Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, February 14 Thank you Chubs!!! Happy Valentines Day! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Pedophilia website operator kidnapped Fresno girl, arrested while flying to Virginia ___________________________________________________ Today, February 14 in 1946 ENIAC (Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer) was unveiled. The device, built at the University of Pennsylvania, was the world's first general purpose electronic computer. ____________________________________________________ Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life. --- Robert Byrne "To be or not to be is not a question of compromise. Either you be or you don't be." --- Golda Meir ____________________________________________________ >From Eddy For those of you who may have been following my long divorce saga, I wanted to tell you that at one time I attempted to reconcile with her. I said to her, "You know I love you. Say those three little words that will make me walk on air." She said, "Go hang yourself." ____________________________________________________ A woman goes to the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. The obit editor informs her that there is a charge of 50 cents per word. She pauses, reflects, and then she says, well then, let it read: "Fred Brown died." Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a seven-word minimum for all obituaries. She thinks it over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read,- "Fred Brown died, golf clubs for sale" ____________________________________________________ Easter Lily ___________________________________________________ Sign: "Bored Room" Boss to painter: "I don't care what my staff told you, it's spelled b o a r d." __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nathan Larson, 41, Fresno, California, USA Pedophilia website operator kidnapped Fresno girl, arrested while flying to Virginia On Thursday, Nathan Larson walked through Fresno Yosemite International Airport for the second time. The first time, authorities say he was kidnapping a 12- year-old Fresno girl he had been grooming for months. But this time he was escorted by Fresno County Sheriff's deputies to face federal charges in the Central Valley. "He is absolutely a predator and one of the worst we've dealt with in this task force," says Fresno County Sheriff's Office Lt. Brandon Purcell. Detectives extradited the 41-year-old from Denver on Thursday, which is where police initially found him and the abducted child. Investigators learned Larson met the victim through social media in October, and flew to Fresno from Virginia in December. He persuaded the victim to leave her home, and told her to act disabled at the airport to ensure she wouldn't speak with anyone. Central Valley Internet Crimes against Children officials say since news of his arrest, more victims are speaking out. "We have received dozens and dozens of tips. We've had more victims come forward," says Purcell. Investigators say they know of at least half a dozen more young victims that Larson may have reached out to, but there could be additional victims in other states and overseas. "As of right now, we have found victims in the UK, Ireland, and Canada. We know he's manipulated them to come into the country," says Purcell. Detectives say based on their investigation, Larson is a white supremacist and runs a website encouraging the raping of children. He ran for political office in 2017 but lost. Detectives say they're learning more as they go through the vast and disturbing evidence. "It was all online. Everything he was doing was online. That's how he was able to expand his reach to so many victims so quickly," says Purcell. RELATED: Fresno Co. detectives get more leads in case against alleged pedophile accused of kidnapping 12-year-old girl Larson faces several sex crime charges involving a minor, and kidnapping. He could face a life sentence and is expected to have his first day in court next Wednesday. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Vin Re: Unwanted tool bars Dear Webby Every program I install seems to come with some silly toolbar that has maybe one icon on it that I use and half a dozen that are totally useless. If they have so little confidence in their program that they feel they have to provide an UN-install icon on prime, easy to get to, toolbar space, why sell it in the first place? How can I restrict all those silly toolbars to just one icon? Vin DearVin You can't. Just delete all those silly little toolbars. Make desktop shortcuts to the programs that you need, then make a desktop folder and drag them in there. Next you drag that folder into a subdirectory, and make one desktop shortcut icon for that. That way YOU control which icons are taking up space. Have FUN! DearWebby Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" counted the second boy. "That's nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his butt. I know, 'cos I've seen the nicotine stains on his undies." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ The social studies teacher had just finished a unit on war and peace. "How many of you," he asked, "would say you're opposed to war?" Not surprisingly, all hands went up. The teacher asked, "Who'll give us the reason for being opposed to war?" A large, bored-looking boy in the back of the room raised his hand. "Johnny?" the teacher said. "I hate war," Johnny said, "because wars make history, and I hate History!" ____________________________________________ President Trump was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. "Mr. President," said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, "there's good news and bad news." "Oh, no..." muttered the President, "Well, let me have the bad news first." "The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet." "Gosh, and the good news?" "The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil." ____________________________________________ Senior's Pick-up Lines: * "What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like...where exactly are we again?" * "Do you smell that? That's either love, or I used too much ointment this morning." * "Yes, I'm 92... but I have the body of a 78-year-old." * "WHO'S your granddaddy?" * "Your beautiful blue eyes are like limpid sapphire pools. Your blue hair, too." * "Hey babe, looking for a good time? How's about coming home with me and... Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 14 in 1803 Moses Coates received a patent for the apple parer. 1849 The first photograph of a U.S. President, while in office, was taken by Matthew Brady in New York City. President James Polk was the subject of the picture. 1876 Alexander Graham Bell filed an application for a patent for the telephone. It was officially issued on March 7, 1876. 1889 In Los Angeles, CA, oranges began their first trip to the east. 1899 The U.S. Congress approved voting machines for use in federal elections. 1900 Russia imposed tighter imperial control over Finland in response to an international petition for Finland's freedom. 1900 In South Africa, British Gen. Roberts invaded Orange Free State with 20,000 troops. 1912 The first diesel engine submarine was commissioned in Groton, CT. 1929 The "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" took place in Chicago, IL. Seven gangsters who were rivals of Al Capone were killed. 1932 The U.S. won the first bobsled competition at the Winter Olympic Games at Lake Placid, NY. 1940 The first porpoise born in captivity arrived at Marineland in Florida. 1945 Peru, Paraguay, Chile and Ecuador joined the United Nations. 1946 ENIAC (Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer) was unveiled. The device, built at the University of Pennsylvania, was the world's first general purpose electronic computer. 1961 Lawrencium, element 103, was first produced in Berkely, CA. 1983 A 6-year-old boy became the first person to receive a heart and liver transplants in the same operation. 1985 Cable News Network (CNN) reporter Jeremy Levin was freed. He had been being held in Lebanon by extremists. 1989 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini called on Muslims to kill Salman Rushdie because of his novel "The Satanic Verses." 1989 The first satellite of the Global Positioning System was placed into orbit around Earth. 1989 Union Carbide agreed to pay $470 million to the government of India. The court-ordered settlement was a result of the 1984 Bhopal gas leak disaster. 1997 Astronauts on the space shuttle Discovery began a series of spacewalks that were required to overhaul the Hubble Space Telescope. 1998 U.S. authorities officially announced that Eric Rudolph was a suspect in a bombing of an abortion clinic in Alabama. 2002 Sylvester Stallone filed a lawsuit against Kenneth Starr. The suit alleged that Starr had given bad advice about selling Planet Hollywood stock. 2005 The video-sharing website YouTube was activated. 2021 Do smiled. |
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