U.S. Congress issued the Iran-Contra Affair report. The report said that President Ronald Reagan bore "ultimate responsibility" for wrongdoing by his aides. 1987 CBS Inc. announced it had agreed to sell its record division to Sony Corp. for about $2 billion. 1988 U.S. President Reagan signed major legislation providing the death penalty for drug traffickers who kill. 1993 The U.S. House of Representatives joined the U.S. Senate in approving legislation aimed at protecting abortion facilities, staff and patients. 1993 Representatives from 21 South African political parties approved a new constitution. 1997 First Union Corp. announced its purchase of CoreStates Financial Corp. for $16.1 billion. To date it was the largest banking deal in U.S. history. 2001 Nintendo released the GameCube home video game console in the United States. 2017 Do smiled. |
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