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Today's Bonehead Award goes to two Floriduh Women, who beat shopper, tossed groceries to ground when alerted to backing up without watching behind them Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 24, in 1832 Mormon Joseph Smith was beaten, tarred and feathered in Ohio. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Mother: "How's your history paper coming?" Son: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research and it's been very helpful. Mother: "Really?" Son: "Yes, so far I've located 17 people who sell them!" x ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Yesterday's "Not politically correct" piece by Barb went over well. Thanks for all who wrote! Here is one from Annette, that might cause thinking. >From Annette If plastic water bottles are okay, but plastic bags are banned, you might live in a nation (state) that was founded by geniuses but is run by idjits. If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idjits. If you have to get your parents' permission to go on a field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idjits. If you MUST show your identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book and rent a video, but not to vote for who runs the government you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idjits. If the government wants to prevent stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines that hold more than ten rounds, but gives twenty F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses buut is run by idjits. If, in the nations largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not one 24-ounce soda, because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idjits. If an 80-year-old woman who is confined to a wheelchair or a three-year-old girl can be strip-searched by the TSA at the airport, but a woman in a burka or a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idjits. If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idjits. If a seven-year-old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is cute but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idjits. If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government regulation and intrusion while not working is rewarded with Food Stamps, WIC checks, Medicaid benefits, subsidized housing, and free cell phones you might live in a nation that wwas founded by geniuses but is run by idjits. If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big-screen TV, while your neighbor buys iPhones, time shares, a wall-sized do-it-all plasma screen TV and new cars, and the government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage, then you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idjits. If being stripped of your Constitutional right to defend yourself makes you more safe according to the government you might live in a nation that was foundeed by geniuses but is run by idjits. Think before you vote in all upcoming elections, and remember Obama got a Nobel Prize for his electrion promises. Broom Hilda has been nominated for this year's prize. ______________________________________________________ >From FB ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Naysha Barre-Parrilla, 24, and Deysha Williams, 36, Palm Bay, Floriduh Floriduh Women, who beat shopper, tossed groceries to ground when alerted to backing up without watching behind them. Two Palm Bay women face charges after police said they attacked a shopper trying to alert them that she was walking behind their car, then grabbed the woman's groceries and tossed them to the ground. Naysha Barre-Parrilla, 24, and Deysha Williams, 36, were both charged with battery and criminal mischief after Palm Bay police were called to the Publix grocery store parking lot at 3450 Bayside Lakes to investigate reports of a disturbance, records show. Witnesses told police that Barre-Parrilla was backing out in her car about 6:53 p.m. Monday, when she nearly struck a woman identified by officers as the victim. Police said the woman first yelled to alert Barre-Parrilla that she was behind the vehicle, but that Barre-Parrilla and Williams, who was a passenger, got out of the car and followed her. A confrontation ensued and police said Barre-Parrilla and Williams beat the woman repeatedly in the head before turning to her grocery cart and throwing out a package of fried chicken and a gallon of milk. Officers said the woman was left with a lump on her forehead, reports said. Barre-Parrilla and Williams were both arrested and booked into the Brevard County Jail Complex in Sharpes. Both were ordered held on $1,000 bonds, records show. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Vicky Re: What is the best graphics program? Dear Webby What is better, Corell Draw, Adobe Photoshop, PaintShop Pro or GIMP? Vicky Dear Gabby I could imagine religious wars being fought by the believers and fans of those programs. They are all good. Get whatever your mentor is using, or whoever it is that you might be asking for tips and tricks. PSP is probably best suited for fast and efficient web work. Adobe is common in traditional printing shops, and Corell is a favorite for machining and industrial applications. GIMP is a last resort to do really tricky stuff, but it is not very intuitive and often requires reading. If you have the time to learn GIMP, you got it all. GIMP is free, updated frequently and has very active and helpful user forums. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Re marriage: "My mother says to look for a man who is kind. So that's what I'll do. I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and kinda cute." -Carolyn, AGE 8 ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Foam Packing to Minimise Soap Scum By ShirleyE [59 Posts, 52 Comments] Soap scum can build up quickly in a large household. This attracts dirt and looks unsightly. Next time you buy something and it comes packed with thin plastic foam, trim it to size and place it under your soap. The foam can be quickly rinsed under a tap when necessary. This also works with a dish sponge. I have trimmed the corners off mine in a sort of vaguely feng shui manner ShirleyE ______________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________ Dogs prayer: Dear God, If we come back as humans in our next life, is that as punishment for jumping on the couch? ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Two women, who are dog owners, are arguing which dog is smarter: First woman: My dog is so smart. Every morning he waits for a paper boy to come around and then he takes a newspaper and brings it to me. Second woman: I know. First one: Who told you ?? Second one: My dog told me. ____________________________________________________ Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. "My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf." The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road, Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time, he is crouched behind a tree stump. "My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf." Again, the wolf jumps up and runs away. A couple of miles down the road, Red Riding Hood sees the wolf yet again, this time crouched down behind a road sign. "My, what teeth you have, Mr. Wolf." The irritable, Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you kindly get lost and stop snooping around every time I go to an outhouse!" ____________________________________________________ | Beautiful Spring cherry blossoms in Japan. |
| Today on March 24 1379 The Gelderse war ended. 1545 German Parliament opened in Worms. 1720 In Paris, banking houses closed due to financial crisis. 1765 Britain passed the Quartering Act that required the American colonies to house 10,000 British troops in public and private buildings. 1832 Mormon Joseph Smith was beaten, tarred and feathered in Ohio. 1837 Canada gave blacks the right to vote 1880 The first "hail insurance company" was incorporated in Connecticut. It was known as Tobacco Growers Mutual Insurance Company. 1882 In Berlin, German scientist Robert Koch announced the discovery of the tuberculosis germ (bacillus). 1904 Vice Adm. Tojo sank seven Russian ships as the Japanese strengthened their blockade of Port Arthur. 1905 In Crete, a group led by Eleutherios Venizelos claimed independence from Turkey. 1906 In Mexico, the Tehuantepec Istmian Railroad opened as a rival to the Panama Canal. 1911 In Denmark, penal code reform abolished corporal punishment. 1924 Greece became a republic. 1927 Chinese Communists seized Nanking and break with Chiang Kai-shek over the Nationalist goals. 1938 The U.S. asked that all powers help refugees fleeing from the Nazis. 1944 In Rome, The Gestapo rounded up innocent Italians and shot them to death in response to a bomb attack that killed 32 German policemen. Over 300 civilians were executed. 1946 The Soviet Union announced that it was withdrawing its troops from Iran. 1955 The first oil drill seagoing rig was put into service. 1976 The president of Argentina, Isabel Peron, was deposed by her country's military. 1985 Thousands demonstrated in Madrid against the NATO presence in Spain. 1989 The Exxon Valdez spilled 240,000 barrels (11 million gallons) of oil in Alaska's Prince William Sound after it ran aground. 1997 The Australian parliament overturned the world's first and only euthanasia law. 1998 In Jonesboro, AR, two young boys open fire at students from woods near a school. Four students and a teacher were killed and 10 others were injured. The two boys were 11 and 13 years old cousins. 1999 The 7-mile tunnel under Mont Blanc in France was an inferno after a truck carrying flour and margarine caught on fire. At least 30 people were killed. 2001 Apple Computer Inc's operating system MAC OS X went on sale. 2005 The government of Kyrgyzstan collapsed. 2006 In Spain, the Basque separatist group ETA announced a permanent cease-fire. 2014 It was announced that the U.S. and its allies would exclude Russia from the G8 meeting and boycott a planned summit in Sochi in response to Russia's takeover of Crimea. 2016 Do smiled. |
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