Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, February 10 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Florida man threw rock through Wendys window ___________________________________________________ Today, February 10 in 2009 A Russian and an American satellite collide over Siberia. ____________________________________________________ Talk low, talk slow, and don't talk too much. --- John Wayne (1907 - 1979) It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. --- Andre Gide ____________________________________________________ A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,"Thou shall not kill." ____________________________________________________ When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he had some very good news for him. "Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!" "Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?" the manager asked. "That's the one!" That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me. Why is your hand bandaged?" "Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his seeing-eye guide dog bit me." ____________________________________________________ Istanbul bildrone ___________________________________________________ A History professor was explaining how society's ideal of beauty changes with time. "Take Miss America in 1921," he noted. "She stood 5'1" tall, weighed 108 pounds, and had measurements of 30-35-36. How do you think she'd do in today's beauty contest?" "One student piped up, "Not very well! She'd be way too old!" __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dustin Tyrrell, 21, Key West, Florida, USA Florida man threw rock through Wendys window The Florida Man who threw a large rock through the window of a Wendys after discovering that the fast food joint was no longer selling Cinnabon rolls has been convicted of two criminal charges, but has been spared jail, according to court records. In a deal with prosecutors, Dustin Tyrrell, 21, pleaded no contest to criminal mischief and throwing a missile into an occupied building. While the felonies carried a combined statutory maximum of 20 years in prison, Tyrrell was sentenced to four years probation during a January 28 Circuit Court hearing. Tyrrell, seen above, was also ordered to stay away from a Wendys in Key West and have no contact with the restaurants owner or his family. Additionally, Tyrrell must pay more than $4300 in restitution for damages caused to the eatery. As detailed in an arrest report, Tyrrell was collared outside the Wendys on Duval Street, the main drag in Key West. A witness told cops she saw Tyrrell repeatedly throw a rock at the window until it passed through the glass into the crowded restaurant. When a passerby asked why he targeted Wendys, Tyrrell reportedly replied, They dont sell Cinnabons anymore! Police collected the grapefruit sized rock thrown by Tyrrell and entered into evidence. Tyrrell had been free on $15,000 bond following his July 2019 arrest, but his bond was revoked following an October 2020 bust for allegedly punching his father in the face. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Lori Re: Wet mouse Dear Webby my daughter spilled some coffee at her desk and afterward put her mouse into the dishwasher. Is it safe to use that mouse again? Lori Dear Lori it would be a good idea to open the mouse and let it dry thoroughly overnight. While you have the mouse open, if it is a ball type mouse, then you can also clean those little shafts that hold the star wheels. The dishwasher doesn't clean them. Also, take the ball out and clean it with clear rubbing alcohol or gasline anti-freeze to make sure there are no soap residues left on it. Have Fun! DearWebby Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced, "A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000." There was a moment's silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry, "Two thousand five hundred!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ An old Bonehead Award: Friday 26th July 2002 Vibrating luggage passenger claims sex toy compensation A Florida woman says airline staff made her hold up a sex toy in front of other passengers when her luggage started vibrating. Renee Koutsouradis, 36, wants at least $15,000 compensation after the alleged incident in Dallas. The St Petersburg Times says staff asked her to get off the Delta Airlines plane after staff noticed the bag. She says she told staff it was a sex toy but that they made her hold it up in full view of passengers. She's seeking unspecified damages of more than $15,000, accusing Delta of negligence, intentional infliction of emotional distress and gender discrimination. ------------------ Considering how nervous everybody is in the airports in the US, I think SHE should be fined $15,000, or more, for causing a false alarm and distress among everybody around her. ____________________________________________ Anni was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale, and said to her, "My husband is going to be very angry when he finds out I stopped at a yard sale." "I'm sure the old boy'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains," her friend replied. "Normally, yes," said Anni. "But he just broke his leg, and he's waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set." ____________________________________________ A teacher asked one of her students, "What's the nation's capital?" The student said, "Washington DC." When asked what the 'DC' stood for, the student said, "Dot Com." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 10 in 1763 The Treaty of Paris ended the French and Indian War. In the treaty France ceded Canada to England. 1840 Britain's Queen Victoria married Prince Albert of Saxe Coburg-Gotha. 1846 Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints began their exodus to the west from Illinois. 1863 In New York City, two of the worlds most famous midgets, General Tom Thumb and Lavinia Warren were married. 1863 In Virginia, the first fire extinguisher patent was issued to Alanson Crane. 1870 The city of Anaheim was incorporated for the first time. 1870 The YWCA was founded in New York City. 1879 The electric arc light was used for the first time. 1920 Major league baseball representatives outlawed pitches that involve tampering with the ball. 1923 Ink paste was manufactured for the first time by the Standard Ink Company. 1925 The first waterless gas storage tank was placed in service in Michigan City, IN. 1933 The singing telegram was introduced by the Postal Telegraph Company of New York City. 1933 Primo Carnera knocked out Ernie Schaaf in round 13 at Madison Square Garden in New York City. Schaaf died as a result of the knockout punch. 1934 The first imperforated, ungummed sheets of postage stamps were issued by the U.S. Postal Service in New York City. 1935 The Pennsylvania Railroad began passenger service with its electric locomotive. The engine was 79-1/2 feet long and weighed 230 tons. 1942 The Normandie, the former French liner, capsized in New York Harbor. The day before the ship had caught fire while it was being fitted for the U.S. Navy. 1962 The Soviet Union exchanged captured American U2 pilot Francis Gary Powers for the Soviet spy Rudolph Ivanovich Abel being held by the U.S. 1967 The 25th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. The amendment required the appointment of a vice- president when that office became vacant and instituted new measures in the event of presidential disability. 1975 The U.S. Post Office issued a commemorative stamp that featured NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft. 1981 The Las Vegas Hilton hotel-casino caught fire. Eight people were killed and 198 were injured. 1989 Ron Brown became the first African American to head a major U.S. political party when he was elected chairman of the Democratic National Committee. 1990 South African President F.W. de Klerk announced that black activist Nelson Mandela would be released the next day after 27 years in captivity. 1992 Mike Tyson was convicted in Indianapolis of raping Desiree Washington, a Miss Black American contestant. 1997 The U.S. Army suspended its top-ranking enlisted soldier, Army Sgt. Major Gene McKinney following allegations of sexual misconduct. McKinney was convicted of obstruction of justice and acquitted of 18 counts alleging sexual harassment of six military women. 1998 A man became the first to be convicted of committing a hate crime in cyberspace. The college dropout had e-mailed threats to Asian students. 1998 Voters in Maine repealed a 1997 gay rights law. Maine was the first state to abandone such legislation. 1999 Avalanches killed at least 10 people when they roared down the French Alps 30 miles from Geneva. 2005 North Korea publicly announced for the first time that it had nuclear arms. The country also rejected attempts to restart disarmament talks in the near future saying that it needed the weapons as protection against an increasingly hostile United States. 2009 A Russian and an American satellite collide over Siberia. 2021 Do smiled. |
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