Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, July 7 Got a real shock today. Apparently, when I paid my municipal taxes last year, something went wrong. So this year they doubled, and increased, plus a penalty. $4795. OUCH!!!! I had thought that with all my scrimping and saving, I had enough saved up for this year's taxes. Yeah, right. I had almost half. So I have to beg and plead for your help! Please hit PayPal and send me your spare coins! Thanks DearWebby ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Grocery worker admits to semen-tainted yogurt ___________________________________________________ Today, July 7 in 1846 U.S. annexation of California was proclaimed at Monterey after the surrender of a Mexican garrison. ____________________________________________________ Any war that requires the suspension of reason as a necessity for support is a bad war. --- Norman Mailer (1923 - 2007), ____________________________________________________ Bo was telling the little ones of how it was when he was a young boy in Brooklyn, in Manhattan's immigrant ghetto. "When I was a kid," he said, "we didn't even have a radio. So our dad bored a hole through the wall into the living room of the Irish couple in the next apartment, to hear all the great boxing fights. That's when we discovered that they didn't have a radio either, and the fights we heard through the wall were live." ____________________________________________________ Deyan Kossev This very unusual looking tree is located in the forests of the Balkan mountains, Bulgaria. ____________________________________________________ A pretty young woman visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation. "Miss Jones," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anthony Garcia, 32, Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA Grocery worker admits to semen-tainted yogurt A grocery store worker accused of handing out a semen-tainted yogurt sample at an Albuquerque market pleaded guilty Thursday. Under terms of his plea agreement, Anthony Garcia admitted he tainted a sample of the yogurt he was handing out at Sunflower Market in January. He also admitted putting some of his semen on a plastic spoon that he placed with the yogurt. Garcia then approached a female customer and offered her a sample. "The criminal conduct to which Anthony Garcia pleaded guilty today is completely outrageous," U.S. Attorney Kenneth J. Gonzales said after Garcia's appearance in federal court. "No one should have to endure this type of experience simply because she or he accepts a food sample while shopping for groceries." Garcia, 32, pleaded guilty to charges of adulterating food and making false statements to federal investigators. The woman told police that after tasting the sample, she spit on the floor several times and wiped her mouth on the garment she was wearing to get the taste out of her mouth. Investigators collected samples of the woman's spit from the floor and took the garment she was wearing as evidence. Police say Garcia was linked to the yogurt through DNA samples. Authorities said Garcia then lied to investigators about the case. In court documents, federal prosecutors called the allegations "sickening and appalling." Garcia faces up to three years of imprisonment to be followed by three years of supervised release. He has been in federal custody since his arrest in July, and remained detained pending his sentencing, which has yet to be scheduled. DearWebby's tech support pits from: Virginia re: Laser Toner Dear Webby My Lexmark ran out of Magenta toner and gave me the runaround. It took me 45 minutes, but I managed to get it out of playing stooopid, and since it still had 180 pages worth of toner, it reluctantly did let me continue to print. That is when the aggravation started. I used to buy bulk toner for $15 per pound. Now they want $170 per cartridge! WHY? Where can I get the lowest priced toner cartridges? Virginia Dear Virginia The reason why it is so expensive is pure greed. You still only get 5 cents worth of toner in a $1.49 cartridge. The most expensive part is the counter or interface to the counter built into the printer, causing it to give you hassles when a certain number of pages have been printed, even if none of them used any magenta. Lexmark is the Chinese printer company that bought the old IBM Small Printer division. It is jointly owned by a consortium of three Chinese companies: Apex Technology, PAG Asia Capital, and Legend Capital. Manufacturing is pretty well automated and spread all over the world. They even have a plant in Kentucky, that manufactures some parts. There are three types of cartridge prices: Original, from Lexmark Remanufactured/Refilled Return of old cartridge to refillers The Return of old cartridge deal often sounds good, until you figure out how much it costs you to ship the old cartridge back. It is a great deal for them, because all cartridges run on counters, not on weight of remaining toner. Like in your case, they would get a nearly full load of Magenta. They just top it off, reset the counter, and sell it to the next victim. Unless you are printing pictures or money, set the printer to print in just black. The best (least outrageous) deal for Lexmark toner cartridges I found is at Inkjetsuperstore Have FUN! DearWebby In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur." The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular, wine, but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary. "Could you please spell that?" she asked. "You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The city-slicker attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. He did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check and cashed it in the store, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You are really a country hick, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning." ____________________________________________ A rather boring joke I heard today reminded me of a fun incicent. Many years ago when I was taking a required course in the process of becoming an electrician, we also had to take some basics physics. Personally, I always loved physics, probably because deep down inside I am still a kid that is fascinated by anything that makes noise or moves. Most of the people in the class hated physics, and one guy in particular did a lot of complaining about it and asking why it was necessary. Finally the instructor had enough and he told him that physics was required to save his live. Naturally the guy fell for that straight line and asked how physics would save his live. "It saves lives", the instructor yelled at him, "because it keeps you from finishing the course, and because if you passed my class and then later burned down a house with your lack of knowledge, I'd have to go and shoot you." That guy quit the course right there ____________________________________________ Californians are a strange people. They'll put every chemical known to man up their nostrils, and get so warped from snorting, that they tell you it's bad for you if you put sugar in your coffee! ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, July 7, in 1846 U.S. annexation of California was proclaimed at Monterey after the surrender of a Mexican garrison. 1862 The first railroad post office was tested on the Hannibal and St. Joseph Railroad in Missouri. 1885 G. Moore Peters patented the cartridge-loading machine. 1917 Aleksandr Kerensky formed a provisional government in Russia. 1920 A device known as the radio compass was used for the first time on a U.S. Navy airplane near Norfolk, VA. 1930 Construction began on Boulder Dam, later Hoover Dam, on the Colorado River. 1937 Japanese forces invaded China. 1946 Mother Frances Xavier Cabrini was canonized as the first American saint. 1950 The U.N. Security Council authorized military aid for South Korea. 1969 Canada's House of Commons gave final approval to a measure that made the French language equal to English throughout the national government. 1981 U.S. President Reagan announced he was nominating Arizona Judge Sandra Day O'Connor to become the first female justice on the U.S. Supreme Court. 1983 Eleven-year-old Samantha Smith of Manchester, Maine, left for a visit to the Soviet Union at the personal invitation of Soviet leader Yuri V. Andropov. 1994 Amazon.com, Inc. was founded in Seattle, Washington under the name "Cadabra." 1998 A jury in Santa Monica, CA, convicted Mikail Markhasev of murdering Ennis Cosby, Bill Cosby's only son, during a roadside robbery. 1999 In Sierra Leone, President Ahmad Tejan Kabbah and rebel leader Foday Sankoh signed a pact to end the nation's civil war. 2000 Cisco Systems Inc. announced that it would buy Netiverse Inc. for $210 million in stock. It was the 13th time Cisco had purchased a company in 2000. 2000 Amazon.com announced that they had sold almost 400,000 copies of "Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire," making it the biggest selling book in e-tailing history. 2003 In Liberia, a team of U.S. military experts arrived at the U.S. embassy compound to assess whether to deploy troops as part of a peacekeeping force in the country. 2017 The first Tesla Model 3 rolled off the assembly line. 2021 Do smiled. |
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