Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, May 29 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ Today, May 29 in 1988 U.S. President Reagan began his first visit to the Soviet Union in Moscow. ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Teacher Becomes Former Students Foster Mom, Then She Gets Arrested ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
_____________________________________________________ In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) _____________________________________________________ "You're in remarkable shape for a man your age," said the doctor to the ninety-year-old man after the examination. "I know it," said the old gentleman. "I've really got only one complaint: My sex drive is too high. Got anything you can do for that, Doc?" The doctor's mouth dropped open. "Your what?" he gasped. "My sex drive," said the old man. "It's too high, and I'd like to have you lower it if you can." "Lower it!" exclaimed the doctor, still unable to believe what the ninety-year-old gentleman was saying. "Just what do you consider 'high'?" "These days it seems like it's all in my head, Doc," said the old man, "and I'd like to have you lower it a couple of feet if you can." __________________________________________ __________________________________________ An old man told his doctor, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?" The doctor replied, "Try this test first. When your wife is at the sink doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question. If she doesn't respond, keep moving closer, asking the question until she hears you." He went home and saw his wife preparing dinner. Standing fifteen feet behind her he said, "What's for dinner, honey?" Hearing no reply, he moved up to ten feet behind her and repeated the question. Still no reply, so he moved to five feet. Finally he stood directly behind her and said, "Honey, what's for dinner tonight?" She turned around and screamed in his face, "For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN, you deaf old fart!" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stephanie Pudlowski, 38, Rhinelander, Wisconsin Teacher Becomes Former Students Foster Mom, Then She Gets Arrested Stephanie Pudlowski was a 38-year-old, trusted Rhinelander, Wisconsin teacher, who became the foster mother of a 16-year-old boy. She had met the teenager while teaching at James Williams Middle School several years before, but after taking the boy in as their son, Pudlowskis husband began feeling like something was off about his wifes relationship with her former student. Her husband initially became suspicious of an inappropriate relationship between Stephanie Pudlowski and their foster son after placing surveillance cameras in the common areas of their home and observing what he thought was inappropriate behavior. If this was what he saw going on in the common areas of his home, what was going on behind closed doors? He was going to find out. Stephanie Pudlowski and the child were often alone in the boys room with the door shut. Pudlowski said she and the teen closed the door to the boys bedroom because he was a loud gamer, but her husband suspected something more was going on. He later admitted to authorities that he secretly recorded in the boys bedroom in the basement, according to the criminal complaint. With his suspicions growing, Pudlowskis husband had secretly installed an audio recorder in the basement of their Oneida County home in addition to the cameras. When the surveillance equipment confirmed what he suspected was going on between his wife and their foster son, he went to the police. What he captured on camera led to his wife, a then- Rhinelander middle school teacher, being arrested. Stephanie Pudlowski was hit with multiple charges after police say the footage captured by the hidden cameras shows the teacher having a sexual relationship with her 16-year-old foster son after her husband secretly recorded their trysts. According to the police, the audio and video, taken in the home Pudlowski shared with her husband and foster son, showed she had a sexual relationship with the boy. DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Elsa Re: What is the ~ key for? Dear Webby, Another mystery key is ~ Can you please tell me? Elsa Dear Elsa That key is called the tilde. In English, it can mean about when placed before a number. For example, ~30 means 'about 30'. When placed between two numbers, it means the difference between the two numbers. For example, 12~25 = 13. In Unix and Linux, it is a shortcut to your home directory, no matter how many hundred directories away from it you are. CD ~ will get you home in one step. Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ Boudreaux and Thibodeaux are from Louisiana visiting a relative at the Huntsville, Texas prison. Walking along Sam Houston Street, they see a sign which reads:'Suits $5.00 each, shirts $2.00 each, trousers $2.50 per pair. Boudreaux says to his pal, "Hey Thib, LOOK! We could buy a whole lot of those, and when we get back to Lafayette, we could make a fortune. Now when we go into the shop, you be quiet, okay? Just let me do all the talkin' cause if they hear our Cajun accent they might not serve us. I'll speak in my best Texas drawl." They go in and Boudreaux orders 50 suits at 5.00 each, 100 shirts at 2.00 each and 50 pairs of trousers at 2.50 each. The owner of the shop says, "You're from Louisiana, aren't you?" "Oh, ... yes," says a surprised Boudreaux. "How come you know dat?" The owner says, "Cause this is a dry-cleaners." _____________________________________________ A young man volunteered to babysit one night so his mom could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football. One child kept creeping down the stairs but the young man kept sending him back. At 9pm, the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, "No". Just then a little head appeared over the bannister and a voice shouted, "I'm here Mom but he won't let me go home." _____________________________________________ There was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman and they lived in Honolulu. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted. The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store... (Please scroll page down.) What were you thinking? Helloooooooooo, her husband speaks English!! ____________________________________________ An old maid was held up in a dark alley. She explained she had no money, but the robber insisted that it must be in her bra, or in her panties and started feeling around. "I told you I haven't got any money," the spinster said, "but if you keep doing that, I'll write you a check." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today May 29 in 1453 Constantinople fell to Ottoman Sultan Mehmed II, ending the Byzantine Empire. 1660 Charles II was restored to the English throne after the Puritan Commonwealth. 1721 South Carolina was formally incorporated as a royal colony. 1765 Patrick Henry denounced the Stamp Act before Virginia's House of Burgesses. 1827 The first nautical school opened in Nantucket, MA, under the name Admiral Sir Isaac Coffins Lancasterian School. 1910 An airplane raced a train from Albany, NY, to New York City. The airplane pilot Glenn Curtiss won the $10,000 prize. 1912 Fifteen women were dismissed from their jobs at the Curtis Publishing Company in Philadelphia, PA, for dancing the Turkey Trot while on the job. 1916 U.S. forces invaded Dominican Republic and remained until 1924. 1922 Ecuador became independent. 1932 World War I veterans began arriving in Washington, DC. to demand cash bonuses they were not scheduled to receive for another 13 years. 1951 C.F. Blair became the first man to fly over the North Pole in single engine plane. 1953 Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay became first men to reach the top of Mount Everest and lived to talk about it. 1973 Tom Bradley was elected the first black mayor of Los Angeles. 1985 Thirty-nine people were killed and 400 were injured in a riot at a European Cup soccer match in Brussels, Belgium. 1986 Colonel Oliver North told National Security Advisor William McFarlane that profits from weapons sold to Iran were being diverted to the Contras. 1988 U.S. President Reagan began his first visit to the Soviet Union in Moscow. 1988 NBC aired "To Heal A Nation," the story of Jan Scruggs' effort to build the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. 1990 Boris Yeltsin was elected president of the Russian republic by the Russian parliament. 1997 The ruling party in Indonesia, Golkar, won the Parliament election by a record margin. There was a boycott movement and rioting that killed 200 people. 1999 Space shuttle Discovery completed the first docking with the International Space Station. 2000 Fiji's military took control of the nation and declared martial law following a coup attempt by indigenous Fijians in mid-May. 2001 In New York, four followers of Osama bin Laden were convicted of a global conspiracy to murder Americans. The crimes included the 1998 bombings of two U.S. embassies in Africa that killed 224 people. 2015 The Obama adminstration removed Cuba from the U.S. terrorism blacklist. The two countries had severed diplomatic relations in January of 1961. 2020 Do smiled. |
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