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Todays Bonehead Award: Mother in Daytona Beach attack swung baby 'like a bat'. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 8, in 1099 Christian soldiers on the First Crusade march around Jerusalem. More of what happened on this day in history. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | | |
______________________________________________________ History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. --- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821) --- Broom Hilda The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it. --- Patrick Young "Everyone wants to save the earth. Nobody wants to help mom with the dishes" --- P.J. O'Rourke ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | | |
A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face. (Whack) "What did you do that for?" the man asks. "Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?" The man says, "No, but my wife out in the car still does! By the way, I don't think you should try that with her. She's the county wrestling champion." ______________________________________________________ A man buys a parrot from a pet shop. The parrot is highly intelligent but all he ever does is swear. Day and night the parrot shouts out obscene words and phrases until one day the man decides to teach him a lesson. He is standing in the kitchen with the parrot, constantly swearing, seated on his shoulder. The man tells the parrot that if he doesn`t stop swearing he is going to open the door of his freezer and throw him in. The parrot laughs and tells him that he wouldn`t dare. The parrot ignores the threat and sure enough, the man opens his freezer, grabs the bird by its neck, throws him inside and slams it shut. The bird bangs constantly on the door asking to be let out and promises never to swear again. After about 5 minutes the man agrees to give the bird 1 more chance and places him back on his shoulder. After a few minutes the parrot has warmed up again and asks the man, "What did the chicken do?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mother in Daytona Beach attack swung baby 'like a bat'. Tatyana Allen, 18, Orlando, Florida An Orlando woman accused of swinging her 6-month-old boy like a bat to strike her boyfriend had been arguing with him because he refused to walk with her to the bathroom, Volusia County Beach Safety Ocean Rescue officials said. Daytona Beach police were earlier called to the disturbance on the boardwalk west of the 300 block of Atlantic Avenue before the beach incident, beach officials said. Tatyana Allen, 18, was charged with battery and infliction of physical/mental injury on a child. She was being held Tuesday on $30,000 bail at the Volusia County Branch Jail, records show. According to a report from Beach Safety Ocean Rescue, a large crowd had gathered by the ambulance where the small boy was being treated. Witnesses told beach investigators that they saw Allen walk up to her boyfriend, the baby's father, and punch him several times in the face. Allen then grabbed her baby as a weapon and swung him "like a bat" at her boyfriend, the report states. Allen dropped the baby facedown in the sand and the boyfriend picked up the baby, the report states. "She just beat her like 3-month-old baby, if that, against her boyfriend and threw him in the sand facedown," a caller told a 9-1-1 dispatcher. "The baby was screaming. It was facedown in the sand, it can't hold its head up." The caller said Allen smacked the baby, which was covered in sand. "She is going freaking insane," the caller said on the 9-1- 1 call. Witnesses said "Allen was extremely rough with the baby," investigating officers wrote in their report. As Allen walked up the steps to the boardwalk, the baby's head also struck a railing, the report states. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Alexa RE: Trotux Dear Webby, Thanks Webby....I might try that for her at the weekend when i visit her..if no luck she will be getting her win 7 back! She said she upgraded because she wanted to get it while it was still free, until the end of the month I think Now I have a problem myself..I have somehow managed to get Trotux on my computer and have no luck in removing it so far..can you help? Please :-) Thank you Alexa Dear Alexa I am not going to take credit for how to remove the Trotux hijacker. It is already posted at http://www.bleepingcomputer.com/virus-removal/remove- trotux.com-browser-hijacker Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Thanks to the Folks from Erie for this one: WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY! My face in the mirror Isn't wrinkled or drawn. My house isn't dirty. The cobwebs are gone. My garden looks lovely And so does my lawn. I think I might never Put my glasses back on. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remedies for a Stuffy Nose You need either a neti pot or saline drops, both will help. You can get both at Walmart. By anna My mother taught me this when I was little and had a very stuffy nose: Just take a cloth and wet it with hot or warm water. The hotter the better! Then just hold it up to your nose and breathe in deeply. You should start to feel you nose "un-stuffing". This will not work all day. You may have to repeat this 2-6 times per day. (05/22/2007) By Megan ______________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________ Parents work hard to give their children a better life than they had . . . then complain about how easy the kids have it. ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said. "So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine." ____________________________________________________ Joe was hospitalized for a few days, and his wife reported that his dog really missed him. "She spends the night at the front door, awaiting your return," she said. "What an example of true love," he replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?" "Honey," his wife answered, as she grabbed the rolling pin, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure I'd be waiting for you at the front door." ____________________________________________________ | | Magnificent doors from around the world. |
| Today on July 8 1099 Christian soldiers on the First Crusade march around Jerusalem. 1608 The first French settlement at Quebec was established by Samuel de Champlain. 1663 King Charles II of England granted a charter to Rhode Island. 1693 Uniforms for police in New York City were authorized. 1709 Peter the Great defeated Charles XII at Poltava, in the Ukraine, The Swedish empire was effectively ended. 1755 Britain broke off diplomatic relations with France as their disputes in the New World intensified. 1794 French troops captured Brussels, Belgium. 1815 Louis XVIII returned to Paris after the defeat of Napoleon. 1865 C.E. Barnes patented the machine gun. 1879 The first ship to use electric lights departed from San Francisco, CA. 1881 Edward Berner, druggist in Two Rivers, WI, poured chocolate syrup onto ice cream in a dish. To that time chocolate syrup had only been used for making ice-cream sodas. 1889 John L. Sullivan defeated Jake Kilrain, in the last championship bare-knuckle fight. The fight lasted 75 rounds. 1950 General Douglas MacArthur was named commander-in-chief of United Nations forces in Korea. 1960 The Soviet Union charged Gary Powers with espionage. He was shot down in a U-2 spy plane. 1963 All Cuban-owned assets in the United States were frozen. 1981 The Solar Challenger became the frist solar-powered airplane to cross the English Channel. 1986 Kurt Waldheim was inaugurated as president of Austria despite controversy over his alleged ties to Nazi war crimes. 1997 NATO invited Poland, Hungary, and the Czech Republic to join the alliance in 1999. 2010 The Solar Impulse completed the first 24-hour flight by a solar powered plane. 2016 Do smiled. |
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