Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, October 15 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Kansas man charged with human trafficking _____________________________________________________ Today, October 15 in 1997 The Cassini-Huygens mission was launched from Cape Canaveral, FL. On January 14, 2005, a probe sent back pictures of Saturn's moon Titan during and after landing. _____________________________________________________ If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. --- Anatole France (1844 - 1924) _____________________________________________________ The boy came skipping into the house with a big lollipop in his hands. "Where did you get it?" his mother asked. "I bought it with the quarter you gave me." "The quarter I gave you was for Sunday School." "I know Mom," said the boy, "but the minister met me at the door and got me in free." _____________________________________________________ Flicker, Springbak, Alberta Doug McQueen ___________________________________________________ A pastor was giving the children's message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children's church. On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, "I'm going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is." The children nodded eagerly. "This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats nuts (pause)..." No hands went up. "And it is gray (pause) and has a long bushy tail (pause) . . . " The children were looking at each other, but still no hands raised. "And it jumps from branch to branch (pause) and chatters and flips its tail when it's excited (pause) . . . " Finally one little boy tentatively raised his hand. The pastor breathed a sigh of relief and called on him. "Well," said the boy, "I KNOW the answer must be Jesus -- but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me!" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David D. Spears, 51, Osawatomie, Kansas, USA Kansas man charged with human trafficking The Shawnee County Sheriff's Office said Tuesday that a Kansas man was arrested and charged with two felonies after he traveled to Topeka to meet with an underage girl on Monday night. On Sept. 29, the sheriff's office and Kansas Highway Patrol received information from a concerned citizen regarding the suspected human trafficking and sexual exploitation of a child. Monday night, detectives with the Criminal Investigation Division of the sheriff's office and multiple KHP officers arrested 51-year- old David D. Spears, of Osawatomie. The sheriff's office said Spears attempted to meet with a 17-year-old at a local motel. The victim was placed into police protective custody. Spears was booked into the Shawnee County Department of Corrections and charged with aggravated human trafficking and commercial sexual exploitation of a child. His bond is set at $250,000. A 17-year-old male from Topeka was also arrested and charged with commercial sexual exploitation for transporting the victim. The investigation is ongoing and more charges will be listed later. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Miranda RE: ZOOM Dear Webby, I tried your suggested ZOOM, but even though I am quite computer literate, I find Skype to be considerably easier. Yes, I read that ZOOM's fortunes rocketed 37 BILLION bucks this year, but I don't see why. The program works, but sure takes some getting used to. I realize that Skype and FaceBook took off like crazy because of Jewish originators, but in the case of Zoom, the creator is a Chinese born Californian. So, what gives? Miranda Dear Miranda Keep in mind that Billions of people are thoroughly pissed right off about Microsoft forcing W10 down their throat. They might be quietly grumbling about ZOOMs user interface not being as logical or intuitive as they would like, but they are loudly yelling and screaming about W10. If you consider the mass migration to ZOOM to be a revolt against Microsoft, then you would probably be about 120% right. The recent changes to Skype, aligning it to W10's anti-productive concepts, of course did not help. I noticed that of the hundreds of Skype contacts I used to have, only the oldest ones still show as live. The vast majority seems to have either died or migrated. If I had any money, I would definitely invest in ZOOM shares. Considering that they are about the only way to strike back at the "Evil Empire", a LOT of people are going to buy ZOOM shares, and their worth will go over 100 Billion before the snow melts. Naturally, not all shareholders will actually use ZOOM, unless you page them, but none of them will ever go back to Skype. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful single daughter. So one day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces: "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man that can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!" As soon as he finished his last word there was the sound of a large SPLASH! One guy was in the pool, swimming as fast as he could, and the crowd was cheering him on. Finally he made it to the other side unharmed. The millionaire was impressed. He said "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain, so which do you want: my daughter or the one million dollars? The guy says "Listen I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I just want the goober who pushed me into that pool! ____________________________________________ The patient awakened after the operation to find herself in a room with all the blinds drawn. "Why are all the blinds closed?" she asked her doctor. "Well," the surgeon responded, "They're fighting a huge fire at the SHELL gas station across the street, and because the S in the SHELL sign is not visible from here, we didn't want you to wake up and think the operation had failed." ____________________________________________ When operating a computer, whatever happens, behave as though you meant for it to happen. When you reach the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete. When the going gets tough, upgrade. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. To err is human . . . to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural. He who laughs last probably made a back-up. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but not necessarily what you intended it to do. ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today October 15 in 1815 Napoleon Bonaparte began his exile on the remote island of St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean. 1860 Grace Bedell, 11 years old, wrote a letter to presidential candidate Abraham Lincoln. The letter stated that Lincoln would look better if he would grow a beard. 1883 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down part of the Civil Rights Act of 1875. It allowed for individuals and corporations to discriminate based on race. 1892 The U.S. government announced that the land in the western Montana was open to settlers. The 1.8 million acres were bought from the Crow Indians for 50 cents per acre. 1939 New York Municipal Airport was dedicated. The name was later changed to La Guardia Airport. 1945 Pierre Laval, the former premier of Vichy France, was executed for treason. 1946 Hermann Goering, a Nazi war criminal and founder of the Gestapo, poisoned himself just hours before his scheduled execution. 1964 It was announced that Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev had been removed from power. He was replaced with Alexei N. Kosygin. 1966 In Illinois, Cahokia Mounds was added to the U.S. National Register of Historic Places. 1983 U.S. Marines killed five snipers who had pinned them down in Beirut International Airport. 1984 The Freedom of Information Act was passed. 1989 South African officials released eight prominent political prisoners. 1989 Wayne Gretzky, while playing for the Los Angeles Kings, surpassed Gordie Howe's NHL scoring record of 1,850 career points. 1993 U.S. President Clinton sent warships to enforce trade sanctions that had been imposed on Haitian military rulers. 1993 South Africa's President F.W. de Klerk and African National Congress President Nelson Mandela were named winners of the Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts to end the apartheid system in South Africa. 1997 British Royal Air Force pilot Andy Green broke the land-speed record by driving a jet-powered car faster than the speed of sound. 1997 The Cassini-Huygens mission was launched from Cape Canaveral, FL. On January 14, 2005, a probe sent back pictures of Saturn's moon Titan during and after landing. 1998 The U.N. condemned the U.S. economic embargo on Cuba for the seventh year in a row. 2001 NASA's Galileo spacecraft passed within 112 miles of Jupiter's moon Io. 2020 Do smiled. |
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