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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, February 14, in 1876, Alexander Graham Bell filed an application for a patent for the telephone. It was officially issued on March 7, 1876 ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Aurora man convicted of sexual assault and battery __________________________________________________ Q Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) ________________________________________________ There once was a conservative college in the east coast that had a standing rule, the heat was to be turned off in the dormitories when the school went on summer daylight savings time. Unfortunately, this year, winter decided to stick around a bit longer. Students in both the men's and women's dormitories complained about the bitter cold, but were told that nothing could be done. After days of no heat and no respite in immediate sight, the ladies realized that their dorm faced the equally cold men's dorm. They turned a bed sheet into a banner with the message, "TURN ON THE HEAT OR WE'LL TURN ON THE BOYS!" The thermostat was turned up rather hastily. __________________________________________________ >From Rock few years back I was hanging out with a great old pal of mine, He was back with his wife and 3 kids staying at his dads old place at a lake vacationing. There really wasnt much there, his 8, 10 and 13 yr old kids were all bored. His wife told the kids , "Well, gee why dont you play solitaire?" All 3 chimed back in unison, "But Mom, we have no computers here." __________________________________________________ Carolyn Jaynes _________________________________________________ Smith emailed his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he wrote, "my mother-in-law is doing some heavy house-cleaning tomorrow, and my wife wants me to go help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replied. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," Smith wrote back, "I knew I could count on you!" __________________________________________________ An English soldier, an American solider and a Russian soldier found themselves sharing a table in a Bosnian restaurant, and the conver sation turned towards how well fed each of them was. "In the Russian army we have 2000 calories of food a day" said the Russian. "Well", said the Englishman, "In the British army we are given 4000 calories of food a day." "That's nothing", said the American, "in the US army we have 8000 calories of food a day". At this the Russian got very annoyed. "Nonsense", he said, "how could one man eat that much cabbage!!!." ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ "Mr Cohen, don't leave it too late. I have exactly the one you need. You only have to say the word and you'll meet and be married in no time!" says the Matchmaker. "Don't bother," replies Mr Cohen, "I've two sisters at home, who look after all my needs." "That's all well and good, but all the sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife." "I said 'two sisters'. I didn't say they were MY sisters!" ___________________________________________________ The reporter met the plane that brought back soldiers from their year in Kosovo. He wanted to write a human interest story, and asked one soldier, "What's the first thing you'll do when you get home?" The soldier immediately replied, "Spend an hour in bed with my wife." The reporter realized he'd never get that printed, and asked, "Oh. Well, and what will you do after that ?" "Take off these stupid combat boots!" __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Francisco L. Manriquez, 53, Aurora, Illinois, USA Aurora man convicted of sexual assault and battery A Kane County jury is finding an Aurora man guilty of aggravated criminal sexual assault and aggravated battery. The Kane County State's Attorney's Office says that 53- year-old Francisco L. Manriquez sexually assualted a victim who was unable to give consent in February of 2020. Manriquez is then accused of beating a pregnant woman who walked in on the assault. Manriquez is due back in Kane County on March 31 for sentencing. He's facing a sentence of twelve to fifty years in prison. Manriquez will also need to register for life as a sexual offender. Manriquez remains in custody at the Kane County Jail in St. Charles. ____________________________________________________ MacTavish's little boy was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson. "If you had five pounds," said the teacher, "and I asked you for the loan of three pounds, how many would you have left?" "Five," said young MacTavish firmly. "Five?" the teacher said "How do you make it five?" "Well," replied young MacTavish "You can ask for a loan of three pounds, but that doesn't mean you will get it." _____________________________________________________ EVEN GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone brother . 2. He liked Gospel. 3. He couldn't get a fair trial. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Father's business. 2. He lived at home until he was 33. 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: 1. He talked with His hands. 2. He had wine with His meals. 3. He used olive oil. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian: 1. He never cut His hair. 2. He walked around barefoot all the time. 3. He started a new religion. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian: 1. He was at peace with nature. 2. He ate a lot of fish. 3. He talked about the Great Spirit. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish: 1. He never got married. 2. He was always telling stories. 3. He loved green pastures. But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman: 1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food. 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it. 3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there still was work to do. _________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits from: Janet re: Slow W10 Dear Webby My W10 is getting slower than I can toerate. Yeah, I know, you told me two hundred times, or more, to resist the brainwash and to just clean up my act. Well, I am on W10, and it is now slower than my W7 ever was. Now what? Janet Dear Janet Bloatware and trialware refer to PC manufacturers' habit of loading crippled versions of commercial software on a new computer in the hope that some will upgrade to paid editions, and earn them a commission. Most of that is totally useless crap. Quite possibly you also have some programs that you or your spouse or kids wanted to try and see if they were any good, and have promptly forgotten about. Download SHOULD I REMOVE IT. https://en.softonic.com/download/should-i-remove- it/windows/post-download It is free. it will list all the stuff you got, and tell you if you really need it. Some stuff you can remove right there, other stuff you have to open your REVO Uninstaller. Between those two programs you can clean up your machine like it should have been when you bought it. It still won't be as fast as W7, but a lot faster than it is now. One word of caution: EDGE If you are using the Microsoft EDGE browser, which is usually slithered in with W10, you CAN remove it. However, before removing it, install Chrome or FireFox. Otherwise you will be out in nthe cold, without ANY browser. Today, February 14 in 1778, The Stars and Stripes was carried to a foreign port, in France, for the first time. It was aboard the American ship Ranger. 1803, Moses Coates received a patent for the apple parer. 1849, The first photograph of a U.S. President, James Polk, while in office, was taken by Matthew Brady in New York City. 1876, Alexander Graham Bell filed an application for a patent for the telephone. It was officially issued on March 7, 1876. 1889, In Los Angeles, CA, oranges began their first trip to the east. 1895, Oscar Wilde's final play, "The Importance of Being Earnest," opened at the St. James' Theatre in London. 1899, The U.S. Congress approved voting machines for use in federal elections. 1900, Russia imposed tighter imperial control over Finland in response to an international petition for Finland's freedom. 1900, In South Africa, British Gen. Roberts invaded Orange Free State with 20,000 troops. 1912, The first diesel engine submarine was commissioned in Groton, CT. 1912, Arizona was admitted as the 48th U.S. state. 1920, The League of Women Voters was founded in Chicago. The first president of the organization was Maude Wood Park. 1929, The "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" took place in Chicago, IL. Seven gangsters who were rivals of Al Capone were killed. 1932, The U.S. won the first bobsled competition at the Winter Olympic Games at Lake Placid, NY. 1940, The first porpoise born in captivity arrived at Marineland in Florida. 1945, Peru, Paraguay, Chile and Ecuador joined the United Nations. 1946, ENIAC (Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer) was unveiled. The device, built at the University of Pennsylvania, was the world's first general purpose electronic computer. 1954, The TV show "Letter to Loretta" changed its name to "The Loretta Young Show." The show premiered on September 20, 1953. 1961, Lawrencium, element 103, was first produced in Berkely, CA. 1962, U.S. First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy gave a tour of the White House on television. 1966, Rick Mount of Lebanon, IN, became the first high school, male athlete to be pictured on the cover of "Sports Illustrated". 1966, Wilt Chamberlain of the Philadelphia 76ers set a National Basketball Association (NBA) record as he reached a career high of 20,884 points after seven seasons. 1979, Twenty-year-old rookie, Don Maloney, of the New York Rangers, scored his first goal in the National Hockey League. It came on his first NHL shot. 1979, Adolph Dubs, the U.S. ambassador to Afghanistan, was kidnapped in Kabul by Muslim extremists. He was killed in a shootout between his abductors and police. 1983, A 6-year-old boy became the first person to receive a heart and liver transplants in the same operation. 1985, Cable News Network (CNN) reporter Jeremy Levin was freed. He had been held in Lebanon by extremists. 1989, Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini called on Muslims to kill Salman Rushdie because of his novel "The Satanic Verses." 1989, The first satellite of the Global Positioning System was placed into orbit around Earth. 1989, Union Carbide agreed to pay $470 million to the government of India. The court-ordered settlement was a result of the 1984 Bhopal gas leak disaster. 1997, Astronauts on the space shuttle Discovery began a series of spacewalks that were required to overhaul the Hubble Space Telescope. 1998, U.S. authorities officially announced that Eric Rudolph was a suspect in a bombing of an abortion clinic in Alabama. 2002, The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Shays- Meehan bill. The bill, if passed by the U.S. Senate, would ban millions of unregulated money that goes to the national political parties. 2002, Sylvester Stallone filed a lawsuit against Kenneth Starr. The suit alleged that Starr had given bad advice about selling Planet Hollywood stock. 2003, In Madrid, Spain, a ceramic plate with a bullfighting motif painted by Pablo Picasso in 1949 was stolen from an art show. The plate was on sale for $12,400. 2005, The video-sharing website YouTube was activated. 2022 Do smiled.
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