Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, April 18 ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Manhunt continues after shooting leaves female Phoenix police officer badly injured __________________________________________________ On April 17 in 1980, Rhodesia became in independent nation of Zimbabwe. They changed fom a grain exporter to beging for food. __________________________________________________ The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else. --- Umberto Eco (1932 - ) "The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes." --- Sir. Winston Churchill "A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject." --- Sir. Winston Churchill ____________________________________________________ >From Cindy: While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a lingerie store caught my eye. "Do you think Daddy would like this?" I asked the kids, as I pointed to a lacy teddy with matching robe. "No way," my horrified six-year-old son replied. "Daddy would NEVER wear THAT!" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ What a bunch of Boneheads! A Bonehead award goes to the Mexican relatives of of 11 wanna-be immigrants who forgot to take their water bottles along and tragically died of dehydration while trying to illegally sneak into the United States through the desert in Arizona in the spring. They have now filed a $41 million lawsuit against the U.S. Federal Government for not putting water fountains in the desert for illegal immigrants to use when they try sneaking in. ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Thousands of UK men are getting the brush-off when women they are interested in hand them their phone number as 01279 633 452 which when called tells the hapless Romeos, "The person you are calling was obviously not interested. For advice on personal hygiene, improving your dress sense or better ways of approaching females, please hold." Then the message continues, "I'm sorry, all our operators are busy washing their hair." For the US there are plenty of "Rejection Lines". Here are some: (646) 926-6614: The Mary Sue Rejection Hotline, which will say, Oh hello there. If youre hearing this message, youve made a woman feel unsafe and/or disrespected. Please learn to take no for an answer and respect womens emotional and physical autonomy. K THANKKS. Best of all, itll send texts as well, and waits an hour to send the text once its received one so you have time to bounce. (719) 266-2837: Call and Oates, which lets callers pick a classic Hall and Oates song to play. (605) 475-6968: The Rejection Hotline, which politely explains to the individual that whoever gave them this number is not into them. (888) 447-5594: An easter egg hotline for finishing the first God of War. By the gods, youve done it! (206) 569-5829: The Loser Line, a Seattle radio station phone number that rejected people can call and leave a message. Those recorded messages will sometimes air during the stations morning show. ____________________________________________________ What a bunch of Boneheads! A Bonehead award goes to the Mexican relatives of of 11 wanna-be immigrants who forgot to take their water bottles along and tragically died of dehydration while trying to illegally sneak into the United States through the desert in Arizona in the spring. They have now filed a $41 million lawsuit against the U.S. Federal Government for not putting water fountains in the desert for illegal immigrants to use when they try sneaking in. I have been in the desert in Arizona and I don't find it that hostile. It's not a sand desert, but has shrubs and cacti and low bushes growing in it, and there are birds and animals that live there year round. However, if you want shade and Tequila, you better carry it along yourself. This picture, which I took there one spring, when I sent the Humor Letter from a different spot in the desert every night, shows my dad taking a picture of a blooming cactus. The picture gives you an idea of what the desert in Arizona looks like. ___________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicholas Cowan, 35, Phoenix, Arizona, USA Manhunt continues after shooting leaves female Phoenix police officer badly injured The shooting, according to police, happened near 27th Street and Beardsley Road, and the suspect, identified as Nicholas Cowan, is still on the loose. The officer shot is now in stable condition. Police say the accused shooter's vehicle was located, but the suspect is still on the run. Shooting happened at convenience store. Shooting happened at convenience store Officers say they responded to a domestic violence call near 27th Street and Beardsley Road. At a convenience store, they said a woman called them, saying she went to the gas station to meet with officers and talk to them about the situation because she was too scared to meet at her home. "They were over there for a while, talking to a lady. I turn my back when [I hear] gunshots, maybe 10 of them, and see an officer drop," said witness Gary Macagni. Witnesses saw one officer jump onto the other to provide cover, but the damage was already done. "They took an ambulance out, down the street that way, with about four or five police cars following the ambulance," said Gene Onstein. "In the four critical incidents that we had where Phoenix officers were shot and or injured, each one of the suspects had a previous criminal record," said Phoenix Police Chief Jeri Williams, on April 15. "They were prior felons, and they should not have had access to guns. We really need to wrap our arms around that." Manhunt continues after shooting leaves female Phoenix police officer badly injured The shooting, according to police, happened near 27th Street and Beardsley Road, and the suspect, identified as Nicholas Cowan, is still on the loose. The officer shot is now in stable condition. The officer shot, who was identified as a 40-year-old female officer, was hit at least once in the stomach. She was taken to Deer Valley Medical Center and was initially listed in critical condition. The officer injured, according to police, is also married to a Phoenix police officer and is a mother. "This is a family of public servants to our community, who have dedicated their lives to protecting and serving you," said Chief Williams. According to a tweet released by police, the officer is now in stable condition after having surgery to remove a bullet. The suspect, identified as Nicholas Cowan, is described as a 35-year-old, 6-foot, 215-pound white male wearing a black hat, white T-shirt and black shorts. He has neck tattoos and may be bleeding. Officers say he was last seen near 32nd Street and Union Hills. "I will say this: I am confident we will find this man," said Chief Williams. In a public safety alert sent to smartphones in the Phoenix area on April 14, officials describe Cowan as armed and dangerous and ask people to call 911 if they see him. That means "Dead or alive, preferably DEAD. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Fides Re: Archive Dear Webby Hi there...............hope all is good on your end. I am trying to get into the archives, but it would not open. Are you aware of that? Can it be fixed? Thank you for your attention. Fides Dear Fides The archive has been turned off about twenty five years ago. With just one visitor every second year, it was wasted expense. What were you trying to find? Have FUN! 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_____________________________________________ A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mom says I'm not". ______________________________________________ A government employee is badly hurt falling down the stairs of the Capital Building in Washington, DC. He is taken to hospital where he remains in a coma for several days. Finally, an eye opens and his doctor tells him: "My friend, I have bad news and I have good news. First of all, you'll never be able to work again..." "Oh!" muttered the injured bureaucrat. "What's the bad news?" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. "You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?" "That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks." "But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks." "You DO?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar, or just a squeeze of lemon?" ___________________________________________________ | Today, April 18, in 1521, Martin Luther confronted the emperor Charles V in the Diet of Worms and refused to retract his views that led to his excommunication. 1676, Sudbury, Massachusetts, was attacked by Indians. 1775, American revolutionaries Paul Revere, William Dawes and Samuel Prescott rode though the towns of Massachusetts giving the warning that the Regulars were coming out. Later, the phrase "the British are coming" was attributed to Revere even though it is unlikely he used that wording. 1791, National Guardsmen prevented Louis XVI and his family from leaving Paris. 1818, A regiment of Indians and blacks were defeated at the Battle of Suwann, in Florida, ending the first Seminole War. 1838, The Wilkes' expedition to the South Pole set sail. 1846, The telegraph ticker was patented by R.E. House 1847, U.S. troops defeated almost 17,000 Mexican soldiers commanded by Santa Anna at Cerro Gordo. (Mexican-American War) 1853, The first train in Asia began running from Bombay to Tanna. 1861, Colonel Robert E. Lee turned down an offer to command the Union armies during the U.S. Civil War. 1877, Charles Cros wrote a paper that described the process of recording and reproducing sound. In France, Cros is regarded as the inventor of the phonograph. In the U.S., Thomas Edison gets the credit. 1895, New York State passed an act that established free public baths. 1906, San Francisco, CA, was hit with an earthquake. The original death toll was cited at about 700. Later information indicated that the death toll may have been 3 to 4 times the original estimate. 1910, Walter R. Brookins made the first airplane flight at night. 1923, Yankee Stadium opened in the Bronx, NY. The Yankees beat the Boston Red Sox 4-1. John Phillip Sousa's band played the National Anthem. 1924, Simon and Schuster, Inc. published the first "Crossword Puzzle Book." 1934, The first Laundromat opened in Fort Worth, TX. 1937, Leon Trotsky called for the overthrow of Soviet leader Josef Stalin. 1938, Superman made his debut when he appeared in the first issue of Action Comics. (Cover date June 1938) 1942, James H. Doolittle and his squadron, from the USS Hornet, raided Tokyo and other Japanese cities. 1942, The Vichy government capitulated to Adolf Hitler and invited Pierre Laval to form a new government in France. 1943, Traveling in a bomber, Japanese Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto, was shot down by American P-38 fighters. 1945, American war correspondent Ernie Pyle was killed by Japanese gunfire on the Pacific island of Iwo Shima, off Okinawa. He was 44 years old. 1946, The League of Nations was dissolved. 1949, The Republic of Ireland was established. 1950, The first transatlantic jet passenger trip was completed. 1954, Colonel Gamal Abdel Nasser seized power in Egypt. 1956, Actress Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier of Monaco were married. The religious ceremony took place April 19. 1960, The Mutual Broadcasting System was sold to the 3M Company of Minnesota for $1.25 million. 1978, The U.S. Senate approved the transfer of the Panama Canal to Panama on December 31, 1999. 1980, Rhodesia became in independent nation of Zimbabwe. They changed fom a grain exporter to beging for food. 1983, The U.S. Embassy in Beirut was blown up by a suicide car-bomber. 63 people were killed including 17 Americans. 1984, Daredevils Mike MacCarthy and Amanda Tucker made a sky dive from the Eiffel Tower. The jump ended safely. 1985, Ted Turner filed for a hostile takeover of CBS. 1989, Thousands of Chinese students demanding democracy tried to storm Communist Party headquarters in Beijing. 1999, Wayne Gretzky (New York Rangers) played his final game in the NHL. He retired as the NHL's all-time leading scorer and holder of 61 individual records. 2002, Actor Robert Blake and his bodyguard were arrested in connection with the shooting death of Blake's wife about a year before. 2002, The Amtrack Auto Train derailed in a remote area of north Florida. Four people were killed and 133 were injured. 2002, The city legislature of Berlin decided to make Marlene Dietrich an honorary citizen. Dietrich had gone to the United States in 1930. She refused to return to Germany after Adolf Hitler came to power. 2022 Do smiled. |
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