Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, March 23 ___________________________________________________ Today, March 23 in 1981 U.S. Supreme Court upheld a law making statutory rape a crime for men but not women. ______________________________________________________ Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. --- Dave Barry (1947 - ) | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Martial arts fighter abducted woman from a shelter then killed her before removing her hands and teeth __________________________________________ What's the difference between a hunter and a fisherman? A hunter lies in wait while a fisherman waits and lies! __________________________________________ __________________________________________ An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new stewardess named Anni. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed Anni the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed Anni was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. Anni answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" Anni replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb' !" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cedric Marks, 45, Hennepin County, Minnesota Martial arts fighter abducted woman from a shelter then killed her before removing her hands and teeth A former mixed martial arts fighter abducted then killed a woman from a shelter before removing her hands and teeth, policed said. Cedric Marks, 45, has been charged with second-degree murder for allegedly killing April Pease, who was the mother of one of his children, in 2009 in Hennepin County, Minnesota. Marks and Pease had reportedly been involved in a custody dispute at the time of Peases disappearance. Kellee Sorensen, 34, has also been charged in connection with Peases murder. This week was the 11th anniversary of Peases disappearance, according to the district attorneys office. Before she vanished, she moved from Washington to a refuge for domestic assault victims in Minnesota to escape Marks, police said. The investigation revealed that in March of 2009, Marks and Sorenson traveled to Minnesota from Washington and located April Pease at the womens shelter. Pease was taken against her will, the affidavit said. Peases child was reportedly left at the shelter. Sorenson later told police that Marks killed Pease at an unknown location while she sat in the car. Marks then told Sorenson that he removed Peases hands and teeth so she could not be identified by authorities, according to court documents. It is unclear if Peases body has ever been found, but one of Marks previous wives told authorities that it was buried somewhere in the Dakotas. Kellee Kristine Sorenson was also charged with second- degree murder in connection with Peases murder. Marks is also charged with two more counts of murder for allegedly strangling his ex-girlfriend, Jenna Scott, and another man, Michael Swearingin, to death in Texas last January, police said. In February, Marks escaped a private prison van while it was stopped at a McDonalds in Texas as he was transported from Michigan, where he was initially arrested. He was caught nine hours later and taken to the Bell County Jail. Marks had an extensive MMA career before his arrests that saw him compile a 31-28 record. His last recorded fight was in 2018. DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Brandon Re: W10 dead online Dear Webby, My W10 machine seizes up online. The rest of the machine keeps working, sorta. What do I do to unlock it so that I can browse again? Brandon Dear Brandon That seems to be a common problem with W10, especially if it is installed on an old W7 machine. All you can do is restart. After that it will work again for probably 8 - 10 hours. Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________ | | Walking Through An Ancient Ice Cave. |
_____________________________________________ Judge: Did you or did you not see the gun being fired? Witness: I did not see it being fired. I only heard it. Judge: Well, that's hearsay. It's inadmissible as evidence. As the witness left the stand and walked back to his seat, his back was turned to the judge, at which point he laughed out loud. Immediately the judge recalled him to the bench and was about to hold him in contempt of court. Witness: Did you actually see me laugh.....? _____________________________________________ A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go...?" ____________________________________________ A sale representative stops at a small manufacturing plant in the Midwest. He presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift. "No, thanks," says the plant manager. "I tried smoking a cigar once and I didn't like it." The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manger out for martinis. "No, thanks," the plant manager replies. "I tried alcohol once, but didn't like it." Then the salesman glances out the officer window and sees a golf course. "I suppose you play golf," says the salesman. "I'd like to invite you to be a guest at my club." "No, thanks," the manager says. "I played golf once, but I didn't like it." Just then a young man enters the office. "Let me introduce my son, Bill," says the plant manager. "Let me guess," the salesman replies. "An only child?" ____________________________________________ | No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today March 23 in 1026 Koenraad II crowned himself king of Italy. 1066 The 18th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet took place. 1657 France and England formed an alliance against Spain. 1775 American revolutionary Patrick Henry declared, "give me liberty, or give me death!" 1794 Josiah G. Pierson patented a rivet machine. 1806 Explorers Lewis and Clark, reached the Pacific coast, and began their return journey to the east. 1808 Napoleon's brother Joseph took the throne of Spain. 1835 Charles Darwin reached Los Arenales, in the Andes. 1836 The coin press was invented by Franklin Beale. 1839 The first recorded printed use of "OK" [oll korrect] occurred in Boston's Morning Post. 1840 The first successful photo of the Moon was taken. 1848 Hungary proclaimed its independence of Austria. 1857 Elisha Otis installed the first modern passenger elevator in a public building. It was at the corner of Broome Street and Broadway in New York City. 1858 Eleazer A. Gardner patented the cable streetcar. 1861 London's first tramcars began operations. 1880 John Stevens patented the grain crushing mill. The mill increased flour production by 70 percent. 1881 The Boers and Britain signed a peace accord ending the first Boer war. 1881 A gas lamp caused a fire in an opera house in Nice, France. 70 people were killed. 1889 U.S. President Harrison opened Oklahoma for white colonization. The "Sooners" were already there. 1901 Dame Nellie Melba, revealed the secret of her now famous toast. 1901 It was learned that Boers were starving in British concentration camps in South Africa. 1901 Shots were fired at Privy Councilor Pobyedonostzev, who was considered to be Russia's most hated man. 1902 In Italy, the minimum legal working age was raised from 9 to 12 for boys and from 11 to 15 for girls. 1903 The Wright brothers obtained an airplane patent. 1909 British Lt. Shackleton found the magnetic South Pole. 1909 Theodore Roosevelt began an African safari sponsored by the Smithsonian Institution and National Geographic Society. 1912 The Dixie Cup was invented. 1917 Austrian Emperor Charles I made a peace proposal to French President Poincare. 1918 Lithuania proclaimed independence. 1919 Benito Mussolini founded his Fascist political movement in Milan, Italy. 1921 Arthur G. Hamilton set a new parachute record when he safely jumped from 24,400 feet. 1922 The first airplane landed at the U.S. Capitol in Washington, DC. 1932 In the U.S., the Norris-LaGuardia Act established workers' right to strike. 1933 The German Reichstag adopted the Enabling Act. The act effectively granted Adolf Hitler dictatorial legislative powers. 1934 The U.S. Congress accepted the independence of the Philippines in 1945. 1936 Italy, Austria & Hungary signed the Pact of Rome. 1940 "Truth or Consequences" was heard on radio for the first time. 1942 The Japanese occupy the Andaman Islands. 1942 During World War II, the U.S. government began evacuating Japanese-Americans from West Coast homes to concentration camps. 1951 U.S. paratroopers descended from flying boxcars in a surprise attack in Korea. 1956 Pakistan became the first Islamic republic. It was still within the British Commonwealth. 1956 Sudan became independent. 1957 The U.S. Army sold the last of its homing pigeons. 1965 America's first two-person space flight took off from Cape Kennedy with astronauts Virgil I. Grissom and John W. Young aboard. The craft was the Gemini 3. 1965 The Moroccan Army shot at demonstrators. About 100 people were killed. 1967 Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. called the Vietnam War the biggest obstacle to the civil rights movement. 1972 The U.S. called a halt to the peace talks on Vietnam being held in Paris. 1972 Evel Knievel broke 93 bones after successfully jumping 35 cars. 1980 The deposed shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, left Panama for Egypt. 1981 U.S. Supreme Court upheld a law making statutory rape a crime for men but not women. 1983 U.S. President Reagan first proposed development of technology to intercept enemy missiles. The proposal became known as the Strategic Defense Initiative and "Star Wars." 1983 Dr. Barney Clark died after 112 days with a permanent artificial heart. 1989 Two electrochemists, Stanley Pons and Martin Fleischman, announced that they had created nuclear fusion in a test tube at room temperature. 1990 Former Exxon Valdez Captain Joseph Hazelwood was ordered to help clean up Prince William Sound and pay $50,000 in restitution for the 1989 oil spill. 1993 U.N. experts announced that record ozone lows had been registered over a large area of the Western Hemisphere. 1994 Wayne Gretzky broke Gordie Howe's National Hockey League (NHL) career record with his 802nd goal. 1996 Taiwan held its first democratic presidential elections. 1998 Germany's largest bank pledged $3.1 million to Jewish foundations as restitution for Nazi looting. 1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that term limits for state lawmakers were constitutional. 1998 Russian President Boris Yeltsin fired his Cabinet. 1998 The movie "Titanic" won 11 Oscars at the Academy Awards. 1998 The German company Bertelsmann AG agreed to purchase the American publisher Random House for $1.4 billion. The merger created the largest English-language book-publishing company in the world. 1999 NATO Secretary-General Javier Solana gave formal approval for air strikes against Serbian targets. 2001 Russia's orbiting Mir space station plunged into the South Pacific after its 15-years of use. 2020 Do smiled. |
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