Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, February 10 Today's Bonehead Award: Texas grandma defends herself from machete-wielding clown masked robbers with just grand child's scooter. ______________________________________________________ Today, February 10 in 1935 The Pennsylvania Railroad began passenger service with its electric locomotive. The engine was 79-1/2 feet long and weighed 230 tons. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
I would rather spend an hour among the notorious than two minutes with the dull. --- Stephanie Barron Who is wise? He that learns from every One. Who is powerful? He that governs his Passions. Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody. --- Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790) He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery. --- Harold Wilson and Governments ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Recently in Traffic Court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there. The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would. The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you 57 dollars. Next..." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife sat down in the den with her favourite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself. "How romantic!" she thought. Two-and-a-half hours later, she was still waiting for dinner to be served. She tiptoed to the kitchen and found it a colossal mess.Her harried husband, removing something indescribable from the smoking oven, saw her in the doorway. "Almost ready!" he vowed. "Sorry it took me so long -- I had to refill the pepper shaker." "Why, honey, how long could that have taken you?" "More'n an hour, I reckon. Wasn't easy stuffin' it through those dumb little holes." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jose Lugo, 35, Luis Jimenez, 32, Texas City, Texas Texas grandma defends herself from machete-wielding clown masked robbers with just grand child's scooter. A grandmother in Texas City daringly defended herself from masked attackers by utilizing her grandchild's scooter. Aretha Cardinal and her husband, Joseph Nelson, were reportedly approached by robbers in clown masks with red noses and orange hair while sitting in their parked truck in their driveway in the early morning on February 1. One assailant allegedly held a machete to Nelson's throat while making threats on his life. Nelson reportedly fought back and wrestled the blade from the attacker's grasp, while Cardinal then defended herself by grabbing her child's two-wheel scooter and hitting the alleged mugger with it until he relented, reports local outlet. Nelson remembers being shocked by the incident. [I] couldn't believe what was happening," Nelson said to ABC13 of Houston, Texas. "He reached his hand through the window, put it on my throat like this and I'm like 'Dude, you serious, you trying to rob me with a machete?' Cardinal then pursued the men with the scooter as her weapon, hitting them and their car with it and even breaking a window until they drove away, according to Click2Houston.com. Cardinal recalled her stunning defense. "Any weapon is good for me if I can get you off me and my husband, that's what I'm going to do. I used the scooter, broke it in half," said Cardinal. The couple's daughter called the police shortly thereafter, according to The Epoch Times. The robbers must have gotten nicely tenderized since gramma busted the scooter on their heads. Good for Gramma! The aggressors have been identified by police as Luis Jimenez, 32, and Jose Lugo, 35. They have since been charged with aggravated robbery. The two are now being held at the Galveston County Jail. Bond was set at $100,000 for each of them. From: Harold Re: UV filter for digital cameras Dear DearWebby, I read that digital cameras don't need UV filters even on bright days. Is that true? Harold Dear Harold While it is true that you probably won't be able to tell the difference in the resulting picture, with a good camera I still recommend UV filters. They are cheap, since they are just plain window glass, but they protect your expensive lens from dust and scratches. Since the UV filter is just regular glass, you can clean it with anything without worrying about delicate lens coatings. That alone is worth the $3 - $5 for the UV filter. If you have a UV filter from a previous camera, and it is a bit too big, you can just glue it to the lens barrel. Regular crazy-glue applied with a tooth pick works fine. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Two doctors and an HMO manager are killed in a train wreck and line up at the Pearly Gates for admission to heaven. Saint Peter asks them to identify themselves. One doctor steps forward and says, "I was a pediatric spine surgeon. I helped hundreds of kids overcome their deformities." Saint Peter says, "Enter." The other doctor says, "I was a psychiatrist. I helped rehabilitate thousands of people." Saint Peter nods and invites him into heaven. The third applicant steps forward and says, "I was an HMO manager. I helped countless people get cost-effective health care." Saint Peter tells him, "You can come in, too." As the HMO manager walks by, Saint Peter adds, "But you can only stay for 3 days." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist." Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Frugal Toys - Cardboard Boxes Use small and large cardboard boxes to help your child make a playhouse, fort, or space ship. You can easily cut windows, doors and then use pens or paint to decorate the outside. Make the project outside on a nice day to avoid messes indoors. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Flashback - Remember Twiggy? |
___________________________________________________ Working as a computer instructor for an adult-education pro- gram at a community college, I am keenly aware of the gap in computer knowledge between my younger and older students. My observations were confirmed the day a new student walked into our library area and glanced at the encyclopedia volumes stacked on a bookshelf. "What are all these books?" he asked. Somewhat surprised, I replied that they were encyclopedias. "Really?" he said. Someone printed out the whole DVD?" ___________________________________________________ My little niece, Kelly, went with a neighbor girl to church for First Communion practice. The pastor has the children cup their hands, and when he gives them the "Host," in this case, a piece of bread, he says, "God be with you." Apparently this made quite an impression on my niece. She came home and told her mother to cup her hands and bend down. Kelly took a piece of bread from her sandwich, placed it in her mother's hands, and whispered, in her most angelic voice, "God will get you." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
"That was nice of you to set up a blind date for your ex- boyfriend." "I know, but I don't hold any grudges." "I'm surprised he trusted you enough to agree to go out with her." "Well, I had to swear to him she's Jennifer Lopez's double." "Wow! Is that true?" "I wouldn't lie. She's twice her weight and twice her age." ___________________________________________________ | Today February 10 in 1763 The Treaty of Paris ended the French and Indian War. In the treaty France ceded Canada to England. 1840 Britain's Queen Victoria married Prince Albert of Saxe Coburg-Gotha. 1846 Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints began their exodus to the west from Illinois. 1863 In New York City, two of the world's most famous midgets, General Tom Thumb and Lavinia Warren were married. 1863 In Virginia, the first fire extinguisher patent was issued to Alanson Crane. 1870 The YWCA was founded in New York City. 1879 The electric arc light was used for the first time. 1923 Ink paste was manufactured for the first time by the Standard Ink Company. 1925 The first waterless gas storage tank was placed in service in Michigan City, IN. 1933 The singing telegram was introduced by the Postal Telegraph Company of New York City. 1933 Primo Carnera knocked out Ernie Schaaf in round 13 at Madison Square Garden in New York City. Schaaf died as a result of the knockout punch. 1934 The first imperforated, ungummed sheets of postage stamps were issued by the U.S. Postal Service in New York City. 1935 The Pennsylvania Railroad began passenger service with its electric locomotive. The engine was 79-1/2 feet long and weighed 230 tons. 1942 The Normandie, the former French liner, capsized in New York Harbor. The day before the ship had caught fire while it was being fitted for the U.S. Navy. 1949 "Death of a Salesman" opened at the Morocco Theatre in New York City. 1962 The Soviet Union exchanged captured American U2 pilot Francis Gary Powers for the Soviet spy Rudolph Ivanovich Abel being held by the U.S. 1981 The Las Vegas Hilton hotel-casino caught fire. Eight people were killed and 198 were injured. 1989 Ron Brown became the first African American to head a major U.S. political party when he was elected chairman of the Democratic National Committee. 1990 South African President F.W. de Klerk announced that black activist Nelson Mandela would be released the next day after 27 years in captivity. 1992 Mike Tyson was convicted in Indianapolis of raping Desiree Washington, a Miss Black American contestant. 1997 The U.S. Army suspended its top-ranking enlisted soldier, Army Sgt. Major Gene McKinney following allegations of sexual misconduct. McKinney was convicted of obstruction of justice and acquitted of 18 counts alleging sexual harassment of six military women. 1998 A man became the first to be convicted of committing a hate crime in cyberspace. The college dropout had e-mailed threats to Asian students. 1998 Voters in Maine repealed a 1997 gay rights law. Maine was the first state to abandon such legislation. 1999 Avalanches killed at least 10 people when they roared down the French Alps 30 miles from Geneva. 2005 North Korea publicly announced for the first time that it had nuclear arms. The country also rejected attempts to restart disarmament talks in the near future saying that it needed the weapons as protection against an increasingly hostile United States. 2009 A Russian and an American satellite collide over Siberia. 2009 Amazon announced the Kindle 2. 2019 Do smiled. |
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