Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, October 17 ____________________________________________________ Today, October 17 in  1931 Al Capone was convicted on income tax evasion and was sentenced to 11 years in prison. He was released in 1939. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Guilty Plea In Oral Demands Assault Case  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ Talk low, talk slow, and don't talk too much. --- John Wayne (1907 - 1979) The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. --- P. J. O'Rourke (1947 - ) "The man who keeps busy helping the man below him won't have time to envy the man above him." --- Henrietta Mears "One day in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." --- Sigmund Freud _______________________________________________ A little girl and her mother were out and about. The girl, out of the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?" The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older." The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up." The girl still wanting to know about her mother, then fires off another question, "Mommy, Why did you and daddy get divorced?" The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now." The little girl, frustrated, sulks until she is dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consults with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation. The girlfriend says, "All you have to do is sneak and look at your mother's driver's license. It's just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything." Later, the little girl and her mother are out and about again. The little girl starts off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old." The mother is very shocked. She asks, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?" The little girl shrugs and says, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 175 pounds." "Where did you learn that?" The little girl says, "I just know. And I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex." ________________________________________________` Thanks to Penny for this:   ____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________     An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Amy Parrino, 44, Columbia, Missouri  Guilty Plea In Oral Demands Assault Case  The naked Missouri woman who sat on her boyfriend's face and demanded that he perform oral sex on her has pleaded guilty to a domestic violence charge, according to court records. Amy Parrino, 44, copped last month to a felony assault charge and was sentenced to three years in custody, though a Circuit Court judge stayed the execution of the prison term and placed the Columbia resident on five years probation. As part of a plea deal, prosecutors dropped a felony sexual assault charge against Parrino, who worked prior to her arrest as an embalmer's assistant at a mortuary. Parrino had been locked up in the Boone County jail since her arrest last December. She was released following her sentencing and ordered to have no contact with the victim. Parrino is pictured above in a mug shot snapped in late-September. Police arrested Parrino following a violent confrontation in the couple's Columbia home, according to a probable cause affidavit. The victim told cops that Parrino punched him and struck him with a variety of items, including a belt and a cell phone. During the incident, Parrino, who was naked, chased the man around the residence before shoving him to the ground. She then sat atop the victim and directed him to eat my pussy while perched on his face. The man told police that he was briefly unable to breathe while Parrino sat on his face, and that he was scared to death during the domestic assault. The victim added that he told Parrino to leave him alone and that he didn't want to do anything sexual with her. The affidavit reported that the victim had cuts on his arms and a cut on the bridge of his nose (which the man said was from when Parrino sat on his face ). Red marks on his chest, the man added, were a result of Parrino striking him with a belt. Parrino is scheduled for a court hearing tomorrow to determine the amount of court costs, fees, and restitution she will be responsible for paying. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Carolyn Re: What to unplug  Dear Webby, I have a Dell laptop and at night I unplug it. Should I also turn off my 660 series that shows the Internet lights? Carolyn  Dear Carolyn I imagine that your "660 series" is your cable modem. There is no need to shut the modem down. It has no moving parts that wear out. Modems usually become obsolete and are replaced with faster ones, long before they die of old age. If you use Voice Over IP telephone, then the modem also acts as a splitter, to peel off the phone channel, and your phones will stop working if you unplug the modem. As long as you have a surge protector before your power bar, it is best to leave th modem and router plugged in. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 On a visit to Chicago, Jill was eager to visit a posh department store about a dozen blocks from their hotel. Her husband obligingly hailed a cab. They got in and he told the driver, "My wife wants to go to Neiman Marcus." The cabby looked over his shoulder at us and said, "And the gentleman? Does he want to go to the bank or the pawn shop?" 
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 During a sermon the pastor stated that money wasn't important in the afterlife, because in heaven, there is no money. One parishioner loudly stage-whispered to his wife, "Did you hear that, Maude? We're already in heaven." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Carry Extra Zip-Lock Bags When Traveling When you travel, throw in a few extra zip-lock bags. They are great for wet swimsuits, a half-full bottle of shampoo, some animal crackers for the car, or even to fill with ice at the motel to use in the cooler while you drive. thriftyfun.Com  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
Hawaiian Wonderland 
 ___________________________________________________ Kathrina was visiting the modern art museum and turned to an attendant standing nearby. "This," she sneered, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?" "Yes madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called 'The Mirror'." ___________________________________________________ An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was." ___________________________________________________ The gentleman stopped to talk to the small girl who was making mud pies on the sidewalk. "My word," he exclaimed, "you are pretty dirty, aren't you, little girl?" "Yes," she replied, "but I am prettier clean." __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, October 17 in 1739 Thomas Coram was granted a Royal Charter from George II so a "hospital for the maintenance and education of exposed and deserted young children" in Londond, England. 1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY. It was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War. 1888 The first issue of "National Geographic Magazine" was released at newsstands. 1931 Al Capone was convicted on income tax evasion and was sentenced to 11 years in prison. He was released in 1939. 1933 Nobel prize winner Dr. Albert Einstein moved to Princeton, NJ, after leaving Germany. 1945 Colonel Juan Peron became the dictator of Argentina after staging a coup in Buenos Aires. 1973 The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) began an oil-embargo against several countries including the U.S. and Great Britain. The incident stemmed from Western support of Israel when Egypt and Syria attacked the nation on October 6, 1973. The embargo lasted until March of 1974. 1978 U.S. President Carter signed a bill that restored full U.S. citizenship rights to Confederate President Jefferson Davis. 1979 Mother Teresa of India was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. 1987 U.S. First Lady Nancy Reagan underwent a modified radical mastectomy at Bethesda Naval Hospital in Maryland. 1989 An earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter Scale hit the San Francisco Bay area in California. The quake caused about 67 deaths, 3,000 injuries, and damages up to $7 billion. 1994 Israel and Jordan initialed a draft peace treaty. 1994 The Angolan government and rebels agreed to a peace treaty that ended their 19 years of civil war. 1997 The remains of revolutionary Ernesto "Che" Guevara were laid to rest in his adopted Cuba, 30 years after his execution in Bolivia. 2000 In New York City, Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum opened to the public. The 42nd Street location joined Tussaud's other exhibitions already in London, Hong Kong, Amsterdam and Las Vegas. 2001 Israel's tourism minister was killed. A radical Palestinian faction claimed that it had carried out the assassination to avenge the killing of its leader by Israel 2 months earlier. 2001 Pakistan placed its armed forces on high alert because of troop movements by India in the disputed territory of Kashmir. India said that the movements were part of a normal troop rotation. 2001 Italian priest Giuseppe "Beppe" Pierantoni was kidnapped by the terrorist group the "Pentagon." He was released on April 8, 2002. 2003 In the U.S., the Food and Drug Administration approved a drug, known as memantine, to help people with Alzheimer's symptoms. 2003 In Taipei, Taiwan, construction crews finished 1,676-foot- tall-building called Taipei 101. The building was planned to open for business in 2004. 2003 In northwest England, the Carnforth railway station reopened as a heritage center. 2019 Do smiled.