Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, February 16 Got my computer back. It seems like some tech at Staples now has my W7, and I got stuck with his W10. Yes, I have now joined the Millions who scream:"I HATE W10!!!" Compared to a well customized W7, W10 is a slow and very awkward piece of crap. It is truly amazing what Microsoft is doing to drive me to the Mac side. Luckily I have Linux on the side. ___________________________________________________ Today, February 16 in 1968 - In the U.S., the first 911 emergency telephone system was inaugurated in Haleyville, AL. ______________________________________________________ I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it. --- Mary Chase (1887 - 1973) ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Teen charged with shooting, killing boyfriend in Wichita __________________________________________ >From Dale Subject: Men.......be careful when you go to the bathroom. A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells. "You're scaring my customers!" "I'm just sitting here on the toilet," slurs the drunk, "and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls." With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!" __________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sending me this picture: Tallest Mud Hut __________________________________________ >From Connie Consider the young woman who took her child for a routine check-up to a new pediatrician. On the records, the nurse saw that the child's first name was Urine (pronounced you-ree'-nee). Not wanting to be rude, but wanting to know why the woman would give her child such a name, the nurse questioned her. "Well, my baby was born prematurely," the woman said, "and had to stay in the special nursery. She was real sick and they didn't know if she would make it, so I didn't name her at first." She looked at the little baby, then back at the nurse. "The nurses at the hospital said they would pray for her," she went on. "One day I came in and there was this paper on her incubator that said 'Please Save Urine,' so I knew that they had already named her." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Teen charged with shooting, killing boyfriend in Wichita Rina Nguyen, 18, Wichita, Kansas Wichita police have arrested an 18-year-old suspect in connection to the shooting death of her 22-year-old boyfriend. Jail records show Rina Nguyen was booked early Thursday morning for first-degree murder and criminal discharge of a firearm in an occupied dwelling. She's being held on $300,000 bond. Officers responded at around 5:45 p.m. Wednesday to reports of shots fired a Nguyen's home in the 1500 block of South Battin, near Harry and Oliver. They arrived to find Amare Holt who had suffered multiple gunshot wounds. He died at a local hospital. Lt. Jeff Gilmore said Nguyen and Holt got into an argument prior to the shooting. "During an argument, Rina Nguyen pulled out a handgun and fired at Holt as he was walking out the front door, striking him multiple times," Gilmore said. A bullet also struck a nearby home, but no one inside was hurt. Nguyen fled the home but later returned and was arrested without further incident. A 17-year-old girl who was in the home at the time of the shooting was not hurt. Since she killed him while he was leaving, and fired multiple shots, she is eligible for the death penalty, after Legal Aid lawyers will fight against it for 15 - 30 years. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Hillarie Re: Printer Dear Webby Not the evil one. I am Hillarie. At what printing volume should I change from ink to laser? Thanks Hillarie Dear Hillarie If you print. Cheap 4 function ink squirters are good scanners and fax machines, but not really that good for printing. If you print a lot, then the ink bill will kill you, if you don't, it will dry up in the jets and the ink bill will kill you. Considering how Lasers have come down in price, just get one and forget the ink squirter hassles. I got 17 years out of my DELL 1320c color laser, and now use a DELL-Lexmark 2425 color laser, that seems to be military grade. It is extremely heavy, uses cast iron instead of plastic, and is totally quiet. No HP style rocking and rolling, it just quietly puts out 20 or more pages per minute without any shaking or vibrating. Very impressive! Also impressive is that it prints double-sided. Unless you take the checkmark OFF the double sided setting, it cheerfully puts page 2 behind page 1. That is handy when printing long stuff, or if an invoice has a footer that would otherwise go onto a second piece of paper. Line up a STRONG helper to haul it in and set it up. It probably weighs more than you do! I was still in mourning for my good old DELL 1320c when I set this one up, so I was initially not very kind to it. However, that soon changed, and now I love it. Best printer I ever had! And it was the cheapest color laser Dell had on that day. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Consider the man who couldn't make up his mind what to order, no matter how long and hard he studied the menu. Finally, he turned to the waiter for help. "Well," said the waiter, "today our special is chicken on a bed of wild rice with green beans almondine and a nice side salad, with a succulent shrimp cocktail and your choice of beverage and dessert." "That sounds great. How is your chicken prepared?" "We break it to him very gently and tell him it's nothing personal!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ A woman drove a minivan filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign. "Hey, lady," shouted a man in another car, "don't you know when to stop?" She rolled down her window and shouted back, "What makes you think these are all mine?" _____________________________________________ A couple invites a group of friends to dinner. As they sit down at the table, the wife turns to their 6-year-old daughter and says, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replies. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answers. The daughter bows her head and says, "Lord, why on earth did Dave invite all these mooches to dinner?" ____________________________________________ A tiny but dignified old lady is attending an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery when one contemporary painting catches her eye. "What on earth is that?" she inquires of the artist, standing nearby. He smiles condescendingly. "That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a mother and her child." "Well, then," snaps the little old lady, "why isn't it?" ____________________________________________ | No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 16 in 1741 Benjamin Franklin published Americas second magazine, "The General Magazine and Historical Chronicle". 1804 A raid was led by Lt. Stephen Decatur to burn the U.S. Navy frigate Philadelphia. The ship had been taken by pirates. 1857 The National Deaf Mute College was incorporated in Washington, DC. It was the first school in the world for advanced education of the deaf. The school was later renamed Gallaudet College. 1862 During the U.S. Civil War, about 14,000 Confederate soldiers surrendered to Gen. Ulysses S. Grant at Fort Donelson, TN. 1868 The Jolly Corks organization, in New York City, changed it name to the Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks (BPOE). 1883 "Ladies Home Journal" began publication. 1914 The first airplane flight between Los Angeles and San Francisco took place. 1918 Lithuania proclaimed its independence. 1923 Howard Carter unsealed the burial chamber of Egyptian Pharaoh Tutankhamen. The next day he entered the chamber with several invited guests. He had originally found the tomb on November 4, 1922. 1932 The first fruit tree patent was issued to James E. Markham for a peach tree which ripens later than other varieties. 1937 Wallace H. Carothers received a patent for nylon. Carothers was a research chemist for Du Pont. 1938 The U.S. Federal Crop Insurance program was authorized. 1945 During World War II, U.S. troops landed on the island of Corregidor in the Philippines. 1946 The first commercially designed helicopter was tested in Connecticut. 1948 NBC-TV began airing its first nightly newscast, "The Camel Newsreel Theatre", which consisted of Fox Movietone newsreels. 1858 The first ironing board was patented by William Vandenburg and James Harvey. 1959 Fidel Castro seized power in Cuba after the overthrow of President Fulgencio Batista. 1960 The U.S.S. Triton began the first circumnavigation of the globe under water. The trip ended on May 10. 1962 Jimmy Bostwick defeated his brother, Pete, to win the U.S. Open Court-Tennis championships for the third time. 1970 Joe Frazier began his reign as the undefeated heavyweight world champion when he knocked out Jimmy Ellis in five rounds. He lost the title on January 22, 1973, when he lost for the first time in his professional career to George Foreman. 1985 "Kojak" returned to network television after an absence of seven years with the CBS-TV special, "Kojak: The Belarus File." 1987 John Demjanjuk went on trial in Jerusalem. He was accused of being "Ivan the Terrible", a guard at the Treblinka concentration camp. He was convicted, but the Israeli Supreme Court overturned the ruling. 1989 Investigators in Lockerbie, Scotland, announced that a bomb hidden inside a radio-cassette player was the reason that Pan Am Flight 103 was brought down the previous December. All 259 people aboard and 11 on the ground were killed. 1999 A bomb exploded at the government headquarters in Uzbekistan. Gunfire followed the incident. The event apparently was an attempt on the life of President Islam Karimov. 1999 Kurds seized embassies and held hostages across Europe following Turkey's arrest of Kurdish rebel leader Abdullah Ocalan. 1999 Testimony began in the Jasper, TX, trial of John William King. He was charged with murder in the gruesome dragging death of James Byrd Jr. King was later convicted and sentenced to death. 2002 The operator of a crematory in Noble, GA, was arrested after dozens of corpses were found stacked in storage sheds and scattered around in the surrounding woods. 2005 The Kyoto global warming pact went into effect in 140 nations. 2005 The NHL announced the cancellation of the 2004-2005 season due to a labor dispute. It was the first time a major sports league in North America lost an entire season to a labor dispute. 2020 Do smiled. |
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