Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, January 26 One of you got through to the Ezinefinder! THANK YOU! They are now in 2020! Voting seems to work again! ___________________________________________________ Today, January 26 in 1788 The first European settlers in Australia, led by Captain Arthur Phillip, landed in what became known as Sydney. The group had first settled at Botany Bay eight days before. This day is celebrated as Australia Day. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Woman rejects 20-year sentencing deal for drug charges, gets 99 years instead __________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! __________________________________________ Furious activity is no substitute for understanding. --- H. H. Williams If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music. --- Marcus Bridgstocke _____________________________________________ An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital in Los Angeles, but didn't quite make it. She gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn. Later, the father received a bill, listing "Delivery Room Fee: $500." He wrote the hospital and reminded them the baby was born on the front lawn. A week passed, and a corrected bill arrived: "Greens Fee: $200." ________________________________________________` YIPE! ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor Here is the sailor in his immaculate 1968 Chevy An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Felisha Diane Williams, 39, Upshur county, Texas Woman rejects 20-year sentencing deal for drug charges, gets 99 years instead A Texas woman was sentenced to 99 years in prison after pleading guilty to drug charges in Upshur County, KETK reports. Felisha Diane Williams, 39, pleaded guilty on January 13th to possession of a controlled substance with the intent to deliver. In her plea, she declined the states offer of 20 years and opted for a jury to decide her punishment. Due to previous felonies, Williams faced an enhanced punishment range of 15 years to life rather than the normal punishment range of 5-99 years or life in prison. Williams was arrested on May 26, 2018. According to court records, she was a passenger in a car stopped in Gilmer for displaying multiple registrations and mismatched license plates. Police said one of the cars passengers originally gave police a false name. Once police found out the real name, they also found warrants against that name and requested permission to search the car, which the driver granted. In the search, officers found several baggies and methamphetamine. During her transport to the county jail, Williams indicated she had more meth concealed on her person. At the jail, staff found about 7 grams of meth and 16 more small baggies, which authorities say are commonly used in drug trafficking. Williams had four previous felony convictions on her record and was on parole at the time of her arrest. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Re: Voting works! Voting seems to be working again! Thanks to all those, who wrote to EzineFinder and got them to fix the voting and to update the count from 1918 to 2020! They insisted on ignoring my letters, but they listened to YOU! Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Ole and Lena went to the hospital so Lena could deliver their first baby. As Ole waited in the lobby, the doctor came out to talk to him. The doctor said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you have a normal baby boy. The bad news is that it is a cesarean." Ole started crying, and said, "Vel, I'm glad it is a healthy baby, but I vas kinda hoping it vould be Norvegian." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Cheese and Crackers Mini Pies By attosa These little cheese and cracker appetizers are super delicious. They double up as great presentation as they imitate little slices of pumpkin pie. They are sure to bring many oohs and aahs to your parties! The recipe is simple enough, but too long for here. It is at Cheese and Crackers Mini Pies Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun ____________________________________________________ | | 25 Absolutely Incredible Aquariums That Will Amaze You |
___________________________________________________ A golfer who was known for his bad temper walked into the pro shop one day and plunked down big bucks for a new set of Woods. The staff all watched to see what would happen after he used them for the first time - more than half expecting he'd come in and demand his money back. But the next time he came in, he was all smiles. "They're the best clubs I've ever had," he said. "In fact, I've discovered I can throw them at least 40 yards farther than I could my last ones." ___________________________________________________ One night, a torrential rain soaked South Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there. Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs. Thibodaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodaux noticed a lone baseball cap floating near the house. Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float all the way back to the house; it kept floating away from the house, then back in. Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do you see that baseball cap floating away from the house, then back again?" Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Oh yes, that's my husband; I told the dumb coon-ass he was going to cut the grass today come Hell or high water or I was gonna rip something off him!" ___________________________________________________ Three woman and their children were outside their psychiatrist's office. The wily old doctor was able to diagnose any complaint after asking the patient a few questions. The first woman went in and the doctor asked her a few questions and proclaimed: "Madam, all you ever think is food! That is why you named you daughter Candy!" "Why," exclaimed the woman, "you're absolutely right, doctor!" Then it was the second woman's turn. She got the same treatment and the doctor pronounced: "Madam, you're obsessed with the thought of money. That is why you named you daughter Penny!" "You're right, doctor!" exclaimed the second woman and left. The third woman, who had been listening to all this, got up indignantly and said: "What rubbish! I don't believe a single word you said. Obsessions indeed!" Then waving to her little son to follow her, she said: "Let's go home now Dick." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today January 26 in 1500 Vicente Yez Pinzn discovered Brazil the hard way. He bumped into it in the night. 1736 Stanislaus I formally abdicated as King of Poland. 1784 In a letter to his daughter, Benjamin Franklin expressed unhappiness over the eagle as the symbol of America. He wanted the symbol to be the turkey. 1788 The first European settlers in Australia, led by Captain Arthur Phillip, landed in what became known as Sydney. The group had first settled at Botany Bay eight days before. This day is celebrated as Australia Day. 1827 Peru seceded from Colombia in protest against Simn Bolvar's alleged tyranny. 1841 Britain formally occupied Hong Kong, which the Chinese had ceded to the British. 1875 George F. Green patented the electric dental drill for sawing, filing, dressing and polishing teeth. 1905 The Cullinan diamond, at 3,106.75 carats, was found by Captain Wells at the Premier Mine, near Pretoria, South Africa. 1911 Inventor Glenn H. Curtiss flew the first successful seaplane. 1939 In the Spanish Civil War, Franco's forces, with Italian aid, took Barcelona from the Communists. 1942 The first American expeditionary force to go to Europe during World War II went ashore in Northern Ireland. 1950 India officially proclaimed itself a republic as Rajendra Prasad took the oath of office as president. 1950 The American Associated Insurance Companies, of St. Louis, MO, issued the first baby sitters insurance policy. 1962 The U.S. launched Ranger 3 to land scientific instruments on the moon. The probe missed its target by about 22,000 miles. 1965 Hindi was made the official language of India. 1969 California was declared a disaster area after two days of flooding and mudslides. 1972 In Hermsdorf, Czechoslovakia, a JAT Yugoslav Airlines flight crashed after the detonation of a bomb in the forward cargo hold killing 27 people. The bomb was believed to have been placed on the plane by a Croatian extremist group. Vesna Vulovic, a stewardess, survived after falling 33,000 feet in the tail section. She broke both legs and became paralyzed from the waist down. 1979 The Gizmo guitar synthesizer was first demonstrated. 1992 Russian president Boris Yeltsin announced that his country would stop targeting U.S. cities with nuclear weapons. 1993 Former Czechoslovak President Vaclav Havel was elected president of the new Czech Republic. 1994 In Sydney, Australia, a young man lunged at and fired two blank shots at Britain's Prince Charles. 1998 U.S. President Clinton denied having an affair with a former White House intern, saying "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." 1999 Saddam Hussein vowed revenge against the U.S. in response to air-strikes that reportedly killed civilians. The strikes were U.S. planes defending themselves against anti-aircraft fire. 2009 The Icelandic government and banking system collapsed. Prime Minister Geir Haarde resigned. 2010 It was announced that James Cameron's movie "Avatar" had become the highest-grossing film worldwide. 2019 Do smiled. |
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