Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, December 5 ____________________________________________________ Today, December 5 in 1932 German physicist Albert Einstein was granted a visa making it possible for him to travel and move to the U.S. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Chewbacca Is nabbed by police _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action. --- Frank Herbert _______________________________________________ Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz and, after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing. "Your honour," he said, "I wanna get out a warrent for that dirty lawyer of mine." "Why ?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for?" "Well, your honour," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I had stolen." ________________________________________________` >From Linda ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Darren Pickrem, 56, Largo, Floriduh Chewbacca Is nabbed by police A former employee of a Florida vending machine company dressed up in a Chewbacca costume and stole money from a pair of kiosks he previously maintained, according to cops who arrested the "Star Wars" devotee for grand theft. According to investigators, Darren Pickrem, 56, took a total of $623 from a pair of vending machines operated by Florida Fresh Vending. The heist occurred late last Sunday at an office in Largo and was captured by a security camera. The defendant, a felony complaint states, was observed on video entering the above location in a 'Chewbacca' costume. Pickrem was terminated by the vending company two months ago, cops report. And while he knew enough to wear a disguise, Pickrem inexplicably allowed cameras to get a shot of his face as he entered the building containing the vending machines. A witness identified Pickrem with 100 percent certainty since she saw him on a daily basis for two years of his employment, according to the complaint. Pickrem (seen above) was booked into the county jail and later released on $2000 bond. His rap sheet includes prior arrests for disorderly conduct and indecent exposure (both cases ended with Pickrem entering no contest pleas). Pickrem, a Canadian native, once played for a junior hockey team affiliated with the Montreal Canadiens. His daughter Sydney, a 19-year-old swimmer, was a member of the Canadian Olympic team and competed at the 2016 Summer Olympics. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From Dbarty === Re: why cant we get your daily picture Dear Webby, why cant we get your daily picture ...@aol Dear Dbarty That is just a routine AOL malfunction. There is nothing I can do about AOL problems. How much is AOL paying you for putting up with these exclusive, AOL only, special features ? You can browse to http://webby.com/humor and see what the people, who are on the real Internet, got in their mail. Just drag an icon from the address line of the browser onto your desktop for easy access. A few tens of thousands of people who are not allowed to receive mail like the Humor Letter on their work machine, do just that, and it works just fine. They get the regular subscription at home, but have access to the Humor Letter at work too. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. An English soldier, an American solider and a Russian soldier found themselves sharing a table in a Bosnian restaurant, and the conver sation turned towards how well fed each of them was. "In the Russian army we have 2000 calories of food a day" said the Russian. "Well", said the Englishman, "In the British army we are given 4000 calories of food a day." "That's nothing", said the American, "in the US army we have 8000 calories of food a day". At this the Russian got very annoyed. "Nonsense", he said, "how could one man eat that much cabbage!!!." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
MacTavish's little boy was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson. "If you had five pounds," said the teacher, "and I asked you for the loan of three pounds, how many would you have left?" "Five," said young MacTavish firmly. "Five?" the teacher said "How do you make it five?" "Well," replied young MacTavish "You can ask for a loan of three pounds, but that doesn't mean you will get it." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Hand Cleaner for Stains I spilled "Old English" furniture polish on my green carpet. It left an ugly brown stain. My husband finally tried his automotive hand cleaner, smearing it in good. We let it set a few minutes then using warm water and began to wipe it up. When we finished, the stain was gone. Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml ____________________________________________________ | | Watch How This Little Girl Celebrates A Country Christmas. |
___________________________________________________ A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all those big rocks. Wherever did they come from?" "The glaciers brought them down," said the guide. "But where are the glaciers?" The lady asked. "The glaciers," said the guide in a weary voice, "have gone back for more rocks." ___________________________________________________ Two friends, one an optimist and the other a pessimist, could never quite agree on any topic of discussion. One day the optimist decided he had found a good way to pull his friend out of his continual pessimistic thinking. The optimist owned a hunting dog that could walk on water. His plan? Take the pessimist and the dog out duck hunting in a boat. They got out into the middle of the lake, and the optimist brought down a duck. The dog immediately walked out across the water, retrieved the duck, and walked back to the boat. The optimist looked at his pessimistic friend and said,"What do you think about that?" The pessimist replied, "That dog can't swim, can he?" Luckily the pessimist was wearing a life jacket when he got tossed into the water. ___________________________________________________ A guy goes to a doctor and says: "Doctor, my wife has lost her voice, a week ago...." "And you are afraid she'll find it again ?" __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, December 5 in 1560 Charles IX succeeded as King of France on the death of Francis II. 1766 James Christie, founder of the famous auctioneers, held his first sale in London. 1797 Napoleon Bonaparte arrived in Paris to command forces for the invasion of England. 1812 Napoleon Bonaparte left his army as they were retreating from Russia. 1848 U.S. President Polk triggered the Gold Rush of '49 by confirming the fact that gold had been discovered in California. 1876 The Stillson wrench was patented by D.C. Stillson. The device was the first practical pipe wrench. 1904 The Russian fleet was destroyed by the Japanese at Port Arthur, during the Russo-Japanese War. 1913 Britain outlawed the sending of arms to Ireland. 1932 German physicist Albert Einstein was granted a visa making it possible for him to travel to the U.S. 1933 Prohibition came to an end when Utah became the 36th state to ratify the 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. 1934 Fighting broke out between Italian and Ethiopian troops on the Somalian border. 1934 The Soviet Union executed 66 people charged with plotting against Joseph Stalin's government. 1935 In Montebello, CA, the first commercial hydroponics operation was established. 1936 The Soviet Union adopted a new Constitution under a Supreme Council. 1944 During World War II, Allied troops took Ravenna, Italy. 1945 The so-called "Lost Squadron" disappeared. The five U.S. Navy Avenger bombers carrying 14 Navy flyers began a training mission at the Ft. Lauderdale Naval Air Station. They were never heard from again. 1951 The first push button-controlled garage opened in Washington, DC. 1956 British and French forces began a withdrawal from Egypt during the Suez War. 1958 Britain's first motorway, the Preston by-pass, was opened by Prime Minister Macmillan. 1961 United Nations forces launched an attack in Katanga, the Congo, near Elizabethville. 1962 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to cooperate in the peaceful uses of outer space. 1971 The Soviet Union, at United Nations Security Council, vetoed a resolution calling for a cease-fire in hostilities between India and Pakistan over Kashmir. 1977 Egypt broke diplomatic relations with Syria, Libya, Algeria, Iraq and South Yemen due to peaceful relations with Israel. 1978 The American space probe Pioneer Venus I, orbiting Venus, began beaming back its first information and picture of the planet. 1979 Sonia Johnson was formally excommunicated by the Mormon Church due to her outspoken support for the proposed Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution. 1983 In west Beirut, Lebanon, more than a dozen people were killed when a car bomb shattered a nine-story apartment building. 1983 The video arcade game "NFL Football" was unveiled in Chicago. It was the first video arcade game to be licensed by the National Football League. 1984 Iran's official news agency quoted the hijackers of a Kuwaiti jetliner parked at Tehran airport as saying they would blow up the plane unless Kuwait released 14 imprisoned extremists. 1986 The Soviet Union said it would continue to abide by the SALT II treaty limits on nuclear weapons. This was despite the decision by the U.S. to exceed them. 1988 Jim Bakker and former aide Richard Dortch were indicted by a federal grand jury in North Carolina on fraud and conspiracy charges. 1989 Israeli soldiers killed five heavily armed Arab guerrillas who crossed the border from Egypt. The guerrillas were allegedly going to launch a terrorist attack commemorating the anniversary of the Palestinian uprising. 1989 East Germany's former leaders were placed under house arrest. 1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin kept the power to appoint Cabinet ministers, defeating a constitutional amendment that would have put his team of reformers under the control of Russia's Congress. 1998 James P. Hoffa became the head of the Teamsters union, 23 years after his father was the head. His father disappeared and was presumed dead. 2001 In Germany, Afghan leaders signed a pact to create a temporary administration for post-Taliban Afghanistan. Two women were included in the cabinet structure. Hamid Karzai and his Cabinet were planned to take over power in Afghanistan on December 22. 2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 300 million applications downloaded. 2010 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft became the longest- operating spacecraft ever sent to Mars. The Odyssey entered orbit around Mars on October 23, 2001. 2014 NASA's Orion Multi-Purpose Crew Vehicle (MPCV) debuted when it was launched for a four hour test flight. It landed on target in the Pacific Ocean. 2019 Do smiled. |
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