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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman runs over boyfriend outside topless spot Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 28, in 2010 China's Zhejiang Geely Holding Group Co. signed a deal to buy Ford Motor Co.'s Volvo car unit. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognized wiser than oneself. [info][add][mail][note]Marlene Dietrich (1901 - 1992) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A fifth grader is heading to school one morning when his mother stops him and says, "The neck tag on your shirt is hanging out." "I know," the boy says. "It's a fad some of the guys started." Day in and day out, the tag at the back of his neck sticks out until one morning his mother says, "I can't stand it. Every time I see that, I want to fix it for you," and she gently tucks the tag in place and rumples his hair. The youngster smiles slyly and says, "Yeah, all the girls do, too." ______________________________________________________ A young man who wants to see the world signs on to a tramp steamer to be trained as a helmsman. He masters the classroom instruction, then starts his practical training on the wheel of the vessel. In his first lesson, the mate gives him a heading, and the young fellow holds to it. Then the mate orders, "Come starboard." Pleased at knowing immediately which way starboard is, the young man leaves the helm and walks over to his instructor. The mate has an incredulous look on his face as the helm swings freely. Then, rather gently considering the circumstance, he asks politely, "Could you bring the ship with you?" ______________________________________________________ >From my Lillemor Axel Hagstrom, Lysekil Sweden had just parked his car, to take pictures of birds. He could hear geese and aimed his camera They flew in usual formation and as if posing, for about 20 seconds they formed this unusual pattern, then went back to normal flight. Lillemor. You may have to sit back to see the peace dove formation. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Erikka Christine Hope, 24, Palm Bay, Florida Florida woman runs over boyfriend outside topless spot A 24-year-old Palm Bay woman who police said confronted her boyfriend outside of a topless bar and then ran him over with a car in the parking lot of the business, remains jailed. Erikka Christine Hope was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, battery, leaving the scene of an accident with injuries and possession of a controlled substance, after Palm Bay police were called to Pin Ups Gentlemans Club, 2586 Palm Bay Rd., to investigative reports someone had been run down with a car. Officers tracked Hope back to the home she shared with the man and was taken into custody, reports show. Hope, identified by a tattoo to her leg reading, 'Still Standing,' is being held on a $33,000 bond at the Brevard County Jail Complex in Sharpes. Police said the confrontation took place about 1 a.m. Saturday when Hope drove up to Pin Ups to confront her live-in boyfriend for being at the establishment. Hope spotted the man and an argument took place outside, with Hope either slapping or punching the man in the face in an incident captured mostly on surveillance cameras. Officers said the pair continued to struggle off camera when Hope got into a Toyota and backed out of the parking space before suddenly halting. Police said Hope then aimed the vehicle at the man and struck him, causing him to spill up on the hood of the car and headlong into the windshield. Hope then struck two other vehicles as she attempted to leave the parking lot. Police have not yet released the video. Officers also later found several tablets of Xanax in her car, reports show. She was booked into the Brevard County Jail Complex and will have a new court date on May 3. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Angela Re: Trimming mailboxes Dear Webby I was told to speed up my computer, I have to "trim my mailboxes". How do I do that? Angela Dear Angela First dump the Trash, spam, and the junk folder. Make new mailboxes or folders for IN15, OUT15 Move all mail from the IN box that is from before 2016 into the IN15. Do the same with the OUT mailbox. Everything older than 2016 goes into OUT15. The IN, OUT and TRASH are usually kept in memory, so cleaning those will speed things up the most. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ An elderly retired couple were driving down the East coast, when they stopped in Georgia for a fuel stop. The elderly woman was very hard of hearing, and usually asked her husband to repeat everything. An elderly station attendent came to the car and started filling the fuel tank. Making idle talk, he asked if the man liked the weather, to which the man replied, "very much". What'd he say?, asked the woman. "He asked if I like the weather, and I told hime yes", replied her husband. "Where are you-all headed", asked the attendant. "Oh, we're going to Jacksonville", he repied. "What'd he say?", asked the woman. "He asked "Where we're going, and I told him to Jacksonville", the husband replied. "Where are you-all from", inquired the attendant a few moments later. "Oh, we're from Maine," the man replied. "Ah, I was in Maine for two years while I was in the Air Force, replied the attendant. In fact, I dated a girl from Maine while I was there. It didn't last long though. I have to tell you, that girl was the worst cook I ever knew." "What'd he say?" inquired the woman. "He said he thinks he knows you," replied her husband. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Flatbread Pizza/Calzone By Donna [317 Posts, 335 Comments] I am following a carb restricted diet, but LOVE pizza. I tried using flatbread as my thin crust with great results. It can be rolled up into a Calzone type meal as well! Approximate Time: 10 minutes Ingredients: What you add to the flat bread is entirely up to you. Below are my suggestions: flatbread onions green pepper mushrooms meats or meat substitutes tomatoes, diced canned tomatoes or pizza sauce spices, fresh or dried 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese or slices Flatbread Pizza/Calzone Steps: Simply spray oil on the pan lightly. Add your flatbread. Top with your choice of ingredients. Place in oven at 350 F for only a few minutes to let everything warm and the cheese to melt. Simple! We didn't leave ours in very long. It's really good, and you can get a larger meal for less carbs than one slice of thin slice pizza! ______________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________ A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items. She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with his back turned to her. "Excuse me," she said, "I'm in a hurry. Could you check me out, please?" The clerk turned, stared at her for a second, looked her up and down, smiled and said, "You are looking just fine, don't worry." ___________________________________________________ | MAF Twin Otter Landing - scary |
____________________________________________________ Bob was on vacation, playing the slot machines. It was his first time in a casino, and he wasn't sure how the machines operated. "Excuse me." he said to a casino employee. "How does this work?" The worker showed him how to insert a bill, hit the spin button, and operate the release handle. "And where does the money come out?" he asked. He smiled and motioned to a far wall before saying, "Usually at the ATM." ____________________________________________________ The census taker knocked on Donna's door. She answered all his questions except one. She refused to tell him her age. "But everyone tells their age to the census taker," he said. "Did Miss Maisy Hill, and Miss Daisy Hill tell you their ages?" she asked. "Certainly," he replied "Well, I'm the same age as they are," she snapped. "OK, I'll just write down: 'As old as the Hills'," he told her as he safely stepped out of reach. ____________________________________________________ | 20 optical illusions that will blow you mind! |
| Today on March 28 1797 Nathaniel Briggs patented a washing machine. 1854 The Crimean War began with Britain and France declaring war on Russia. 1898 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a child born in the U.S. to Chinese immigrants was a U.S. citizen. This meant that they could not be deported under the Chinese Exclusion Act. 1905 The U.S. took full control over Dominican revenues. 1908 Automobile owners lobbied the U.S. Congress, supporting a bill that called for vehicle licensing and federal registration. 1910 The first seaplane took off from water at Martinques, France. The pilot was Henri Fabre. 1922 Bradley A. Fiske patented a microfilm reading device. 1930 Constantinople and Angora changed their names to Istanbul and Ankara respectively. 1933 In Germany, the Nazis ordered a ban on all Jews in businesses, professions and schools. 1938 In Italy, psychiatrists demonstrated the use of electric-shock therapy for treatment of certain mental illnesses. 1939 The Spanish Civil War ended as Madrid fell to Francisco Franco. 1941 The Italian fleet was defeated by the British at the Battle of Matapan. 1942 British naval forces raided the Nazi occupied French port of St. Nazaire. 1945 Germany launched the last of the V-2 rockets against England. 1968 The U.S. lost its first F-111 aircraft in Vietnam when it vanished while on a combat mission. North Vietnam claimed that they had shot it down. 1979 A major accident occurred at Pennsylvania's Three Mile Island nuclear power plant. A nuclear power reactor overheated and suffered a partial meltdown. 1986 The U.S. Senate passed $100 million aid package for the Nicaraguan contras. 1990 Jesse Owens received the Congressional Gold Medal from U.S. President George H.W. Bush. 1990 In Britain, a joint Anglo-U.S. "sting" operation ended with the seizure of 40 capacitors, which can be used in the trigger mechanism of a nuclear weapon. 1991 The U.S. embassy in Moscow was severely damaged by fire. 2010 China's Zhejiang Geely Holding Group Co. signed a deal to buy Ford Motor Co.'s Volvo car unit. 2016 Do smiled. |
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