Good Morning, Do, Today is Sunday, September 24 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Louisiana man arrested for killing two black men may have been racially motivated. Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, Sept 24 in 1869 Thousands of businessmen were financially ruined after a panic on Wall Street. The panic was caused by an attempt to corner the gold market by Jay Gould and James Fisk. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. --- Abba Eban (1915 - 2002) He who lives without folly isn't so wise as he thinks. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld No man is a failure who is enjoying life. --- William Feather ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ SPELL CHECQUER Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the error rite Its rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it I am shore your pleased two no Its letter perfect awl the weigh My chequer tolled me sew. _____________________________________________________ Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take 10 yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then teasingly held it out. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a grinning little old lady standing beside her. "Grandma is paying for it," she smiled. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can't see very well these days." The Doctor fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed. The doctor replies, "What's the problem? Didn't the glasses help you?" "The glasses are fine doc, but I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years! ______________________________________________________ Bushkill Falls, Pennsylvania _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kenneth Gleason, 23, Baton Rouge, Louisiana Louisiana man arrested for killing two black men may have been racially motivated. A Louisiana man accused of killing two black men in what may have been racially motivated attacks last week reportedly had a copy of an Adolf Hitler speech in his home. A police source, speaking to The Associated Press, confirmed the unsettling discovery by authorities at the Baton Rouge home of Kenneth Gleason. The 23-year-old, reportedly an Eagle Scout, faces two counts of first-degree murder for the separate shootings. Authorities declined to comment on the discovery of a speech by the Nazi leader or on a possible motive in the killings at a Tuesday news conference, saying only that they're looking into all possibilities at this time, including whether the killings were motivated by racism. Hitler had made thousands of speeches and until he went nuts after England turned his traditional European border re- alignements into a World War, he was considered quite smart even though he was a socialist. He was even New York Times Man Of The Year. Some people analyzed his speeches and compared them to Hillary`s campaign speeches. Until he went nuts, his speeches were mostly about socialism and rebuilding after WWI. Baton Rouge police Sgt. L'Jean McKneely had previously told the AP that there was a strong possibility that it could be racially motivated. Gleason was arrested over the weekend on unrelated drug charges after authorities said they linked his red car to the deaths of 59-year-old Bruce Cofield on Sept. 12 and 49- year-old Donald Smart on Sept. 14. Police had said that the victims, who were shot first from a car and then again at close range, appeared targeted at random. Gleason posted bail Sunday on the drug charges before being arrested again in the slaying investigation as well as for suspicion of aggravated criminal damage for a third shooting in which a gunman fired at the home of a black family in Gleason's neighborhood. Police said shell casings recovered from the scenes matched and that Gleason's DNA was found on some of them. A conviction on the murder charges could bring a death sentence, said East Baton Rouge District Attorney Hillar Moore III, who described the attacks as cold and calculated. Had there not been a swift conclusion to this case, I feel confident that this killer probably would have killed again, said Interim Police Chief Jonny Dunnam. Gleason, who was seen wearing what appeared to be a T-shirt for the Boy Scouts' rugged Philmont Scout Ranch in New Mexico during his arrest Tuesday, earned the top Eagle Scout rank in 2012 after completing a construction project for a United Methodist Church, according to The Advocate in Baton Rouge. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Adding .ico picture to email Dear Webby, As you can see, after all these years thanks to you, I am able to add a signature to my Eudora e-mails. I failed to copy an .ico of my dog to the signature. How do I do this? Thanks. Bill Dear Bill You have to use standard picture formats. .ico is not standard, it is actually .bmp, a totally obsolete format from the 80's, but Microsoft used it in Windows 1, and has not figured out yet how to change that to a standard format. A 640 x 480 .bmp picture filled an entire 3.5" floppy disk. I used to travel with two shoe boxes filled with disks to use with my camera. That is how obsolete that format is. You can rename that .ico picture to .bmp, and then use any decent graphics program to convert it to .jpg Then you can use it in your signature block just like the mug shot that I use in my signature block. Have FUN! DearWebby A psychiatrist who had tired of listening to the assorted troubles and dreams that poured from his consulting couch, rigged up a tape recorder. Explaining to his patients that he could analyze a case better this way, he would turn on the machine, tell the patient to keep talking and quietly slip out for a beer. This worked well for a while, but one day he looked up from his beer to see the patient who was supposed to be upstairs on the couch. "What are you doing here?" asked the doctor. "Well, Doc," said the patient, "I've taped my dreams and stuff for the last couple of days, and now my tape recorder is upstairs talking to your tape recorder." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Grease Spills In The Oven If grease or oil spills in your oven, quickly toss some salt on the stain. Once the oven has cooled off and the salt has dried, brush it out of your oven. Most of the stain should be gone. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Someone's had way too much time! |
____________________________________________________ Harry the complainer and his wife happened to pass away on the same day and as they awaited their interview with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, they were approached by an angel. The angle said, "Hello, I am your host, and welcome to Heaven. In a few moments you'll be entering through our famous Pearly Gates for the most fantastic adventure you've ever experienced. You'll have a chauffeur driven limousine service anywhere in the universe, plus deluxe accommodations at our luxury hotel with all the amenities: pool, Jacuzzi, indoor tennis courts, and more. Then after your day of relaxation, dine at any of our 5-star restaurants savoring the finest of any cuisine known to man." Harry gave his wife a shove in the ribs with his elbow and said, "If it wasn't for you and that stupid oat bran, we would have been here ten years ago!" __________________________________________________ | | Remember "I Love Lucy?" Glamorous photos of a beautiful young Lucille Ball. |
___________________________________________________ Two cab drivers met and one asked the other, "Hey, why do you have one side of your cab painted red and the other side blue?" The other driver said, "When I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ From Chuck Enjoy your jokes. My son left for Iraq yesterday. We have a hard time talking (just not much to talk about), so I pick a joke or two from your list and send them to him. That way even if there isn't much to say, I can send him a little humor. Thanks. Chuck Hi Chuck You can tell your son that I am thinking about him and am grateful for what he does for us. You can also tell him about the red notice I put up every Friday to wear a bit of red to show support for the troops. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ | Today, Sept 24, in 1869 Thousands of businessmen were financially ruined after a panic on Wall Street. The panic was caused by an attempt to corner the gold market by Jay Gould and James Fisk. 1929 The first all-instrument flight took place in New York when Lt. James H. Doolittle guided a Consolidated NY2 Biplane over Mitchell Field. 1933 "Roses and Drums" was heard on WABC in New York City. It was the first dramatic presentation for radio. 1938 Don Budge became the first tennis player to win all four of the major titles when he won the U.S. Tennis Open. He had already won the Australian Open, the French Open and the British Open. 1957 U.S. President Eisenhower sent federal troops to Little Rock, AR, to enforce school integration. 1960 The first nuclear powered aircraft carrier was launched. The USS Enterprise set out from Newport News, VA. 1961 "The Bullwinkle Show" premiered in prime time on NBC- TV. The show was originally on ABC in the afternoon as "Rocky and His Friends." 1963 The U.S. Senate ratified a treaty that limited nuclear testing. The treaty was between the U.S., Britain, and the Soviet Union. 1995 Three decades of Israeli occupation of West Bank cities ended with the signing of a pact by Israel and the PLO. 1996 The United States, represented by President Clinton, and the world's other major nuclear powers signed a Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty to end all testing and development of nuclear weapons. 1998 The U.S. Federal Reserve released into circulation $2 billion in new harder-to-counterfeit $20 bills. 2001 U.S. President George W. Bush froze the assets of 27 suspected terrorists and terrorist groups. 2017 Do smiled. |
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