Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, June 27 ___________________________________________________ Today, June 27 in  1967 Two hundred people were arrested during a race riot in Buffalo, NY.  _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Woman Who Hid Gun In Vagina Gets 25 Years  ______________________________________________________ 
 If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
   
 _____________________________________________________ The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget. --- Thomas Szasz _____________________________________________________ These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Q: Are you sexually active? A: No, I just lie there. Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo. Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere. _____________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ >From Mary Ellen The local bookstore had this huge display with a sign saying, "Newly Translated From the Original French: 37 Mating Positions." The book was already wrapped in blain brown wrapper and I just had to buy one. Once safely at home, I opened it and found that I had just purchased an expensive book about . . . chess. ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Christie Dawn Harris, 28, Pontotoc, Oklahoma, USA 
 Woman Who Hid Gun In Vagina Gets 25 Years 
 Loaded .22 was found during post-arrest strip search The Oklahoma woman who had a loaded handgun concealed in her vagina when she was arrested earlier this year on a drug charge has been sentenced to 25 years in state prison, according to court records. Christie Dawn Harris, 28, last week entered no contest pleas to three felony counts during a hearing in Pontotoc County District Court. Harris, whose rap sheet already includes multiple felony convictions, copped on June 27 to possession of methamphetamine with intent to distribute, gun possession, and bringing contraband into jail. Judge Steven Kessinger sentenced Harris to serve 25 years on each count, with the penalties to run concurrently. He also ordered her to pay $1363 in court costs and fees. Harris, seen in the adjacent mug shot, was arrested in March after a drug dog alerted to a vehicle in which she and another woman were seated (the car was parked outside a closed restaurant at 3:45 AM). A subsequent search of the Toyota Yaris turned up meth, drug paraphernalia, a .25 caliber semi-automatic pistol, and a loaded magazine. While being transported to jail, Harris told a cop several times that she needed to go to the bathroom, according to an Ada Police Department report. During processing at the jail, Harris balked when directed to lower her underwear so that a female officer could check for contraband. She advised that she was on her period and did not want to, cops noted. After Harris complied with police, Officer Kathy Unbewust reported, I observed at that time a wooden and metal item sticking out from her vagina area. Unbewust then pulled the item from her vagina, and found it to be a 5 shot revolver with rounds in the chamber. The handgun, which was disassembled by cops, is seen in the above left evidence photo. Investigators subsequently identified the weapon as a Freedom Arms .22-caliber handgun, which was loaded with three live rounds and one spent shell. The police report notes that gun located in suspect vagina.  DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Dave Re: Utube downloader   Dear Webby I hope all is well. I know in the past you have recommended a program to download videos off of youtube but I cannot remember the name of it. If you could let me know it would be appreciated. Thank you (and thank you for my morning smile). Dave  Hi Dave How are you? I still remember the computers you sold me in 2000. What are you up to these days? For downloading Utube videos, try https://en.savefrom.net/1-youtube-video-downloader-2/ Have FUN! DearWebby 

 If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
   
 _____________________________________________ 
 A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages. She said, "Les' see now, there's the twins, Sally and Billy, they're eighteen. And the twins, Seth & Beth, they're sixteen. And the twins, Penny and Jenny, they're fourteen." "Hold on!" said the census taker, "Did you get twins every time?" The woman answered, "Heck no, there were hundreds of times we didn't get nothin'." _____________________________________________ I was at the store the other day when the manager nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was escorting the suspect to the office when the shoplifter broke away and tried to run. After a scuffle, the manager slammed the guy against the wall. He looked up to see a number of surprised customers staring at him. "It's ok, folks, everything's fine," he reassured them. "This guy just tried going through the express line with more than ten items. He won't be hanged until the weekend." ____________________________________________ Two friends and I were sitting in the outside area of bar & grill when a police car pulled a two-door car over right in front of the place. Both officers get out and we hear the cop closest to us say something about "They gotta be drunk!" The first cop approaches the car on the driver's side, the other cop on the passenger side. The first cop orders all the occupants out; there were 5. The second cop walks past the passenger door and waits. The front passenger gets out, then the back seat three. Then, the driver crawls over the console and out the passenger door. The driver is eyeing the first cop and nudges the second cop with his elbow -- without looking at who is behind him -- and with a drunken slur says "Jesh tell'em you wuz drivin'. I'm WAY too drunk!" 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today June 27 in 0363 The death of Roman Emperor Julian brought an end to the Pagan Revival. 1693 "The Ladies' Mercury" was published by John Dunton in London. It was the first women's magazine and contained a "question and answer" column that became known as a "problem page." 1743 King George II of England defeated the French at Dettingen, Bavaria, in the War of the Austrian Succession. 1787 Edward Gibbon completed "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire." It was published the following May. 1801 British forces defeated the French and took control of Cairo, Egypt. 1847 New York and Boston were linked by telegraph wires. 1871 The yen became the new form of currency in Japan. 1885 Chichester Bell and Charles S. Tainter applied for a patent for the gramophone. It was granted on May 4, 1886. 1893 The New York stock market crashed. By the end of the year 600 banks and 74 railroads had gone out of business. 1905 The battleship Potemkin succumbed to a mutiny on the Black Sea. 1918 Two German pilots were saved by parachutes for the first time. 1929 Scientists at Bell Laboratories in New York revealed a system for transmitting television pictures. 1931 Igor Sikorsky filed U.S. Patent 1,994,488, which marked the breakthrough in helicopter technology. 1942 The FBI announced the capture of eight Nazis, who had been put ashore from a submarine on New York's Long Island. 1944 During World War II, American forces completed their capture of the French port of Cherbourg from the German army. 1950 Two days after North Korea invaded South Korea, U.S. President Truman ordered the Air Force and Navy into the Korean conflict. The United Nations Security Council had asked for member nations to help South Korea repel an invasion from the North. 1954 The world's first atomic power station opened at Obninsk, near Moscow. 1955 The state of Illinois enacted the first automobile seat belt legislation. 1967 The world's first cash dispenser was installed at Barclays Bank in Enfield, England. The device was invented by John Sheppard-Barron. The machine operated on a voucher system and the maximum withdrawal was $28. 1967 Two hundred people were arrested during a race riot in Buffalo, NY. 1969 Patrons at the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York City's Greenwich Village, clashed with police. This incident is considered to be the birth of the homosexual rights movement. 1972 Bobby Hull signed a 10-year hockey contract for $2,500,000. He became a player and coach of the Winnipeg Jets of the World Hockey Association. 1973 Former White House counsel John W. Dean told the Senate Watergate Committee about an "enemies list" that was kept by the Nixon White House. 1973 Nixon vetoed a Senate ban on bombing Cambodia. 1980 U.S. President Carter signed legislation reviving draft registration. 1985 Route 66 was officially removed from the United States Highway System. 1985 The U.S. House of Representatives voted to limit the use of combat troops in Nicaragua. 1986 The World Court ruled that the U.S. had broken international law by aiding Nicaraguan rebels. 1995 Qatar's Crown Prince Sheik Hamad bin Khalifa al-Thani ousted his father in a bloodless palace coup. 1998 An English woman was impregnated with her dead husband's sperm after two-year legal battle over her right to the sperm. 1998 In a live joint news conference in China U.S. President Clinton and President Jiang Zemin offered an uncensored airing of differences on human rights, freedom, trade and Tibet. 2005 In Alaska's Denali National Park, a roughly 70-million year old dinosaur track was discovered. The track was form a three-toed Cretaceous period dinosaur. 2020 Do smiled. 
 
If you can help with the cost of the
 Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  

Go to TOP  
 Well, Do , that's all for today.

 Have FUN !
 Dear Webby from Webby.com 

Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter 

 
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
 please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:  
 Thanks for your votes!
 

 
 ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them 
 in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
 
 If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name, 
 or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me. 
 I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly 
 from then on. 

 If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't 
 have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me. 
 I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request. 

 To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com 

 If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time, 
 then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription. 
 If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
 You can also UNsubscribe there. 

 If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter, 
 please unsubscribe by clicking the link below: 
 You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
 newsletter@newslettercollector.com 
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion 
 Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter