Good Morning, Do! Thank you, Jerry!! Today is Friday, October 30 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  By the time you read this, I will be on the road to Calgary for more Lucentis injections into my eyeballs. That means nothing will be sent out on Saturday, Sunday or Monday. Enjoy your vacation! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Ohio Woman, 21, Was Found Dead in Barrel Man Is Accused of Killing, Dismembering Her _____________________________________________________ Today, October 28 in 1975 The New York Daily News ran the headline "Ford to City: Drop Dead." The headline came a day after U.S. President Gerald R. Ford said he would veto any proposed federal bailout of New York City. _____________________________________________________ Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. --- Bertrand Russell It's sad that wise people don't have the patience to argue with hysterical fools and dogooders. --- Socratex _____________________________________________________ From Bill P "Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for her mother....." Poor sharks ! Don't let the PETA fanatics find out about that! _____________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ Bob had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. After a few weeks of this, his boss was mad and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Bob went to his doctor, who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. He got a great night's sleep and actually beat the alarm in the morning. After a leisurely breakfast, he cheerfully drove to work. "Boss," he said, "The pill my doctor subscribed me actually worked!" "That's all fine," said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?" ___________________________________________________  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  William Slaton, 35, Middletown, Ohio, USA 
 Ohio Woman, 21, Was Found Dead in Barrel Man Is Accused of Killing, Dismembering Her 
 An Ohio man who has been in police custody since June, when authorities found a woman's body in a barrel at his home, was indicted last week on murder, felonious assault, evidence tampering and other charges, according to local reports. The Journal-News, WXIX-TV and WKRC all report that a grand jury indicted William Slaton, 35, for the murder of Cecily Cornett. The 21-year-old victim's naked body was found inside a barrel that was allegedly discovered on Slaton's Middletown, Ohio, property. Cornett's remains had been placed inside a metal drum; Slaton allegedly told police she'd hung herself in his basement. The Journal-News reports that, in addition to murder, felonious assault, and tampering with evidence, Slaton was indicted for involuntary manslaughter, assault and gross abuse of a corpse. Police allege Slaton removed Cornett's fingers and tattoos with a knife before placing her in the barrel. Slaton was first arrested June 30 on gross abuse of a corpse, failure to report a crime or death and tampering with evidence charges. He is being held on $210,000 bond, and has yet to enter a formal plea to the charges against him. His attorney could not be reached for comment. The local coverage confirms that a cause and manner of death is still pending in this case. Prosecutors reportedly said that, despite not having this critical information, they had more than enough evidence to present the case to a grand jury. An anonymous caller led the Middletown Police to Slaton's property; the specific tip was that he had stuffed a woman's body into a barrel. Police reportedly knocked on Slaton's door and told him why they were there. At this point, he allegedly ran back into his house, out into the backyard, and hurled the barrel over a fence into a neighbor's yard. After finding the body, police interviewed Slaton, who allegedly said Cornett had died four or five days earlier. He allegedly said he woke up following a night of heavy drug use to find her hanging in the basement. He allegedly said he placed her in a barrel two days later. Local reports confirm that in 2011, Slaton was convicted in Ohio of illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material or performance and four counts of pandering sexually-oriented material involving a minor. He subsequently served seven years in prison.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Willie RE: Voice Mail   Dear Webby, The Teleskunks seem to have figured a way to call straight into my voice mail, depriving my poor squeaky duck of the chance to tell them to go suck a ******. How rude and inconsiderate! How can I stop that? Willie  Dear Willie No idea. I have not checked my voice mail since the early or mid 90's. It probably filled up ages ago. One friend made a Tequila fuelled message for his answering machine telling callers about his inability to hear their thilly message because his bullshit filter blocks it, and that they should send him an email. That would not stop calls straight to his voice mail, but it sure is funny. If it becomes a serious problem, contact your phone company. They may have a way to turn off your voice mail. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 In dire need of a beauty make-over, Nancy went to her salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous haired model. She showed the stylist the trendy new cut she wanted and settled into the chair as he began humming a catchy tune and got to work on her thin, graying hair. Nancy was delighted by his cheerful attitude until she r ecognized the melody. It was the theme from "Mission Impossible." ____________________________________________ Jack's grandfather left him ten million dollars, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him. After three months of married life, Jack noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more. On the rare occasion that she would go to bed with him she would be indifferent, or even worse, called out other men's names! Whenever they went out in public, she ignored him and flirted with other men. Finally, he decided to confront her. "Diane," he said, "was the only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me ten million dollars when he died?" "Don't be ridiculous," she replied, "I don't care who gave you the money!" ____________________________________________ A market researcher called at a house and his knock was answered by a young woman with three small children running around her. He asked her if she minded replying to his questions and when she agreed, he asked her if she knew his company, Cheeseborough-Ponds. When she said no, he mentioned that among their many products was Vaseline and she certainly knew of that product. When asked if she used it, she answered, "Yes, we use it when we have sexual intercourse." The interviewer was amazed. He said, "I always ask that question because everyone uses our product and they always say they use it for the child's bicycle chain, or the gate hinge or some other purpose. But I know that most people really use it for sexual intercourse, they just don't like to say so. Since you've been so frank, could you tell me exactly how you use it?" "We put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out." ____________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today October 30 in 1817 The independent government of Venezuela was established by Simon Bolivar. 1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave uprising in American history. 1875 The constitution of Missouri was ratified by popular vote. 1893 The U.S. Senate gave final approval to repeal the Sherman Silver Purchase Act of 1890. 1894 The time clock was patented by Daniel M. Cooper of Rochester, NY. 1938 Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" aired on CBS radio. The belief that the realistic radio dramatization was a live news event about a Martian invasion caused panic among listeners. 1945 The U.S. government announced the end of shoe rationing. 1953 General George C. Marshall was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. 1961 The Soviet Union tested a hydrogen bomb with a force of approximately 58 megatons. 1972 U.S. President Richard Nixon approved legislation to increase Social Security spending by $5.3 billion. 1972 In Illinois, 45 people were killed when two trains collided on Chicago's south side. 1975 Prince Juan Carlos assumed power in Spain as dictator Francisco Franco was near death. 1975 The New York Daily News ran the headline "Ford to City: Drop Dead." The headline came a day after U.S. President Gerald R. Ford said he would veto any proposed federal bailout of New York City. 1982 Portugal's constitution was revised for the first time since it was ratified on April 25, 1976. 1984 In Poland, police found the body of kidnapped pro-Solidarity priest Father Jerry Popieluszko. His death was blamed on four security officers. 1989 Mitsubishi Estate Company announced it would buy 51 percent of Rockefeller Group Inc. of New York. 1993 Martin Fettman, America's first veterinarian in space, performed the world's first animal dissections in space, while aboard the space shuttle Columbia. 1993 The United Nations deadline concerning ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide passed with country's military still in control. 1995 Federalists prevailed over separatists in Quebec in a referendum concerning secession from the federation of Canada. 1998 The terrorist who hijacked a Turkish Airlines plane and the 39 people on board was killed when anti-terrorist squads raided the plane. 2020 Do smiled. 
 

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