Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, April 6 Thank you, Joseph! ______________________________________________________ Today, April 6 in 1909 Americans Robert Peary and Matthew Henson claimed to be the first men to reach the North Pole. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Dopey Virginia woman stole car and crashed it into another car on freeway 14 hours after getting out of jail on bond ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. --- Jack Handey (1949 - ) The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work. --- Richard Bach All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. --- Galileo Galilei _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true", the woman wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm afraid so." The doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS." (In case you are not familiar with Medicare, "No Refills" means that when the bottle runs out, you have to call the doctor for a new presciption, otherwise the payments for her or his BMW run out.) ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Casey Vaughan, 35, Riverside, Virginia Dopey Virginia woman stole car and crashed it into another car on freeway 14 hours after getting out of jail on bond The woman who crashed a stolen Tesla into another car on Interstate 95 took said she took meth before passing out Wednesday morning, according to Crime Insider sources. State police officials said the wreck happened on I-95 between Chippenham Parkway and Willis Road exit around 5:10 a.m. Crime Insider sources said 35-year-old Casey Vaughan stole a red Tesla from an acquaintance. Those sources said she claimed she ingested what she believed was meth before she passed out while driving down the interstate. That is when troopers said the Tesla, which was in the interstate's left lane, changed lanes and rear-ended a Toyota. As a result, troopers said the Toyota flipped over and the Tesla slammed into a guardrail. Officials said the man driving the Toyota, who was wearing his seat belt, was transported to an area hospital with serious but not life-threatening injuries. Vaughan, who was also wearing her seat belt, was transported to an area hospital with minor injuries, troopers said. When Vaughan was released the hospital, she was arrested and charged with one count of the following: felony larceny of a vehicle, felony possession of a schedule I and II drug, driving under the influence of drugs and driving on a revoked license. Online records show Vaughan was released from Riverside Regional Jail, where she was being held on separate drug charges, 14 hours before the crash. Todd Stone, a legal analyst for CBS 6, said cases of people re- offending so quickly upon release do happen, but are rare. Vaughan has multiple drug and driving offenses on her records over the years. Stone said the context of this latest incident will impact her case. "Judges also differentiate between people who use substances and commit other crimes, whether it be larcenies and assaults or whatever, compared to people who just use drugs and don't commit crimes," Stone explained. Vaughan is being held without bond at the Chesterfield County Jail. From: David Re: Unexpected WORD update nagger Dear DearWebby Now a Tech Question. When I go to some web sites, I get a pop up that tries to upgrade my Microsoft Word program. Of course I don't let it, but I was wondering if this was some type of spyware they are trying to download or what? 4) Thanks for another great year of the Humor Letter. David Debby Dear David I still have MS WORD on my computer, though I don't use it any more since I upgraded to Open Office. However, I have never seen any nagger about upgrading MS WORD. Since that nagger, that you refer to, only appears when you go to certain web sites, I would suspect those certain web sites of trying to infect your computer. What sites produce that nagger? Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. "How was your blind date?" a college student asked her 21-year-old roommate. "Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." "Wow! That's a very expensive classic car. What's so bad about that?" "He was the original owner." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
You've heard about the gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake? The old legal lions gave them a fight for their lives and their money. The gang was very happy to finally escape. "It ain't so bad," one crook noted, "We got $25 between us." The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers! We had $100 when we broke in! ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Teaching a Child Their Left From Right An easy way to teach a child their left from right is to tell them to put both hands in front of them with their thumbs extended and other four fingers together. The hand that forms an "L" is their left hand. Works for adults too! Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | The best of People Are Awesome |
___________________________________________________ >From Ann Heading off to college at the age of 40, I was a bit self- conscious about my advancing years. One morning I complained to my husband that I was the oldest student in my class. "Even the professor is younger than I am," I said. "Yeah," he said optimistically, "but look at it from my point of view. At my age I never thought I would be fooling around with a college girl again!" ___________________________________________________ Thanks to the Vickster for sending this story: The first time I heard this story was when I was a fishing guide on a wilderness lake in the Yukon in 1971. I laughed so hard I scared the fish! This old fisherman would go out in his boat every morning and come back about an hour later with a cooler filled with fish. The game warden got suspicious as to how the old guy always caught so many fish in such a short time. So he invited himself fishing with the old guy. They went to the middle of the lake, the old guy pulls out a stick of dynamite and throws it overboard. Boom! Fish start floating to the surface and the old guy starts scooping them up in his net. The game warden says, "You can't do that. That's illegal." The old guy quietly lights another stick of dynamite, tosses it to the game warden and says, "Your turn!" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
An exhausted hunter out in the wilds stumbled into a camp. "Am I glad to see you," he said, "I've been lost for three days!" "Don't get too excited, friend," the other hunter replied. "I've been lost for three weeks." ___________________________________________________ | Today April 6 in 1199 English King Richard I was killed by an arrow at the siege of the castle of Chaluz in France. 1607 An expedition led by Captain Christopher Newport arrived at the Spanish colony of Puerto Rico for supplies before continuing on their journey. On May 14, they went ashore and founded Jamestown, Virginia, as the first permanent English colony in America. 1652 Jan van Riebeeck established a settlement at Cape Town, South Africa. 1789 The first U.S. Congress began regular sessions at the Federal Hall in New York City. 1814 Granted sovereignty in the island of Elba and a pension from the French government, Napoleon Bonaparte abdicates at Fountainebleau. He was allowed to keep the title of emperor. 1830 Joseph Smith and five others organized the Mormon Church in western New York. 1830 Relations between the Texans and Mexico reached a new low when Mexico would not allow further emigration into Texas by settlers from the U.S. 1862 The American Civil War Battle of Shiloh began in Tennessee. 1865 At the Battle of Sayler's Creek, a third of Lee's army was cut off by Union troops pursuing him to Appomattox. 1875 Alexander Graham Bell was granted a patent for the multiple telegraph, which sent two signals at the same time. 1896 The first modern Olympic Games began in Athens, Greece. 1903 French Army Nationalists were revealed for forging documents to guarantee a conviction for Alfred Dryfus. 1909 Americans Robert Peary and Matthew Henson claimed to be the first men to reach the North Pole. 1916 Charlie Chaplin became the highest-paid film star in the world when he signed a contract with Mutual Film Corporation for $675,000 a year. He was 26 years old. 1917 The U.S. Congress approved a declaration of war on Germany and entered World War I on the Allied side. 1924 Four planes left Seattle on the first successful flight around the world. 1938 The United States recognized the German conquest of Austria. 1941 German forces invaded Greece and Yugoslavia. 1953 Iranian Premier Mossadegh demanded that the shah's power be reduced. 1957 Trolley cars in New York City completed their final runs. 1965 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson authorized the use of ground troops in combat operations in Vietnam. 1967 In South Vietnam, 1,500 Viet Cong attacked Quangtri and freed 200 prisoners. 1981 A Yugoslav Communist Party official confirmed reports of intense ethnic riots in Kosovo. 1983 The U.S. Veteran's Administration announced it would give free medical care for conditions traceable to radiation exposure to more than 220,000 veterans who participated in nuclear tests from 1945 to 1962. 1985 William J. Schroeder became the first artificial heart recipient to be discharged from the hospital. 1988 Mathew Henson was awarded honors in Arlington National Cemetery. Henson had discovered the North Pole with Robert Peary. 1998 Citicorp and Travelers Group announced that they would be merging. The new creation was the largest financial-services conglomerate in the world. The name would become Citigroup. 1998 Federal researchers in the U.S. announced that daily tamoxifen pills could cut breast cancer risk among high-risk women. 1998 Pakistan successfully tested medium-range missiles capable of attacking neighboring India. 2019 Do smiled. |
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