Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, May 25 Thank you, Elsbeth ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Phoenix man arrested for series of armed robberies, shooting two people ___________________________________________________ Today, May 25 in 1085 Alfonso VI took Toledo, Spain back from the Moslems. ___________________________________________________ Today, May 25 in The folly of mistaking a paradox for a discovery, a metaphor for a proof, a torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths, and oneself for an oracle, is inborn in us. --- Paul Valery (1871 - 1945) It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled sea of thought. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006) Reason is immortal, all else mortal. --- Pythagoras ____________________________________________________ Lucy went to college. However, she really worried her folks because all she ever wrote home about was boys and good times. Her mother decided to have a serious talk with Lucy when she came home for a weekend. The mother started out by saying, "Now, dear, if you are only going to college to find a husband, it certainly will be expensive shopping." "Yes, I know, Mom," said Lucy, "but what a supermarket." ____________________________________________________ An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, infinite wisdom, or infinite beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something." The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money." ____________________________________________________ From Linda Fjord In Norway ____________________________________________________ A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, boys, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "'Cause yer feet ain't empty." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Trey Waters, 29, Phoenix, Arizona, USA Phoenix man arrested for series of armed robberies, shooting two people Police say a man has been arrested following a series of armed robberies that took place across Phoenix in April and May. Trey Waters, 29, is accused of being involved in three robberies that ended with two of the victims being shot in the past month. Both shooting victims are still in the hospital with serious injuries. The incidents happened on April 12, April 25 and May 9. In the first case, Waters allegedly entered a motel room near the I-10 and 51st Avenue while a couple were inside, demanding their property. Waters then pistol-whipped the male victim in the face and shot him in the neck. He then tied the woman up before leaving, police say. Investigators analyzed surveillance footage of the area and noticed a red Chevy Camaro with dark tinted windows and chrome wheels, but only the first letter and last number of the license plate could be read. "Our robbery detective shared that information with patrol, and one of our patrol sergeants actually saw a vehicle matching that description and was able to obtain some license plate information that led us to the suspect in this case," said Phoenix Police Sergeant Ann Justus. Detectives learned the car was registered to a woman who was later identified as Waters' sister. In the second case, he reportedly robbed an ice cream truck driver at gunpoint near South Mountain Avenue and 24th Street. Police believe he struck the driver on the head with a gun before robbing $1,000, a cell phone and a Mexican passport from him. The third incident happened near 40th Street and Southern Avenue last Sunday, where Waters is accused of shooting a cashier at a store three times during an attempted robbery. Waters was taken into custody near Central and Sunland Avenue on May 10 and faces numerous charges of attempted murder, aggravated assault, armed robbery and kidnapping. His bond has been set to $100,000. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: McCauley RE: Virus Alerts Dear Webby I get asked all the time if some supposed virus warning was serious. A while ago you had a link to the official virus hoax site. Can you please show that link again ? Also, how can one recognize a hoax without checking the official hoax site? Thanks C.McCauley Dear C You don't need to waste time with an official hoax site. If the email claims that Microsoft, AOL, IBM, etc. "announced" about a virus, then it is phony. If the email asks you to forward it to all your contacts, then it is phony. Real threats are caught automatically by MalwareBytes. No email alert is required. It updates on it's own in the background. Have FUN! DearWebby You are 100% Texan if you have ever had this conversation : "You wanna Coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Dr. Pepper." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A man and his little girl were on an overcrowded elevator. Suddenly a woman in front turned around, slapped him and left in a huff. The little girl remarked, "That's okay, Daddy, I didn't like her either, she was stepping all over my toes. That's why I pinched her." ___________________________________________ A Romanian woman, Marian Ghiorghiu, after hearing Brigitte Bardot ask the people of Bucharest to help solve the stray dog problem, took in five dogs and kicked out her husband. When her husband had come home and saw the dogs, he said, ''It's either me or the dogs.'' The dogs won. Ananova ____________________________________________ A Bonehead award goes to Jeffrey Thomas Anaya of Albuquerque, New Mexico who robbed a gas station, then ran to his getaway car which he had just left, and who was not able to find his car keys, according to police who arrived while he was still looking around for them. The keys are still missing, but where Jeffrey is residing now, they don't let the inmates have keys anyway. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, in May 25 in 585 BC The first recorded prediction of a solar eclipse was made in Greece. 1085 Alfonso VI took Toledo, Spain back from the Moslems. 1787 The Constitutional convention opened in Philadelphia with George Washington presiding. 1810 Argentina declared independence from Napoleonic Spain. 1844 The running but not patented gasoline engine was patented by Stuart Perry. 1844 The first telegraphed news dispatch, sent from Washington, DC, to Baltimore, MD, appeared in the Baltimore "Patriot." 1895 Oscar Wilde, a playwright, poet and novelist, was convicted of a morals charge and sentenced to prison in London. 1895 James P. Lee first published "Gold in America- A Practical Manual." 1911 President of Mexico, Porfolio Diaz, resigned his office. 1925 John Scopes was indicted for teaching the Darwinian theory in school. 1927 Ford Motor Company announced that the Model A would replace the Model T. 1927 The "Movietone News" was shown for the first time at the Sam Harris Theatre in New York City. 1946 Jordan gained independence from Britain. 1953 In Nevada, the first atomic cannon was fired. 1961 America was asked by U.S. President Kennedy to work toward putting a man on the moon before the end of the decade. 1963 The Organization of African Unity was founded in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. 1968 The Gateway Arch, part of the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial in St. Louis, MO, was dedicated. 1970 Boeing Computer Services was founded. 1977 "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope" opened and became the largest grossing film to date. 1977 An opinion piece by Vietnam verteran Jan Scruggs appeared in "The Washington Post." The article called for a national memorial to "remind an ungrateful nation of what it has done to its sons" that had served in the Vietnam War. 1979 An American Airlines DC-10 crashed during takeoff at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport. 275 people were killed. 1981 Daredevil Daniel Goodwin scaled Chicago's Sears Tower, while wearing a "Spiderman" costume, in 7 1/2 hours. 1983 "The Return of the Jedi" opened nationwide. It set a new record in opening day box office sales. The gross was $6,219,629. 1985 Bangladesh was hit with a hurricane and tidal wave that killed more than 11,000 people. 1986 Approximately 7 million Americans participated in "Hands Across America." 1989 The Calgary Flames won their first NHL Stanley Cup by defeating the Montreal Canadiens. 1992 Jay Leno debuted as the new permanent host of NBC's "Tonight Show." 1996 In Nimes, France, Christina Sanchez became the first woman to achieve the rank of matadore in Europe. 1997 In Sierra Leone a military coup overthrew the popularly elected President Ahmad Tejan Kabbah. He was replaced with Major Johnny Paul Koromah. 1997 Poland adopted a constitution that removed all traces of communism. 1999 A report by the U.S. House of Representatives Select Committee on U.S. National Security and Military/Commercial Concerns with the People's Republic of China concluded that China had "stolen design information on the U.S. most-advanced thermonuclear weapons" and that China's penetration of U.S. weapons laboratories "spans at least the past several decades and almost certainly continues today." 2001 Erik Weihenmayer, 32, of Golden, CO, became the first blind climber to reach the summit of Mount Everest. 2001 Sherman Bull, 64, of New Canaan, CT, became the oldest climber to reach the summit of Mount Everest. 2006 In Houston, former Enron Corp. chiefs Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skillinng were convicted of conspiracy and fraud for the downfall of Enron. 2008 NASA's Phoenix Mars Lander landed in the arctic plains of Mars. 2009 North Korea announced that it had conducted a second successful nuclear test in the province of North Hamgyong. The United Nations Security Council condemned the reported test. 2021 Do smiled. |
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