Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, December 26 Thank you, Doug!! Boxing Day! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award "No, It's Christmas," Dopey Suspect Protests As She Resists Cop's Attempt To Arrest Her. ___________________________________________________ Today, December 24 in 2004 Under the Indian Ocean, a 9.0 magnitude earthquake sent 500-mph waves across the Indian Ocean and Bay of Bengal. The tsunami killed at least 283,000 people in a dozen countries, including Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Sumatra, Thailand and India. _____________________________________________________ Love can be sordid only if you work at it. --- Brooke McEldowney _____________________________________________________ A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters of the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent, having had an exceedingly profitable year, seeing the dejected couple looking in the window was inspired to a rare feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop and said, "I bet that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer!" He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and to book a room in a five star hotel. They, as expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way. About a month later the little lady came in to his shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" the travel agent asked eagerly. "The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me." "What would that be?" asked the travel agent. "Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?" _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A priest and pastor from the local churches are standing by the side of the road pounding a sign into the ground that reads: "The End Is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" "Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled a driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. The pastor turns to the priest and asks, "Do you think the sign should maybe just say 'Bridge Out'?" ___________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Renee Whiddon, 34, West Monroe, Louisiana, USA "No, It's Christmas," Dopey Suspect Protests As She Resists Cop's Attempt To Arrest Her When a Louisiana cop early today informed her that she was under arrest for driving with a suspended license and a probation violation warrant, motorist Renee Whiddon would have none of the patrolmans Scrooge-like attitude. No, its Christmas, Whiddon said as she turned away from Deputy Timothy Fischer and began to run from her vehicle, which was pulled over on a street in West Monroe around 4:35 AM. Whiddons getaway was brief, however, as Fischer noted in an arrest affidavit. Whiddon made it a very short distance before she ran into a parking lot sign and fell to the ground, the cop reported. Seen above, the 34-year-old Whiddon was then handcuffed and transported to jail, where she was booked on several charges, including methamphetamine possession and resisting an officer. Bond has not been set for Whiddon, so it appears likely she will spend Christmas Eve and Christmas behind bars. According to court records, Whiddon was arrested in late- October for possession of meth, cocaine, and Suboxone, possession of drug paraphernalia, and illegal possession of a firearm. Those charges are pending. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Ama Re: Newsletter Dear Webby, What happened to my newsletter? At first it did not arrive, then I got it twice? I do appreciate that unlike most newsleters, yours never fails, so it is quite scary when there is a problem. Ama Dear Ama I don't really know. There was a problem on the server. I kept trying, and the server techs were trying, and eventually Victor got it fixed. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ >From Donna My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds that she had put on recently. "Good," I exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too! We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I get the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Great," she replied. "I'll ride with you." ____________________________________________ On a country road, a speeder hit and killed a dog. The dog's owner stood nearby, a gun in his hand. The speeder said, "Looks as if I killed your dog." "Sure does." "I'm sorry. Was it a valuable dog?" "I wouldn't say that." "Well, suppose I gave you a hundred dollars. Would that be enough?" "Well, I don't know." "Two hundred dollars. That should do it." "Sounds good." The speeder reached into his pocket and came up with the money. Pressing it into the man's hand, he said, "I'm sorry I spoiled your plans to go hunting." "I wasn't going hunting. I was heading out to the woods to put that mangy mutt out of his misery." ____________________________________________ When I was a mother's helper, the mom of the family I worked for sat with her three oldest children and watched a PBS special showing the birth of a baby. The mom thought it would be a good starting point for answering questions about the facts of life. As her five-year-old studied the baby coming out of the birth canal, he asked, "Mom, does that hurt?" "Oh, yes, it does," she said, remembering her difficult deliveries. "Gee," he continued in awe, "does it hurt the mother too?" ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today December 26 in 1620 The Pilgrim Fathers landed at New Plymouth, MA, to found Plymouth Colony, with John Carver as Governor. 1776 The British suffered a major defeat in the Battle of Trenton during the American Revolutionary War. 1865 The coffee percolator was patented by James H. Mason. 1898 Marie and Pierre Curie discovered radium. 1908 Texan boxer "Galveston Jack" Johnson knocked out Tommy Burns in Sydney, Australia, to become the first black boxer to win the world heavyweight title. 1917 During World War I, the U.S. government took over operation of the nation's railroads to prevent a strike. 1921 The Catholic Irish Free State became a self-governing dominion of Great Britain. 1927 The East-West Shrine football game featured numbers on both the front and back of players jerseys. 1941 Winston Churchill became the first British prime minister to address a joint meeting of the U.S. Congress. 1941 U.S. President Roosevelt signed a resolution that set a fixed-date, the fourth Thursday of November, for the Federal Thanksgiving Day holiday. 1943 The German battlecruiser Scharnhorst was sunk in the North Sea, during the Battle of North Cape. 1944 Tennessee Williams' play "The Glass Menagerie" was first performed publicly, at the Civic Theatre in Chicago, IL. 1947 Heavy snow blanketed the Northeast United States, burying New York City under 25.8 inches of snow in 16 hours. The severe weather was blamed for about 80 deaths. 1953 "Big Sister" was heard for the last time on CBS Radio. The show ran for 17 years. 1956 Fidel Castro attempted a secret landing in Cuba to overthrow the Batista regime. All but 11 of his supporters were killed. 1982 The Man of the Year in "TIME" magazine was a computer. It was the first time a non-human received the honors. 1986 Doug Jarvis, age 31, set a National Hockey League (NHL) record as he skated in his 916th consecutive game. Jarvis eventually set the individual record for most consecutive games played with 964. 1991 The Soviet Union's parliament formally voted the country out of existence. 1995 Israel turned dozens of West Bank villages over to the Palestinian Authority. 1996 Six-year-old beauty queen Jon Benet Ramsey was found beaten and strangled in the basement of her family's home in Boulder, CO. 1998 Iraq announced that it would fire on U.S. and British warplanes that patrol the skies over northern and southern Iraq. 1999 Alfonso Portillo, a populist lawyer, won Guatemala's first peacetime presidential elections in 40 years. 2000 Michael McDermott, age 42, opened fire at his place of employment killing seven people. McDermott had no criminal history. 2002 The first cloned human baby was born. The announcement was made the December 27 by Clonaid. 2004 Under the Indian Ocean, a 9.0 magnitude earthquake sent 500-mph waves across the Indian Ocean and Bay of Bengal. The tsunami killed at least 283,000 people in a dozen countries, including Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Sumatra, Thailand and India. 2020 Do smiled. |
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