Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, May 7 Thank you, Ron! Thank you, Shelley! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award A Louisiana deputy and his wife are facing sex crime charges that include rape and child pornography. __________________________________________________ On May 7 in 1945, Germany signed unconditional surrender ending World War II. It would take effect the next day. _____________________________________________________ One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. --- Nancy Astor (1879 - 1964) By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ____________________________________________________ >From Maria After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein- Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me - all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?" "Yes, sir," my mother said with a sigh. "They're all mine." The customs agent began his interrogation: "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?" "Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now." ___________________________________________________ if you can spare a coin, please hit paypal with it! ___________________________________________________ A group of senior citizens were exchanging notes about their ailments. "My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup." "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee." "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck." "My blood pressure pills make my dizzy." "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old." "Well, it's not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive!" ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Three golfers were playing a round with their local pro. After the pro drove right down the middle, the first member stepped up, went through his normal routine and proceeded to duck hook his shot OB. He turned to the pro and asked, "What did I do wrong?" "LOFT!" said the pro. The second guy went through his practice swing, set up and skulled his drive down to the ladies tee. Again , he turned to the pro and asked, "What did I do wrong?" "LOFT!" said the pro. Finally, the third guy takes his turn and hit a screaming boomerang slice into the drink. "What did I do wrong?," he asked. "LOFT!" said the pro. As they proceeded down the fairway, one of the members turned to the pro and said, "Hey, we all hit terrible but different shots off the tee and you said 'LOFT!' for every one. What's loft? "Lack Of Freakin' Talent!" ____________________________________________________ >.......The biggest difference between the Humor Letter and >all the clones you see nowadays is that your jokes are >always positive and not just cheap put-downs of Poles or >Blondes. Please don't change and please don't stop! >JFK ___________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dennis Perkins, Cynthia Perkins, 45, BATON ROUGE, 36, Louisiana, USA A Louisiana deputy and his wife are facing sex crime charges that include rape and child pornography. The former commander of the Livingston Parish SWAT team, Dennis Perkins, did not speak as he was hauled off to jail Thursday night. Dennis Perkins, 45, and his now ex-wife Cynthia Perkins, 36, face 150 felony charges alleging rape, child pornography, sexual battery of a child, video voyeurism and tainting pastries that children later ate at school with semen. 'A sad day': Deputy and his wife face 60 counts of child porn and child rape accusation BATON ROUGE, Louisiana: A Louisiana deputy and his wife are facing sex crime charges that include rape and child pornography. The former commander of the Livingston Parish SWAT team, Dennis Perkins, did not speak as he was hauled off to jail Thursday night. His wife Cynthia, a former teacher at Westside Junior High School, was also arrested . The investigation was led by the attorney general's office after they received a tip from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Several pictures were seized showing Dennis and Cynthia naked with a small child who was also naked, sources say. The couple faces 60 counts of production of pornography involving juveniles under the age of 13, as well as, two counts of first degree rape. Dennis was arrested while on a fishing trip, and allegedly threw his phone into the river when he saw investigators. Dennis was also charged with three counts on possession of child porn, video voyeurism and obscenity. Sheriff Jason Ard slammed the former lieutenant saying "no one is above the law." 'A sad day': Deputy and his wife face 60 counts of child porn and child rape accusation Monday, October 28, 2019 EMBED MORE VIDEOS Mexican pride was on full display in San Jose for Cinco de Mayo. The city is known to draw large crowds for the annual celebration. BATON ROUGE, Louisiana -- A Louisiana deputy and his wife are facing sex crime charges that include rape and child pornography. The former commander of the Livingston Parish SWAT team, Dennis Perkins, did not speak as he was hauled off to jail Thursday night. His wife Cynthia, a former teacher at Westside Junior High School, was also arrested . The investigation was led by the attorney general's office after they received a tip from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Several pictures were seized showing Dennis and Cynthia naked with a small child who was also naked, sources say. The couple faces 60 counts of production of pornography involving juveniles under the age of 13, as well as, two counts of first degree rape. Dennis was arrested while on a fishing trip, and allegedly threw his phone into the river when he saw investigators. Dennis was also charged with three counts on possession of child porn, video voyeurism and obscenity. Sheriff Jason Ard slammed the former lieutenant saying "no one is above the law." "I do not condone these alleged acts. I am disappointed and I have always considered Denny a friend and family member." Ard said. "It is a sad day for us, for all law enforcement officers, when you have to arrest one of your own." The Livingston Sheriff's Office fired Dennis Monday after 17 years of service. Cynthia quit her teaching job Wednesday. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Archie Re: Which Linux Dear Webby I am getting more and more fed up with Windows. W11 is even worse than W10. Which Linux do you use? Archie Dear Archie As you probably noticed, there are many different versions. I Use Cent-OS on the servers. That is basically Red-Hat, without Support, but is free. You have probably seen pictures of COSTCO sized Server Farms with rows and rows of cabinets full of machines, and Walmart sized basement with pretty colorful coolant pipes. They all use Cent-OS. The support is provided by the web hosts, who rent servers. Stay away from those. What you need is just one domain, that you rent from a web host, or any version of Linux running on your home machine, and supported by a friendly Penguin (Linux afficionado). Expect to pay them a bit now and then to teach and coach you. My teachers and coaches are in Kharkiv, Ukraine. If you find one in walking distance, that of course is even better. Just spread the word that you are looking for a Penguin, maybe even join an online user group. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ "Hey Bubba, what do you think about gun control?" "Yall have to use both hands, Betty-Sue" ______________________________________________ >From Lillemor During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level. He described a typical day this way: Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and took four leaks behind big trees. Inspired by the story, the doctor said,You must be one hell of an outdoorsman! NAH,he replied,I'm just a shitty golfer. ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jet abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the #3 engine," she explained. "It's OK now. The new pilot is deaf." ___________________________________________________ | Today, May 7, in 0558, The dome of the church of St. Sophia in Constantinople collapsed. It was immediately rebuilt as ordered by Justinian. 1274, The Second Council of Lyons opened in France to regulate the election of the pope. 1429, The English siege of Orleans was broken by Joan of Arc. 1525, The German peasants' revolt was crushed by the ruling class and church. 1663, The first Theatre Royal was opened in London. 1763, Indian chief Pontiac began all out war on the British in New York. 1789, The first U.S. Presidential Inaugural Ball was held in New York City. 1800, The U.S. Congress divided the Northwest Territory into two parts. The western part became the Indiana Territory and the eastern section remained the Northwest Territory. 1847, The AMA (American Medical Association) was organized in Philadelphia, PA. 1898, The first Intercollegiate Trapshooting Association meet was held in New Haven, CT. 1912, Columbia University approved final plans for awarding the Pulitzer Prize in several categories. 1912, The first airplane equipped with a machine gun flew over College Park, MD. 1915, The Lusitania, a civilian ship, was sunk by a German submarine. 1,201 people were killed. 1926, A U.S. report showed that one-third of the nation's exports were motors. 1937, The German Condor Legion arrived in Spain to assist Francos forces. 1939, Germany and Italy announced a military and political alliance known as the Rome-Berlin Axis. 1940, Winston Churchill became British Prime Minister. 1942, In the Battle of the Coral Sea, Japanese and American navies attacked each other with carrier planes. It was the first time in the history of naval warfare where two enemy fleets fought without seeing each other. 1943, The last major German strongholds in North Africa, Tunis and Bizerte, fell to Allied forces. 1945, Baseball owner Branch Rickey announced the organization of the United States Negro Baseball League. There were 6 teams. 1945, Germany signed unconditional surrender ending World War II. It would take effect the next day. 1946, Tokyo Telecommunications Engineering Corp. was founded. The company was later renamed Sony. 1951, Russia was admitted to participate in the 1952 Olympic Games by the International Olympic Committee. 1954, French Colonial Forces surrendered to the Vietminh at Dien Bien Phu after 55 days of fighting. 1954, The United States and the United Kingdom rejected the Soviet Union's bid to join NATO. 1958, Howard Johnson set an aircraft altitude record in an F-104. 1960, Leonid Brezhnev became president of the Soviet Union. 1975, U.S. President Ford declared an end to the Vietnam War. 1977, Rookie Janet Guthrie set the fastest time on opening day of practice for the Indianapolis 500. Her time was 185.607. 1984, A $180 million out-of-court settlement was announced in the Agent Orange class-action suit brought by Vietnam veterans who claimed they had suffered injury from exposure to the defoliant while serving in the armed forces. 1992, A 203-year-old proposed constitutional amendment barring the U.S. Congress from giving itself a midterm pay raise was ratified as the 27th Amendment. 1994, The Edvard Munch painting "The Scream" was recovered after being stolen 3 months earlier from an Oslo Museum. This version of "The Scream", one of four different versions, was painted on paper. 1996, The trial of Serbian police officer Dusan Tadic opened in the Netherlands. He was later convicted on murder-torture charges and was sentenced to 20 years in prison. 1997, A report released by the U.S. government said that Switzerland provided Nazi Germany with equipment and credit during World War II. Germany exchanged for gold what had been plundered or stolen. Switzerland did not comply with postwar agreements to return the gold. 1998, Daimler-Benz bought Chrysler Corp. for close to $40 billion. It was the largest industrial merger on record. 1998, Residents of London voted to elect their own mayor for the first time in history. The vote would take place in May 2000. 1999, A jury ruled that "The Jenny Jones Show" and Warner Bros. were liable in the shooting death of Scott Amedure. He was killed by another guest on the show. The jury's award was $25 million. 1999, In Belgrade, Yugoslavia, three Chinese citizens were killed and 20 were wounded when a NATO plane mistakenly bombed the Chinese embassy. 1999, In Guinea-Bissau, the government of President Joo Bernardo Vieira was ousted in a military coup. 2000, Russian President Vladimir V. Putin named First Deputy Premier Mikhail Kasyanov as premier. 2003, In Washington, DC, General Motors Corp. delivered six fuel cell vehicles to Capitol Hill for lawmakers and others to test drive during the next two years. 2003, Roger Moore collapsed during a matinee performance of the Broadway comedy "The Play What I Wrote." He finished the show after a 10-minute break. He was fitted with a pacemaker the following day. 2013, The Dow Jones industrial average closed at 15,056.20. It was the first time it had closed over 15,000. 2022 Do smiled. |
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