Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, September 14 Thank you, Russell! __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Naked drunk drove golf cart through standoff with armed suspect ___________________________________________________ Today, Sept 13 in 1940 The Selective Service Act was passed by the U.S. Congress providing the first peacetime draft in the United States to prepare for WWII. ____________________________________________________ The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget. --- Thomas Szasz ____________________________________________________ I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. A friend left me alone in a restaurant with her 16-month-old kid. I asked, "What do I do if he cries?" She said, "Give him some vegetables." It turns out that jalapenos are not his favorite vegetable and I will not be asked to babysit again. ____________________________________________________ Pumpkin ____________________________________________________ No wonder kids are confused today. Half the adults tell them to find themselves; the other half tell them to get lost. ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jessica_Smith, 28, Boston, Massachusetts, USA Naked drunk drove golf cart through standoff with armed suspect While Pinellas deputies were in the middle of a tense standoff with an armed man on the roof of a Dunedin home on Sunday, they said a naked woman who drove through the scene on a golf cart made the situation even more dangerous for law enforcement. Deputies were setting up a perimeter outside of a home in the 1100 block of Michigan Blvd just after midnight on Sunday after they said 18-year-old Myles Abbott fired a gun at people in the area, ran from deputies and climbed onto the roof of the house, pointing the firearm at them. It was the beginning of a SWAT standoff that lasted six hours. That's when they said 28-year-old Jessica Smith, from Boston, Massachusetts, drove past several marked Pinellas sheriff patrol units in a golf cart. As Smith approached the home where the armed standoff was happening, deputies said she ignored their commands to leave the scene. Smith then refused to get out of the golf cart, so deputies took her out and handcuffed her. According to the affidavit, Smith had "a distinct odor of an alcoholic beverage coming from her person, and she was completely nude." "The defendant's actions and inability to follow directions put multiple deputies at risk for potentially getting shot at," investigators said in the affidavit. Deputies arrested Smith and charged her for resisting an officer without violence. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Glenda Re: Toner Dear Webby, There must be hundreds of toner dealers out there. Which ones can be trusted? Glenda Dear Glenda There are actually only a handful of real toner dealers, if even that. There are hundreds of order processors, but the toner seems to be shipped from the same national warehouses for all of them. Just pick the cheapest for your area. Keep in mind that most printers now use a sleazy counter and pretend to be out of toner, after you have printed a certain number of pages. With many of them you can find online instructions for resetting the counter. For example, if you have never printed anything yellow, or anything in any -color, just black, and the printer claims to be out of yellow, then it is obviously just the sleazy counter. Search on the net for how to reset the counter on that particular printer. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from all of the refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously, "but it seems to me that I've blessed all this stuff already." ____________________________________________ An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died. But until now, she'd never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued. "You must take the loyalty oath first," responded the passport clerk. "Raise your right hand, please." The old gal raised her right hand. "Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?" was the first question. The little old lady's face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice: "Uhhh... all by myself? Well, I suppose somebody is going to have to start doing that." ____________________________________________ Tammy and Ann were sitting in church during a rather lengthy sermon. Finally, Tammy turned to Ann and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!" Ann turned to her and said, "I know! I heard it snoring!" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, Sept 14, in 1812 Moscow was set on fire by Russians after Napoleon Bonaparte's troops invaded. 1814 Francis Scott Key wrote the "Star-Spangled Banner," a poem originally known as "Defense of Fort McHenry," after witnessing the British bombardment of Fort McHenry, MD, during the War of 1812. The song became the official U.S. national anthem on March 3, 1931. 1847 U.S. forces took control of Mexico City under the leadership of General Winfield Scott. 1866 George K. Anderson patented the typewriter ribbon. 1899 In New York City, Henry Bliss became the first automobile fatality. 1901 U.S. President William McKinley died of gunshot wounds inflicted by an assassin. Vice President Theodore Roosevelt, at age 42, succeeded him. 1915 Carl G. Muench received a patent for Insulit, the first sound-absorbing material to be used in buildings. 1938 The VS-300 made its first flight. The craft was based on the helicopter technology patented by Igor Sikorsky. 1940 The Selective Service Act was passed by the U.S. Congress providing the first peacetime draft in the United States to prepare for WWII. 1959 Luna II, a Soviet space probe, became the first man- made object on the moon when it was crashed onto the surface. 1960 The Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) was founded. The core members were Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, and Venezuela. 1963 Mary Ann Fischer gave birth to America's first surviving quintuplets. 1972 "The Waltons" premiered on CBS-TV. 1978 "Mork & Mindy" premiered on ABC-TV. 1983 The U.S. House of Representatives voted 416-0 in a resolution condemning the Soviet Union for the shooting down of a Korean jet on September 1. 1984 Joe Kittinger became the first person to fly a balloon solo across the Atlantic Ocean. 1987 Tony Magnuson cleared 9.5 feet above the top of the U- ramp and set a new skateboard high jump record. 1989 Joseph T. Wesbecker shot and killed eight people and wounded twelve others at a printing plant in Louisville, KY. Wesbecker, 47 years old, was on disability for mental illness. He took his own life after the incident. 1998 Israel announced that they had successfully tested its Arrow-2 missile defense system. The system successfully destroyed a simulated target. 2001 Nintendo released the GameCube home video game console in Japan. 2001 The FBI released the names of the 19 suspected hijackers that had taken part in the September 11 terror attacks on the U.S. 2009 Greyhound UK began operations as an hourly service between London and Portsmouth or Southampton. 2015 In Livingston, LA, and Hanford, WA, the Laser Interferometer Gravitational-wave Observatory (LIGO) detectors detected gravitational waves for the first time. The news was reported on February 11, 2016. 2021 Do smiled. |
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