Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, September 12 _____________________________________________________ Today, September 12 in  1922 The Episcopal Church removed the word "Obey" from the bride's section of wedding vows. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: El Paso Shooting 'Hero' Arrested at White House Before He Was Due To Be Honored by Trump  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ "People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character." --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think. --- Benjamin Disraeli If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong. --- Mo Udall Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement. --- Jim Horning _______________________________________________ >From Linda, a great Classic: Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with Vodka meant for a construction convention, had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of church ladies, the restaurant's owner waited nervously for the ladies' reaction. "Quick, man," he whispered to the waiter, "what did they say?" "Nothing," replied the waiter. "They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets." ________________________________________________`   ____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor:  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Christopher Grant, 50, El Paso, Texas  El Paso Shooting 'Hero' Arrested at White House Before He Was Due To Be Honored by Trump  In the aftermath of last month's mass shooting at a Walmart in El Paso, Texas, Christopher Grant was hailed as a hero after claiming he took on the gunman with nothing but bottles. Now, law enforcement officials say Grant wasn't being truthful. He was seen on the video, but not throwing anything or doing anything to draw the gunman's attention awaya from what he has doing. His sister started a GofundMe and raised $17,000 for him. And to top it all off, he was arrested Monday by the Secret Service at the White House, where he was set to be honored by President Donald Trump. He had outstanding warrants. e was arrested by the Secret Service for being a "fugitive from justice," according to a spokesperson for the Washington Metropolitan Police Department. Grant has a criminal record for theft and evading arrest, according to Texas court documents reviewed by the Washington Examiner. He was sentenced to eight months in prison for car theft in March, after pleading guilty to stealing a silver 2009 Mazda 6. In 2016, he pleaded guilty and was also sentenced to 18 days in jail for stealing TVs from a Sears in Richardson, Texas. He pleaded guilty to evading arrest in Collins County in 2016. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Dianne Re: Windows 7  Dear Webby, There is a lot of advertising around claiming that Windows 10 is better than W7. Is there any truth to that, or just the usual lies, like the ones about Vista being better for business than XP? Dianne  Dear Dianne Just the usual lies. I have still not heard from a single person, who likes W10 better than W7. Even Bill is not talking to me anymore. About the kindest remarks about it are that you can't buy W7 machines unless you want a refurb W7, that costs more than a brand new W10 machine. If you have W7 machines, treat them kindly, keep them cool and don't pollute them with phony speeder upper programs. The fastest your machine ever worked was on Day 1, before you put any of that stuff on. About the only safe ones are Crap Cleaner, and Spybot- Search&Destroy. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy. Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV: "Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package." 
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 Do was waiting on a London street corner. An attractive English girl was passing by when a gust of wind blew her dress above her waist. Do's comment was: "A bit airy...." Hearing this, the girl replied indignantly, " 'ell yes! What did you expect ..... feathers?!" ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Cleaning Hardwood Floors The best tool I have found for daily maintenance of my hardwood floors is a good vacuum cleaner. Mine has a low setting made for flat floors and it works well for pet hair, dust and paw prints. Make sure you let muddy paw prints dry before trying to vacuum. thriftyfun.Com  I use a wide dustmop and then finish with an old fashioned big string mop dampened with vinegar and water. If there are bad spills, I spray them with Citrus cleaner before the damp mopping. It doesn't dull the shine, produces a fresh smell, and it doesn't make a racket like the vauum cleaner. Have FUN! DeaWebby  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
Show and tell, incredible castles. 
 ___________________________________________________ Joe's daughter's eighth grade history class planned a visit to the US capital. Unfortunately, she was not greatly enthusiastic about a trip that she considered too "educational". However, on their return, Joe was pleased to hear how she and her classmates had been filled with awe and emotion as they gazed at the Washington Monument. "To think, dad," she marveled. "We were standing right where Forrest Gump stood." ___________________________________________________ A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together. But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone, "June." "Yes, this is June." "Will you marry me?" "Of course I will! By the way, who are you?" ___________________________________________________ The middle-aged man was shuffling along, bent over at the waist, as his wife helped him into the doctor's waiting room. A woman in the office viewed the scene in sympathy. "Arthritis with complications?" she asked. The wife shook her head, "Noooo,...she explained, "he tried to move the wet laundry from the washer into the dryer all by himself." __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, September 12 in 1609 English explorer Henry Hudson sailed down what is now known as the Hudson River. 1814 During the War of 1812, the Battle of North Point was fought in Maryland. 1866 "The Black Crook" opened in New York City. It was the first American burlesque show. 1873 The first practical typewriter was sold to customers. 1914 The first battle of Marne ended when the allied forces stopped the German offensive in France. 1916 Adelina and August Van Buren finished the first successful transcontinental motorcycle tour to be attempted by two women. They started in New York City on July 5, 1916. 1918 During World War I, At the Battle of St. Mihiel, U.S. Army personnel operate tanks for the first time. The tanks were French-built. 1922 The Episcopal Church removed the word "Obey" from the bride's section of wedding vows. 1928 Katharine Hepburn made her stage debut in the play "The Czarina." Four years later she made her film debut in "A Bill of Divorcement." 1938 In a speech, Adolf Hitler demanded self-determination for the Sudeten Germans in Czechoslovakia. 1940 The Lascaux paintings were discovered in France. The cave paintings were 17,000 years old and were some of the best examples of art from the Paleolithic period. 1943 During World War II, Benito Mussolini was taken by German paratroopers from the Italian government that was holding him. 1944 U.S. Army troops entered Germany, near Trier, for the first time during World War II. 1953 Nikita Krushchev was elected as the first secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. 1954 "Lassie" made its television debut on CBS. The last show aired on September 12, 1971. 1963 The last episode of "Leave it to Beaver" was aired. The show had debuted on October 4, 1957. 1974 Violence occurred on the opening day of classes in Boston, MA, due opposition to court-ordered school "busing." 1974 Emperor Haile Selassie was taken out of power by Ethiopia's military after ruling for 58 years. 1977 South African anti-apartheid activist Stephen Biko died at the age of 30. The student leader died while in police custody which triggered an international outcry. 1983 Arnold Schwarzenegger became a U.S. citizen. He had emigrated from Austria 14 years earlier. 1991 The space shuttle Discovery took off on a mission to deploy an observatory that was to study the Earth's ozone layer. 1992 Police in Peru captured Shining Path founder Abimael Guzman. 1992 Dr. Mae Carol Jemison became the first African-American woman in space. She was the payload specialist aboard the space shuttle Endeavor. Also onboard were Mission Specialist N. Jan Davis and Air Force Lieutenant Colonel Mark C. Lee. They were the first married couple to fly together in space. And, Mamoru Mohri became the first Japanese person to fly into space. 2009 Steve Jobs announced that Apple's iTunes had 88% of the legal U.S. music download market. 2019 Do smiled.