Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, September 270 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ____________________________________________________ Today, September 27 in 1982 Italian and French soldiers entered the Sabra and Chatilla refugee camps in Beirut. The move was made by the members of a multinational force due to hundreds of Palestinians being massacred by Christian militiamen. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you lcan help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: 1 in 7 New Orleans Adults is the Target of an Arrest Warrant, Dems Want to Clean the Slate and Start Over _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. --- Rodney Dangerfield (1921 - 2004) _______________________________________________ A minister, a priest and a rabbi were discussing when life begins. "Those of my faith," said the minister, "believe that life starts when the heart begins to beat." "We take a different view," said the priest. "We believe life starts at the moment of conception." "Well," said the rabbi, "it is our belief that life starts when the kids move out." ________________________________________________` Thanks to Trish for this picture: The Nicobar pigeon, is the closest living relative to the now extinct dodo bird ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Councilman Jason Williams New Orleans, 1 in 7 New Orleans Adults is the Target of an Arrest Warrant, Dems Want to Clean the Slate and Start Over What is wrong with Liberal America? I don't know how many people caught the recent news that 1 in 7 New Orleans adults has a pending arrest warrant. There are more than 56,000 outstanding warrants in New Orleans's Municipal Court, dating to 2002, according to city data. A staggering 1 of 7 adults in the country's 50th-largest city have a warrant out for their arrest. So how do they intend to fix this situation? Democrats simply want to act like those warrants were never issued and wipe them from the books. The main reason so many people are in this cycle is because they are poor and they could not get off work and did not have child care, they couldn't afford that fine on the front end, Democrat City Councilman Jason Williams said. Williams is proposing a resolution to wipe out nearly all of the tens of thousands of arrest warrants and waive the accumulated court fines and fees. Rafael Goyeneche from the Metropolitan Crime Commission called what Williams is proposing a slippery slope. This is not just about forgiving all of these fines and fees because if you do that, essentially then why should anybody pay their fines and fees in any criminal case, Goyeneche said. People that do not show up for court do not respect the law. It's that simple. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: From Britta Re: Where is my DOS? Dear Webby, I held on to Windows XT as long as I could, but finally had to switch to W7 with this laptop. Where is the DOS icon ? Are those rumors that W7 doesn't have DOS any more true? I'll be lost without my bats!!! Britta === Dear Britta Relax! DOS is alive and well in the basement of Windows 7. Windows 7 has a totally different philosophy behind it. Part of it is based on French tanks (15 speeds in reverse and one forward, just in case the enemy attacks from the rear) The rest of it is based on that joke of the gynecologist who became a car mechanic and fixed an engine by doing all the work by reaching into it through the muffler. If you can grasp those two concepts simultaneously, then you truly understand Windows 7. That is why you can't set the explorer to go straight to the C: drive but have to slither towards that by devious routes. To get a DOS icon, make a bat with these two lines in it: @echo off cmd cd c:\ and an empty line below that. Save it as dxp.bat in your C: directory and make a desktop shortcut to it. When you click that shortcut, you get a DOS window with the prompt in root directory. You can, of course change that from c:\ to wherever you want. It's in a bland grey on black, but you can change that right from the bat: @echo off cmd /T:9e cd c:\ That gets you a high energy combo of yellow text on bright blue. If you right-click on the top bar, you can set your defaults. Right-clicking on the top bar also lets you get to Edit Mark Copy / Edit Paste. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks. "Oh, 'bout One-sixty-five." he says. The nurse puts him on the scale. It turns out that his weight is 187. The nurse asks, "Your height?" "Oh, 'bout six feet," he says. The nurse checks and sees that he's only 5 feet 8 3/4 inches. She then takes his blood pressure, and it's very high. "High!" The man explains, "Of course it's high. When I came in here, I was tall and lanky. Now, durnit, I'm short and overweight!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Thanks to Gayle for this one: An older woman went to the doctor for a check up. The doctor told her she needed more cardiovascular activity and recommended that she engage in sexual activity three times a week. A bit embarrassed, she said to the doctor, "Please tell my husband." The doctor went out into the waiting room and told the husband that his wife needed sex three times a week. The husband replied, "Which days?" The doctor answered, "Monday, Tuesday, and Friday would be ideal." The husband said, "I can bring her on Monday, but on Tuesdays and Friday I golf, so she'll have to take the bus." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Soup is Too Sweet? If you make soup or sauce and it comes out too sweet, just add a little salt or a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar to it. Taste it after every addition to make sure it has been corrected. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Gloria for this one: I was in the kitchen one day, trying to reach the baking powder on the top shelf of a cabinet. Being only five feet tall, I had to stretch, but still couldn't grab the box. Fortunately, I have two six-foot-tall sons whom I often call to come to my rescue. "Hey, Brian!" I yelled to my second son, who was in the living room. "Will you get your tallness in here and get this for me?" "Sure, Mom," he remarked as he bounded into the kitchen. "But next time, I'd prefer the title, 'Your Highness'." ___________________________________________________ An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made. "For instance," he said, "some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles." "What on earth would one whale say to another 300 miles away?" asked a sarcastic member of the group. "I'm not absolutely sure," answered the expert, "but it sounds something like 'Heeeeeeey! Can you hear meeeeee?'." ___________________________________________________ A man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just a lazy old fart." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term in latin, so that I can tell my wife." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, September 27 in 1779 John Adams was elected to negotiate with the British over the American Revolutionary War peace terms. 1825 George Stephenson operated the first locomotive that hauled a passenger train. 1894 The Aqueduct Race Track opened in New York City, NY. 1928 The U.S. announced that it would recognize the Nationalist Chinese Government (Formosa - Taiwan). 1938 The League of Nations branded the Japanese as aggressors in China. 1939 After 19 days of mostly symbolic resistance, Warsaw, Poland, surrendered to the Germans after being invaded by the Nazis and the Soviet Union during World War II. 1940 The Berlin-Rome-Tokyo Axis was set up. The military and economic pact was for 10 years between Germany, Italy and Japan. 1962 The U.S. sold Hawk anti-aircraft missiles to Israel. 1968 The U.K.'s entry into the European Common Market was barred by France. 1973 U.S. Vice President Spiro Agnew said he would not resign after he pled "no contest" to a charge of tax evasion. He did resign on October 10th. 1982 Italian and French soldiers entered the Sabra and Chatilla refugee camps in Beirut. The move was made by the members of a multinational force due to hundreds of Palestinians being massacred by Christian militiamen. 1989 Columbia Pictures Entertainment agreed to buyout Sony Corporation for $3.4 billion. 1989 Two men went over the 176-foot-high Niagara Falls in a barrel. Jeffrey Petkovich and Peter Debernardi were the first to ever survive the Horshoe Falls. 1990 The deposed emir of Kuwait addressed the U.N. General Assembly and denounced the "rape, destruction and terror" that Iraq had inflicted upon his country. 1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush eliminated all land-based tactical nuclear arms and removed all short-range nuclear arms from ships and submarines around the world. Bush then called on the Soviet Union to do the same. 2004 North Korean Vice Foreign Minister Choe Su Hon announced that North Korea had turned plutonium from 8,000 spent nuclear fuel rods into nuclear weapons. He also said that the weapons were to serve as a deterrent against increasing U.S. nuclear threats and to prevent nuclear war in northeast Asia. The U.S. State Department noted that the U.S. has repeatedly said that the U.S. has no plans to attack North Korea. 2019 Do smiled. |
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