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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, February 17, in 1934, The first high school automobile drivers education course was introduced in State College, PA. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Virginia woman sends ex-boyfriend happy birthday texts before traveling to Louisa to kill him __________________________________________________ Q How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese? --- Charles De Gaulle (1890 - 1970) A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members. --- David Coblitz ________________________________________________ "Doctor!" said the woman as she loudly bounced into the room, "I want you to tell me very frankly what's wrong with me." He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you." "First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds in your lower half. Second, you should use only about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick as you did this morning. And third, I'm an artist - the doctor's office is on the next floor." __________________________________________________ Just think, if it weren't for women to tell them different, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. __________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Supposedly real questions Asked at National Parks *Everglades National Park:* Are the alligators real? Are the baby alligators for sale? Where are all the rides? What time does the two o'clock bus leave? *Mesa Verde National Park:* Did people build this, or did Indians? Why did they build the ruins so close to the road? Do you know of any undiscovered ruins? What did they worship in the kivas--their own made-up religion? Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado? *Carlsbad Caverns National Park:* How much of the cave is underground? So what's in the unexplored part of the cave? Does it ever rain in here? How many Ping-Pong balls would it take to fill this up? When did they build this ? *Denali National Park:* What time do you feed the bears? What's so wonderful about Wonder Lake? Can you show me where yeti lives? How often do you mow the tundra? How much does Mount McKinley weigh? *Yellowstone National Park:* Does Old Faithful erupt at night? How do you turn it on? When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep? We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are the exits? ________________________________________________ People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Two not too very bright city guys decided to go into the dairy business. They drove up to a dairy farm and asked the owner if he had any cows for sale. The owner had been trying to get rid of a non performing bull for years told them he would let his best producing cow go for a mere one thousand dollars. The 2 guys said wonderful and loaded up the bull and left. They got back to their place and tried to milk the bull but didn't get any milk. So one of the guys ran back to the farmer to find out how to get the milk flowing. The farmer told them they had to make the cow drink plenty of water and then pump the tail up and down. Satisfied the city slicker went back and he and his partner pushed the bull down to the stream. Well, the bull wasn't very thirsty and didn't drink so one guy held the bulls head in the water and the other guy pumped igorously with the tail. About that time the bull decided to take advantage of the raised tail and to dump some solids. The guy pumping yelled to his friend "Raise her head she is sucking mud." -------- Well, he sure would not try to hold the head of one of the 2500 pound bulls they have around here. Those bulls flip a car over if they don't like it's color. ___________________________________________________ Here is an old classic: An old cowboy went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am." She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women." A little while later, a couple sat down next to the old cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Erinn Ohse, 25, Andrew Poindexter, 26, Fredericksburg, Virginia USA Virginia woman sends ex-boyfriend happy birthday texts before traveling to Louisa to kill him A Fredericksburg woman texted her ex-boyfriend happy birthday moments before prosecutors say she hopped in a car with ski masks and guns to kill him dozens of miles away. On March 29, 2022, Erinn Ohse, 25, and her current boyfriend Andrew Poindexter, 26, allegedly traveled from Fredericksburg, Virginia to Louisa, Virginia with the intent to ransack Ohses ex-boyfriends home. According to the Louisa Commonwealth's Attorney's Office, the pair were unable to break through the front door, prompting Ohse to shoot repeatedly into her ex- boyfriends bedroom window, wounding a woman inside.According to the Louisa Commonwealth's Attorney's Office, the pair were unable to break through the front door, prompting Ohse to shoot repeatedly into her ex- boyfriends bedroom window, wounding a woman inside. The inhabitants of the home called 911, prompting Ohse and Poindexter to flee and begin a high-speed chase with local authorities that neared 120 mph at times. Ohse and Poindexter, prosecutors said, were eventually apprehended with a pound of marijuana in their vehicle, and it has since been revealed that Ohse had a previous romantic relationship with her target that ended over a year ago. On Feb. 15, Ohse pled guilty to attempting second-degree murder, use of a firearm in the commission of a felony and attempted armed burglary, among a litany of other charges. Poindexter also pled guilty to many of Ohses same charges in addition to possession with intent to distribute marijuana. "These two thought they were the modern-day Bonnie and Clyde, but now theyll have to face the serious consequences people face when they commit violent crimes in Louisa County," Louisa Assistant Attorney Alex Goodman stated on the crime. Ohse faces up to 63 years in prison, and Poindexter faces up to 70 years.Today is Fiday, February 17 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ____________________________________________________ Two redneck guys go on a fishing trip. They spend a fortune renting all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. The first day they go fishing,but don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day and the third . This goes on until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. While driving home One guy turns to the other ... "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us nearly $1500?" The other guy says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!" _____________________________________________________ A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!" The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Heyyy!Stop! I'm on the wrong bus! I don't wanna go where SHE goes!" _________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits from: Cynthia Re: What is the purpose of PDF format? Dear Webby I find the PDF format to be a nuisance and chicanery and have hated it ever since they came up with it in the late 80s. What is the real purpose of it, aside from annoying me and extracting money from people? Cynthia Dear Cynthia You probably remember the dot matrix printers, line printers from the 80s, with each one interpreting text just slightly different. Originally PDF was used to translate a whole page of individual lines into a print batch, that was then sent to the printer in one shot like a picture, instead of each line separately. That ensured that the result looked precisely the way the sender intended, not differently depending on what brand of printer was used by the recipient. If you saved a PDF file, it was basically a picture of the intended page, not text. That also ensured that the person who received the file could not mess with it and change the numbers on an invoice. Ebooks also benefitted from that. You could not copy an eBook and just change the name of the author to yours. Eventually ways were developed to put editable fields into PDF pages, and then came OCR readers, that translate entire books from PDF to regular text. Nowadays you can translate anything to PDF format, even pictures, and some scanners offer PDF as the output choice. You can also convert a PDF page to a picture format like JPG, paste a picture of your signature onto it, and save it back to PDF again. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Today, February 17 in 1801, The U.S. House of Representatives broke an electoral tie between Thomas Jefferson and Aaron Burr. Jefferson was elected president and Burr became vice president. 1817, The first gaslit streetlights appeared on the streets of Baltimore, MD. 1865, Columbia, SC, burned. The Confederates were evacuating and the Union Forces were moving in. 1876, Julius Wolff was credited with being the first to can sardines. 1878, In San Francisco, CA, the first large city telephone exchange opened. It had only 18 phones. 1897, The National Congress of Mothers was organized in Washington, DC, by Alice McLellan Birney and Phoebe Apperson Hearst. It was the forerunner of the National PTA. 1913, The Armory Show opened at the 69th Regiment Armory in New York City. The full-scale exhibition was of contemporary paintings and was organized by the Association of Painters and Sculptors. 1924, Swimmer Johnny Weissmuller set a world record in the 100-yard freestyle. He did it with a time of 57-2/5 seconds in Miami, FL. 1933, Blondie Boopadoop married Dagwood Bumstead three years after Chic Youngs popular strip first debuted. 1934, The first high school automobile drivers education course was introduced in State College, PA. 1944, During World War II, the Battle of Eniwetok Atoll began. U.S. forces won the battle on February 22, 1944. 1947, The Voice of America began broadcasting to the Soviet Union. 1964, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that congressional districts within each state had to be approximately equal in population. (Westberry v. Sanders) 1992, In Milwaukee, serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer was sentenced to life in prison. In November of 1994, he was beaten to death in prison. 1995, Colin Ferguson was convicted of six counts of murder in the December 1993 Long Island Rail Road shootings. He was later sentenced to a minimum of 200 years in prison. 1996, World chess champion Garry Kasparov beat the IBM supercomputer "Deep Blue" in Philadelphia, PA. 1997, Pepperdine University announced that Kenneth Starr was leaving the Whitewater probe to take a full-time job at the school. Starr reversed the announcement four days later. 2022 Do smiled. https://www.cloudwards.net/how-to-uninstall-microsoft- edge/
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