Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, July 5 ___________________________________________________ Today, July 5 in  1951 Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented the junction transistor.  _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Aurora Man Sentenced to 11 Years in Attempted Murder Case  ______________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. --- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001) A month in the laboratory can often save an hour in the library. --- Frank Westheimer _____________________________________________________ You Know You're Born and Raised in Small-Town Idaho When. *During a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids. *You are related to more than half the town. *You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance. *Your car breaks down outside of town and news of it gets back to town before you do. *Without thinking, you wave to all oncoming traffic. *You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store. *You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather. *There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it. *The local gas station sells live bait. *You go to the State Fair for your family vacation. *You get up at 5:30 am and go down to the coffee shop. *You're on a first name basis with the county sheriff. *You have the number of the Co-op on speed dial. *All your radio-preset buttons are country. *Using the elevator involves a grain truck. *Your mayor is also your garbage hauler, barber, and insurance salesman. *You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit. *You call the wrong number and talk to the person for an hour anyway. *Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out. *You know cow pies aren't made of beef. *You wake up when it's dark and go to bed when it's still light. *You can tell it's a farmer working late in his field and not a UFO. *Your nearest neighbor is in the next area code. (or a long distance call) *You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk. *You know the code names for everyone on the CB. (Hi Junior Momma!) *You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds. *You wear your boots to church. *It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town. *You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of feedlot apart. *The meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor with him/her. *You go to Wal-Mart for your Saturday shopping. *Your main drag in town is two blocks long. (and only one block of that is paved) *You defend the beauty of being able to see the next town which is 20 miles away. _____________________________________________________   Santisouk Long Eared Owl (Calgary SE - May 27, 2020) ___________________________________________________ Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya." "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?" "That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..." "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me..." "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry." Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?" "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned." Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?" "Well, no Brenda... no." "No?" "Fact is, he got out three times to pee." ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Helen for reporting this bonehead!   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Jordi Nieto Aurora, Kansas, USA 
 Aurora Man Sentenced to 11 Years in Attempted Murder Case 
 An Aurora man has been sentenced to 11 years in prison after pleading guilty to Attempted First-Degree Murder and other charges in connection with incidents in Montgomery and Aurora last year. Twenty-one-year-old Jordi Nieto of Spring St., received six years for Attempted Murder, three years for Aggravated Domestic Battery and two years for Aggravated Stalking which will be served consecutively. Nieto will be required to serve 85 percent of the murder and battery sentences and is eligible for day for day sentencing on the stalking conviction. Prosecutors argued in Kane County Court that on the evening of June 20, 2019, Nieto, upset that the 18 year- old female victim had ended their relationship, went to her place of employment in Montgomery where he climbed a security fence, entered the victims vehicle and waited for the victim to come out to the vehicle during a break. When the victim got into the car, prosecutors argued Nieto grabbed the victim, prevented her from getting out of the car and threatened at least once to kill her. Nieto eventually drove away, taking the victim to a family member's in Aurora where the two spent the night and the victim left the next morning. Prosecutors said a report wasn't immediately made. Sometime after 1:00 a.m. on June 25, the victim arrived home from work and discovered Nieto waiting there with what the victim believed was a weapon in his hand. The victim then fled and prosecutors said that Nieto got into his car and followed, at one point ramming the victims vehicle. The victim returned home, exited the vehicle and attempted to run across the street and to her house where the female's parents were outside. Prosecutors said that when the victims mother stepped into the street to aid the her, Nieto swerved, striking the victim and running over the mother before he crashed into a parked car and tree. A ratchet, gloves, knife and ax were found in Nieto's vehicle and it was stated in court that information about criminal case where a woman was bludgeoned to death and set on fire was found in a search on Nieto's phone. Aurora and Montgomery Police handled the incidents. Court records show Nieto is additionally required to pay $30,000 in restitution toward the victim's medical costs and an order of protection remains in effect for two years after a four-year probation term is served upon release.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Cynthia Re: What is the purpose of PDF format?   DearWebby, I find the PDF format to be a nuisance and chicanery and have hated it ever since they came up with it in the late 80s. What is the real purpose of it, aside from annoying me and extracting money from people? Cynthia  Dear Cynthia You probably remember the dot matrix printers line printers from the 80s, with each one interpreting text just slightly different. Originally PDF was used to translate a whole page of individual lines into a print batch, that was then sent to the printer in one shot like a picture, instead of each line separately. That ensured that the result looked precisely the way the sender intended, not differently depending on what brand of printer was used by the recipient. If you saved a PDF file, it was basically a picture of the intended page, not text. That also ensured that the person who received the file could not mess with it and change the numbers on an invoice. Ebooks also benefitted from that. You could not copy an eBook and just change the name of the author to yours. Eventually ways were developed to put editable fields into PDF pages, and then came OCR readers, that translate entire books from PDF to regular text. Nowadays you can translate anything to PDF format, even pictures, and some scanners offer PDF as the output choice. You can also convert a PDF page to a picture format like JPG. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 _____________________________________________ 
 A Pastor was called to a local nursing home to perform a wedding. An anxious old man met him at the door. The pastor sat down to counsel the old man and asked several questions. "Do you love her?" The old man replied, "Nope." "Is she a good Christian woman?" "I don't know for sure," the old man answered. "Does she have lots of money?" asked the pastor. "I doubt it." "Then why are you marrying her?" the preacher asked. "Cause she can drive at night," the old man said. _____________________________________________ A college student with a young child was pleased when her daughter became eligible to attend the day care center at the University. The director of the day care gave the mother a tour of the facilities. To assure herself of the center's high standards, the young mother asked about the curriculum. "Well," said the director, eyes twinkling, "today we are studying the children's favorite philosopher: Play-Doh." ____________________________________________ Keli was studying to be a counselor always went into her counseling sessions with an ear muff over one ear. After a while the supervisor became very curious and asked her about it. Keli replied, "It's for confidentiality." "Confidentiality?" asked the bewildered supervisor. "Yes, confidentiality," Keli explained, "I've been told what goes in one ear comes out the other, and I don't want anyone else knowing what my client says." 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today July 5 in 1806 A Spanish army repelled the British during their attempt to retake Buenos Aires, Argentina. 1811 Venezuela became the first South American country to declare independence from Spain. 1814 U.S. troops under Jacob Brown defeated a superior British force at Chippewa, Canada. 1830 France occupied the North African city of Algiers. 1832 The German government began curtailing freedom of the press after German Democrats advocate a revolt against Austrian rule. 1839 British naval forces bombarded Dingai on Zhoushan Island in China and then occupied it. 1863 U.S. Federal troops occupied Vicksburg, MS, and distributed supplies to the citizens. 1865 William Booth founded the Salvation Army in London. 1865 The U.S. Secret Service Division was created to combat currency counterfeiting, forging and the altering of currency and securities.. 1892 Andrew Beard was issued a patent for the rotary steam engine. 1916 Adelina and August Van Buren started on the first successful transcontinental motorcycle tour to be attempted by two women. They started in New York City and arrived in San Diego, CA, on September 12, 1916. 1935 U.S. President Roosevelt signed the National Labor Relations Act into law. The act authorized labor to organize communist style for the purpose of collective bargaining. 1940 During World War II, Britain and the Vichy government in France broke diplomatic relations. 1941 German troops reached the Dnieper River in the Soviet Union. 1943 The battle of Kursk began as German tanks attack the Soviet salient. It was the largest tank battle in history. 1946 The bikini bathing suit, created by Louis Reard, made its debut during a fashion show at the Molitor Pool in Paris. Micheline Bernardini wore the two-piece outfit. 1950 U.S. forces engaged the North Koreans for the first time at Osan, South Korea. 1951 Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented the junction transistor. 1962 Algeria became independent after 132 years of French rule. 1984 The U.S. Supreme Court weakened the 70-year-old "exclusionary rule," deciding that evidence seized with defective court warrants could be used against defendants in criminal trials. 1989 Former U.S. National Security Council aide Oliver North received a $150,000 fine and a suspended prison term for his part in the Iran-Contra affair. The convictions were later overturned. 1991 Regulators shut down the Pakistani-managed Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI) in eight countries. The charge was fraud, drug money laundering and illegal infiltration into the U.S. banking system. 1998 Japan joined U.S. and Russia in space exploration with the launching of the Planet-B probe to Mars. 2000 Jordanian security agents shot and killed a Syrian hijacker after he threw a grenade that exploded and wounded 15 passengers aboard a Royal Jordanian airliner. 2000 10 Bengal tigers, including 7 rare white tigers, died at the Nandankanan Zoo in India. The tigers died of trypanosomiasis (sleeping sickness). 2000 Euan Blair, the oldest son of British prime minister Tony Blair, was arrested after police found him drunk and lying on the ground in London's Leicester Square. 2020 Do smiled. 
 
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